Dating Data Reveals What Black Women Want In a Man

This man figured out what black women want in a man and is enjoying himself with his girlfriend.

When it comes to dating a lot of us make a lot of assumptions… Men always pay on the first date, dress to impress, wait two days to call back. But with online dating we’ve found that a lot of the old ‘rules’ and assumptions simply don’t hold true anymore. Now it’s standard to go dutch, casual attire is more accepted, and if you wait more than a day to respond to a woman you may never hear from her again. So when it comes to what women want from a man, have things really changed? And are the things that black women want any different than what every women wants? Or from what men want for that matter?

To find the answers, the online dating site and app Zoosk looked into the data. They pulled out the most popular words black women used when describing their “Perfect Match” (aka the type of guy they’re hoping to meet) in their online dating profile and found a few things that stood out.

Wondering what black women really want in a man? Here’s what the data says:

Top Characteristics Black Women Want in a Man

20s 30s 40s







fun fun



laugh laugh



family humor



funny god



god family



ambitious loving



loving kind



caring relationship



kind caring



open funny



loyal gentleman



relationship smile



smile ambitious



nice open



respectful respectful


sense of humor kids intelligent


So what does it all mean? Here are some of the things to think about:

When it comes to women (all women) honesty is always the best policy. 
Just like women of all races, black women are looking for an honest man. For black women in their 30s and 40s, honest is the quality they mention most often when describing their perfect man. And for women in their 20s and who are 50+ it’s the 2nd most mentioned.

Most black men are looking for the same thing. Though honest isn’t the top quality they mention, it’s pretty high up on the list of desirable qualities.

It never hurts to make a woman laugh and show her a fun time.
Like all women, black women also value a man who can have fun and make them laugh. In fact, these are often the 1st or 2nd most mentioned traits. Other popular terms include humor, funny, sense of humor, and loves to laugh. 

A caring, loving man is at the top of every women’s list.
Another popular group of traits for women of all ages and ethnicities is men who are caring and loving. These terms are almost always in the top 10 most mentioned. In addition, nice, kind, and a man who can make a woman smile are also popular.

Black women are also looking for a man who’s ambitious. 
One distinctive quality black women call out that other woman don’t is a man with ambition. This is especially important for younger women. For black women in their 20s being ambitious is the 4th most popular trait they’re looking for and then it drops to 7th for women in their 30s, and 14th for women in their 40s.

And as it so happens, black men are looking for ambitious women too. Especially men in their 30s—it’s the 3rd most popular characteristic they mention.

Black women value someone with a relationship with God.
Something that both black men and women are looking for that other races don’t mention as often, is someone who has a place for God in their life. This also becomes increasingly important for black women as they get older. For black women in their 20s it’s the 12th most mentioned trait, 6th for women in their 30s, 5th for women in their 40s, and 4th for women over 50.

Black women want a man who’s respectful. 
Another trait that stands out more for black women than others, are men who are respectful. For black women in their 20s it’s the 14th most mentioned trait and 16th for women in their 30s and 40s.

After looking into the data, a few things become obvious. Most online daters, men and women of all races, want someone honest who can make them laugh and show them a fun time. Black women do have a few characteristics that they value more than most however—a man who’s ambitious, has a relationship with God, and can be respectful.

So work hard, show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, and keep in good standing with the man up above. You might just be the perfect match for the black woman in your life.

Megan Murray

Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix

Megan Murray is the Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix and works at the online dating site and app Zoosk, that has over 40 million members worldwide. She splits her time between writing for The Date Mix and working on the Zoosk product, which gives her behind-the-scenes knowledge about the world of online dating.

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