Alright millennials, as someone who also reached young adulthood in the early 21st century, I have some dating advice to give—one millennial to another—that will help you get that special someone you really like. I’m a total romantic, so I’m all in it with all my heart and want to help you do the same. Also, I’m sick of people saying millennials are only about hookups, or that we play the field too much. Not only is it a huge myth (science proves it), but it also makes people think that the ‘new’ way to date is to date around instead of focusing on finding something real. And that’s just not true.
Do you know what you want in a relationship? Are you unsure about who you like? Not having goals when dating as a millennial isn’t going to get you what you want. But here are some things all millennials experience while dating and a few tips that may help you as you meet people, figure out what you want, and hopefully find someone who’s good for you…
Download. Delete. Redownload.
Admit it, we all download and delete and re-download dating apps. Religiously. Sure you need that extra room on your phone to record and take pictures in the moment, but keeping your dating profile active and fresh keeps your name and your story in front of other people who are still in the dating game. Unless you’re in a relationship that’s gotten really serious, go ahead and keep that app active. You know you’re going to come back eventually.
We all know communicating is so important to a relationship, but over-communicating can be too much for some people on dating apps. Why not keep some things to yourself and wait to share your hidden talent or your big secret until after you’ve developed a stronger relationship with someone?
Even if you don’t live in a big city or aren’t the most fashionable person around, putting in a little effort into your date night outfit can go a long way. Why not bring fashion back to what it stands for? As the saying goes, “as the world revolves you, you should and shall revolve with it.”
Even if you’re dressing up in a Treasure and Bond ruffle tunic paired with a brown Vince leather skirt and a Yaro Ankle Strap Sandal by Sam Edelman, my rule is don’t be afraid to show your sense of fashion. You are your brand, and every look and every date counts. Even something small, like getting your hair done at the blow-dry bar, can make you feel even more amazing than you already are. Plus, it can give you that extra bit of confidence that makes you irresistible.
An extra tip for the guys: Let’s put our Vans and adidas away and show that special someone the real man you can be. Start off with a white button-down shirt. (This will really be the focal point of your canvas and will pull your look together when you pair it with some H&M tech stretch skinny jeans.) An important note on the skinny jeans… Do find out your true size by taking a visit to the store before you purchase them. You are your own tailor and know what looks best on your body. A pair of basic black loafers by Aldo named Ocadalle will be the perfect shoe for your date. A good black shoe can get you anywhere you need.
The Right Restaurant
When you’re going on your first date I can’t tell you how important choosing the right restaurant is. We all love food, as it is a way of life like Elizabeth Gilbert says, “Eat, Pray, and ending with the big L Love.” Try choosing a restaurant without heavy oiled foods—Exhibit A: fried food. Trust me, it will save you from a disaster and also from having to chug down a green juice the next day.
Remember the eye contact in the movie poster for, The Fault in Our Stars? Well, that times three is what you need on a date. (No, I’m totally kidding but aren’t they so cute in that movie?) So you know where this is leading right? Things like eye contact show the other person how important they are to you. When I go on date I try not to go on my phone unless there’s a real emergency. So put it away. Or, better yet, wait for your date to use the restroom, then check you Snapchat updates, Instagram feed, and Twitter accounts. And maybe a quick check on TechCrunch if you’re into that kind of thing. It’s the best of both worlds. Am I right?
The Next Date
So imagine the date is going smoothly… You were nervous, but now things are comfortable enough that you’re both asking questions and enjoying each other’s company. As a result, you find yourself connecting with this person and you dare to ask if they would like to go on another date. Show the other person you aren’t afraid to go after what you want. Speak up and tell them you would like to have brunch or another dinner with them. Most people usually text after a date and tell someone they had a good time, then ask if they would like to go on another date. But let’s approach this in a more organic way—feel free to say it in person. That way the bridge has already been crossed and you can both leave feeling confident and excited. Try saying more face-to-face and just a little less on text.
Trust me it will help build your dating game.