There’s a lot of dating advice out there. But because so much of it is conflicting (especially as ties change) it can be hard to know what dating advice to take to heart and what dating advice to ignore. Do women still want you to make the first move, or should you let them do it? Do people still use pickup lines? If you lose interest, how should you tell her? (Or do you have to tell her at all?)
If your head is spinning with questions, we can help. Here’s some simple, straightforward dating advice for men that will help you break the ice and get to know more women.
1. Be honest.
If you like her, tell her. If you want to make the first move or ask for her phone number or ask her on a date, do it. But at the same time, don’t move too quickly. If you come on too strong or are too clingy too soon, even if you’re an amazing guy, it will likely scare her away before she gets the chance to really know you. So try to strike a balance between showing that you’re interested and not coming on too strong. Think of it as keeping the relationship in a steady pace forward, not a sprint.
2. Be a good listener.
You should definitely do some of the talking—women like it when men open up about their interests. But don’t do all of the talking. Ask her questions about her day and her life, and then listen to (and remember) her responses. Bonus points if you can repeat something she said back to her in a future message or on your next date.
3. Look sharp.
All women are different and have different tastes. But keep in mind that for many women, the amount of effort you put into getting ready for a date (which includes grooming and how you dress) is a sign of how much effort you’re putting into them. It’s one way to show that you’re trying to impress her and that you care.
So when a guy shows up for a date looking like a slob, it can set a sour tone for the evening. Not to mention that it’s a huge turnoff. (In fact, in a recent survey 66% of singles said wrinkled clothes were the biggest turn-off on a first date.) You don’t have to wear a three-piece suit, but you should spend a little time on your outfit, hair, and appearance for your date. She’ll definitely notice when you dress to impress (and when you don’t).
4. Don’t disappear on her.
If you change your mind about wanting to date a woman, the best thing you can do is tell her. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, and no, you don’t want to hurt her feelings. But trust us: In this situation, telling her is the nicest thing you can do. It might suck for a few minutes or hours, but you’ll both be happier if you’re honest with her.
5. Don’t try too hard.
When you’re trying to win a woman over, don’t try too hard! We asked over 3,000 women what they like to see in a first message from an online dating match, and only 3% said they want to see a flirty pickup line. 29% would like to hear what you like about their profile, and 23% said just say hello. When you’re first getting to know a woman, don’t overthink what to say. Just keep it simple. You may be surprised by how easy it can be.
6. Just be yourself.
She wants to get to know you, not the guy you think she wants. If you’re open about who you are, what you like, and what you’re looking for in a match, and she’s not interested, then she’s just not the right woman for you.
Ultimately, do what feels right for you. Not every piece of dating advice will work for you in every situation, and that’s okay. Are you both wildly, unabashedly into each other? Then go shout your love from the rooftops! But, for the most part, these tips should provide a good base from which you can build a meaningful, honest, and fun relationship with a woman.