Dating Advice for Men – The Date Mix https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters Fri, 15 Dec 2017 09:00:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5 Why Women Like a Man with Confidence https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-men/why-women-like-men-with-confidence/ Sat, 07 Oct 2017 08:00:31 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15248 "How do you become more confident? You become more confident by doing."

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Ever wonder why women find a confident man so attractive? Marni Kinrys from The Wing Girl Method explains her views about why women are attracted to confident men and why it’s so important.

Video Transcript:

Hey, my name is Marni and from here on out I am going to be your very own Wing Girl. That means it’s my job to tell you everything you need to know about women. So you can attract, date, and get the women you want.

Confidence. How freaking annoying is that word? It’s what you constantly hear everyone telling you that women find most attractive. But what the hell does it actually mean? How does one even become confident and why is it so freaking attractive to women? Let’s tackle the last question first because that’s the most important one, right? Why is confidence so freaking attractive to women? It’s attractive because as a woman I want to be attached to the man that provides me with the highest chance of keeping me alive. Sorry, I know I just took you back to the cave days by going all biological and evolutionary on you. But, you have to think of things in that way to truly understand why women go gaga over confidence. David Buss, writer of The Evolution of Attraction or Desire, (I totally forget), a professor of evolutionary psychology, and past guest of my popular podcast, What She Wants (available on iTunes) has stated that women are most attracted to attributes that bring them closer to resources that will guarantee optimal survival. Now I know some of you trolls and bitter men out there who will be writing nasty things on my comment wall after this video will take in that information to mean that all women are just money-hungry, but I assure you that’s not what it means. Even though we are no longer living in the cave days and daily threat of death is no longer an issue, survival and surviving well is still a thing. And those around us that seemingly have attributes like good health, wealth, intelligence, social status, friendship circles, and character are people that we want to attach ourselves to.

On a non-evolutionary level, but an emotional level, women are attracted to men with confidence because we innately feel that these men will be able to take care of us no matter what happens. A confident man will know what restaurant to go to, he’ll know how to take care of us in the bedroom, he’ll know what to do if there’s danger, he’ll know how to handle my emotions, he’ll know how to take care of me, which in turn will make me want to take care of him. Simply put, confident men do. And they do it well. Being around a man who knows what to do is intoxicating.

Since we’re on a sciencey path (talking about evolution), I wanted to share something really interesting with you. There are stats from the team at Zoosk, one of the leading online dating sites. They found that men with the words, “maybe”, “sort of”, “kind of”, and “not sure” in their profile in opening messages, got 25% less attention online. These stats show that women are not only turned on by men with higher confidence, they’re actually repulsed with men with lower confidence. Which leads me to answer one of the other questions I asked at the start of this video. How do you become more confident? You become more confident by doing. Ask for her number even if she potentially could say no. Ask for a date even if you could be rejected. Go for the kiss even if you might land on her cheek. My point is to start going for it and being okay with it if things don’t go the way you want. Just doing and going for what you want when you want it is going to grow your confidence.

For more tips and exercises that will help you boost your confidence quickly and easily, go to winggirlmethod.com and check out how to become a man women want. Or, you can keep watching my videos on YouTube.

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Dating Tips for Men from Women: Single Ladies Get Honest https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-men/dating-tips-for-men-from-women/ Sun, 01 Oct 2017 08:00:16 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15178 Want to know what women really love? A man with a clean shirt. Well, and a few other things...

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What’s the best way to approach a woman? What should you say? What shouldn’t you say? Do women still want you to pay on the first date? Do they still like it when you make the first move? With so many of the dynamics of how we date changing every day, sometimes it helps to get a woman’s perspective on what she thinks. That’s why we went straight to the source and asked over 3,000 women on the online dating site and app Zoosk to share their best dating tips for men from women.

From advice on how to send a first message online, to what they find the most and least attractive, these ladies let us know what they’re really looking for and what they wish men would do more often. Check out what they had to say:

Tip #1: Be who you are, not who you think she wants you to be.
When you’re trying to impress someone, it can feel natural to agree with everything they say, or pretend interest in a topic you really don’t care about, but according to these women, it can backfire. When asked what men could do better, a lot of women said they loved it when men were open and honest.

“Be yourself and never lie or stretch the truth about anything. It’s not necessary and will stop someone from getting to know you or getting close to the true you. We all have imperfections and actions we’re not proud of but it makes us who we are.”

“Don’t say something to make me happy that you don’t actually mean. Know what you want and mean what you say.”

“My piece of advice for men would be to be yourself, but always put your best foot forward. You want to be your most authentic self, but keep in mind first impressions are everything.”

“Just be yourself, don’t try to be someone you’re not. If you’re nervous, we probably are too.”

“Be open and honest about who are and what you want. It’s natural to want to be friendly and accepted, but it’s more important to be who you are and not mold yourself into the person that you think your love interest wants.”

“Be honest. Be yourself. Some people like nerdy while others like sporty. Oh, and walk away if someone says they aren’t interested. There are plenty of women who will like what you have to offer, just not the one that rejected you. So let it go and move on to someone who’s better for you.”

Tip #2: Talk about your hobbies and interests. Women want to hear it.
When asked what they like to talk about in their first conversation with a man, most women said hobbies or interests. Another really popular topic was simply chatting about how her day or week is going. But save religion or current events for later. Even though they’re great things to talk about once you’ve had a date or two, most women are more interested in getting to know about you in a first conversation.

Women’s Favorite Things to Talk About in a First Conversation:

36% – Hobbies/interests
20% – How my day or week is going
12% – Family
12% – Flirtatious banter
6% – Job/career or school
5% – Where/how we grew up
3% – Religion
2% – Current events
1% – Past relationships

Tip #3: Don’t move too fast.
All of us, men and women, are guilty of getting too excited about a new relationship and trying to move things forward too quickly. After being asked what their best piece of advice for men was, many women stressed the importance of slowing things down. Especially during the first few dates.

“If you want a relationship to last, don’t rush into things. Realize that some women need some time to themselves away from a relationship, especially if they are used to being on their own.”

“Try to get to know her first and see if you get along in general and have common interests.”

“Keep it light at first, but be honest about your feelings.”

“Recognize that when you ask a woman out the only thing you’ve established is that you are interested in her. If you want her to say yes, you need to make it your goal to get her just as interested in you. So be kind, be understanding, and above all be yourself.”

“Don’t suffocate a woman, but let her know you’re there for her.”

“Slow your roll! You may be looking for a relationship but if your expectations are too high or if you come on too strong, it will scare a woman away. Just take it slow, be yourself, and see where it goes. Slow and steady wins the race.”

Tip #4: Women are looking for a trustworthy man but also value attraction.
When asked what they value the most when looking for someone to start a relationship with, 37% of women said honesty and trust but physical attraction came in second with 22% of the vote. Other popular qualities women look for? A sense of humor and someone who values faith and family. (Which isn’t too different from what men want in a serious relationship.)

Traits Women Look for In a Serious Relationship:

37% – Honesty and trust
22% – Physical attraction
19% – A sense of humor
9% – Values faith
8% – Values family
3% – Is social and outgoing
2% – Is ambitious and career-focused
1% – Is active and sporty

Tip #5: Wondering what to say while online dating? Tell her what you like about her profile.
When asked about what a man should say in an online dating first message, the most popular way to break the ice was to tell a woman what you like about her profile. After that, women said just saying hi does the trick. But be careful, even though women like it when men say hi you may have a hard time standing out if it’s all you say. After looking into the data, Zoosk found that women respond less to messages that say hi, hello, or hey.

What Women Like to See In a First Message

29% – Tell me what he likes about my profile.
23% – Just say hi.
15% – Ask a question about my profile or photos.
9% – Tell me something about himself.
9% – Ask about the hobbies or interests in my profile.
8% – Ask about my day.
4% – Anything, I don’t care what he says.
3% – Use a flirty pickup line.

Tip #6: Manners and cleanliness matters.
Women brought up manners and etiquette a lot while describing the traits they desire most in a man. And, on the flip side, a lot of women said it turned them off when a man dressed sloppy for a date. What does this mean? If you’re a guy, a little extra attention to your hair, clothes, and general cleanliness can go a long way. Part of showing a woman that you care about her, is showing her that you’re putting in the effort to impress her. You don’t have to be into fashion or dressed to the nines to show a woman you’re trying for her. Sometimes all it takes is a shower, a clean shirt, and a shave.

A few specific things that turned women off:

“A man with a lack of manners, lack of etiquette, or horrible eating habits.”

“When a man talks too loud, or has bad table manners.”

“When they are rude to the staff at a restaurant.”

A few specific things that turned women on:

“A man who pulls out chairs and opens doors.”

“When a man looks and smells clean and neat.”

“When a man is calm and focused on our discussion.”

Tip #7: Wait to bring up sex.
When it comes to sex, everyone is different and everyone moves at a different pace. It goes without saying that a man should never pressure or push a woman into having sex before she’s comfortable (and vise versa), but many of the women we talked to explained that men should wait for the relationship to get more serious before bringing up the subject. And they definitely shouldn’t bring it up in a first message while online dating, or in the first conversation.

“Concentrate on getting to know the woman you’re with. Make that the priority, rather than concentrating on the physical side of a relationship.”

“If you want a relationship with someone be willing to build a relationship before bringing up the subject of sex. We may want sex too, but we also want to keep our self-respect and to be able to trust the man we become intimate with.”

“It turns me off when a man brings up sex in the first online or phone conversation. It’s great for some people but not for me.”

“Overly sexual flirty talk when I just meet a man, makes me uncomfortable and the wall goes right up.”

Getting physical is an important part of a romantic relationship. For some people, sex and intimacy don’t necessarily come hand in hand, so it may feel natural to have sex and discuss sex sooner. For others, intimacy and trust are a must before anything can get physical. Respect that the woman you’re with may think of sex differently than you do and adjust your behavior.

Tip #8: Be honest about what you’re looking for and when it’s not working out.
There’s a reason being breadcrumbed or ghosted are things so many people have had experiences and problems with. It’s hard to tell someone you don’t like them or to be honest about things that aren’t working for you. It’s uncomfortable and it can be tempting to take the easy way out and avoid confrontation. However, the vast majority of women we talked to said they appreciate men who are honest about how they’re feeling. It’s better to know someone isn’t interested in you, then to feel hopeful about a relationship that’s never going to happen.

“Don’t string anyone along if you’re not serious. State your intentions and see if you’re looking for the same thing she is.”

“Many men lie to avoid hurting a girl’s feelings. But what they don’t get is that the truth may not be what a woman wants to hear, but the the truth only hurts once. When men lie, it hurts every time we think about the fact that they chose to lie rather than respect us and just tell the truth.”

“If you’re not interested, that’s fine. But if you’ve been talking, emailing, or have maybe even had a date or two… if you want to break it off just say so.”

“Don’t disappear after talking for a few weeks, even if you know it’s not working. At least give a reason, not false hope.”

Like all advice, it’s good to take all of this feedback with a grain of salt. After all, it’s good to get a woman’s perspective but it’s also good to remember that the advice is coming from one point of view. Though the advice women give is often thoughtful and honest, don’t forget to talk to your friends too. See what your family thinks. Or go to the experts. Because when it comes to dating and relationships, there isn’t one solid answer, one way to meet people, or even one approach finding the one for you. Listen to what others say, be open-minded, and consider different perspectives. Then try things out for yourself and find what works for you.

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How to Tell If a Girl Likes You https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-men/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/ Tue, 29 Aug 2017 20:46:17 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15026 Ways to know if a girl is really into you without asking her directly.

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It’s the question that preempts every relationship—does she really like me? Whether you’re not ready to jump in and directly ask or you’re on that first date and trying to decipher if the vibes you feel are reciprocated, it can be hard to figure out how tell if a girl likes you.

To help you out, here are five common ways a girl shows that, yes, she’s really into you:

1. She gives you her time.
Between work, school, friends, family, hobbies, etc. it can be hard for someone to carve out a bit of personal time for themselves. If the girl you’re into sets aside some of that precious personal time in order to be with you—and we’re not talking about rushed, only-when-super-convenient and possibly-had-to-beg-for-it time, but honest made-it-a-priority-to-hang-with-you time—you can be pretty sure she thinks you’re worth having around.

2. She communicates with you.
Whatever her preferred verbal or non-verbal method (Snapchat, texting, coffee, Morse code, etc.), she makes an effort to keep up with you and your interests. She turns into you when you talk, makes eye contact (not a stare down), and asks questions about your day. While everyone gets busy and may not hit reply right away, if she initiates contact (and not just when she needs something) and makes a point to learn about that obscure podcast you love listening to, she might be into you.

3. She finds excuses to get close to you.
Tying in with the emotional closeness that communication brings, we have the well-known idea of touch. If she finds reasons to touch you, she likes you. I would extend it to include physical closeness and not just straight person-to-person contact. While personal space bubbles vary from person to person, if we like someone, we tend to let them further into our bubbles. So while hand-holding or a warm embrace can be definite signs of attraction, so too can sitting close together during a meal or on the couch, or strolling close enough that you inevitably brush into each other. The best way to judge this closeness is to compare how close she gets to you compared to how close she gets to other people. If she keeps everyone at arm’s length but seems perfectly happy right up next to you, you’re probably high on her list of people she likes. On the flip side, if she hugs everyone and seems just as happy arm-in-arm with everyone else as she is to you, she might just be the open type.

4. She laughs at your jokes.
Being social creatures, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that humor plays a large part in human social structures. At one time, it was assumed that humor and attractiveness were genetic traits you just have or don’t. It turns out, our attraction to someone may have a large influence on how we react to their sense of humor. Regardless of genes, we tend to withhold laughter from people we perceive as threats or want to threaten (not physically, but socially), and find ourselves smirking and groaning at those lame dad-jokes our besties share. We also like people we like to see us as funny and try to turn up the wit around love interests. Therefore, if the girl you’re into is smiling or flat out laughing to encourage your little jokes, science says there’s a strong chance she’s really into you.

5. She respects you.
What connects all the above points into their own poignant sign? If a girl respects your time, money, interests, and boundaries, there’s not only a good chance she’s interested in having you around on a more permanent basis, but she’s most likely a keeper herself.

If you’ve found that person, I would highly recommend taking the plunge and asking her to that new bar in town. Or, if you’re on a first date, start booking date number two!

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The 21 Most Important Dating Tips for Men https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-men/dating-tips-for-men/ Wed, 23 Aug 2017 08:00:48 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=14985 The dating tips you really need to know...

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Text versus call, hike versus drink, ask more or fewer questions… The ins and outs of dating can be very confusing for men these days. However, many of the tried and true dating tips never change. So in an effort to help out the fellas out there, we asked dating and relationship experts from across the board what the most important dating tips for men are.

Here’s their list of the top 21:

1. If you met someone in person, then ask for a date in person or on the phone.
“Don’t email or text to ask a woman out for the first time. The latter are impersonal, and dating is all about getting to know someone personally. It also sets a poor tone for the relationship’s communication dynamics.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist

2. While online dating, don’t push too quickly to meet in person.
“For most women, online dating involves a certain level of risk and anxiety so spend time getting to know her online and through phone and video chats before suggesting meeting in person to ensure she feels comfortable.” – Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist

3. Take initiative.
“When you’re talking or texting while planning the date, as the guy always have a time and place in mind. You never want to get into one of those exchanges like… ‘What do you want to do? Oh I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ Be confident and make a recommendation.” – Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert

4. Make your first few dates in public.
“Make your first few dates in public and drive separately to let the lady know making her feel safe is your top priority.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist

5. Take your date somewhere you’ll feel comfortable.
“You might think that you’re being a gentleman by letting your date decide where you go on your date, but women like to see that you can take control. Help cut through any nerves by arranging to meet up in familiar territory that will help you feel more comfortable.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist

6. Call her to confirm the date.
“Doctors and dentists do it; so should you. Since men usually don’t pick up the women they date, calling to confirm a date is pretty easy and puts the women at ease.” – Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert

7. Look your best.
“A lot of guys don’t think about how they look before going on dates, even though women pay attention to the little details related to appearance. Make sure you are well-groomed (check for dirty fingernails, freshly apply deodorant, shower). Second, make sure your clothes match, aren’t wrinkled, and look decent on you.” –David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man

8. Confidence is key.
“The way you enter a room or share a glance are indicators of your confidence working for you or against you. When you feel odd or awkward people can pick up on that uneasiness which will equate to whether or not you are perceived as attractive. One of the best ways to make a good first impression is by showing your confidence.” – Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker

9. Open doors and hold seats out.
“Women appreciate these old-school good manners. They also convey that you’re appreciative of her choosing to spend her time getting to know you.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist

10. Turn off your phone.
“There’s nothing more annoying then phones going off while you’re trying to spend quality time with someone. Turn your phone off completely. If she knows that you’ve turned your phone off to focus entirely on the date, she’ll appreciate that you’re taking the time to engage with her fully.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist

11. Keep the conversation fun and flirty.
“Since guys tend to be very analytical, it’s easy for them to turn conversations into a fact-sharing session. Women find conversations like this boring. It’s fine to share facts, but make sure to add in humor, intrigue, and flirtatious overtones. This will make her excitedly hang on your every word.” -David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man

12. Avoid the ex conversation.
“Your date will not be interested and it can make things feel awkward. If your date does bring up the subject, try to keep answers short. Reassure her that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know her instead.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist

13. Make your first few dates Action Dates.
“Most women aren’t dying to sit down for two hours to share a boring meal with a stranger, playing an awkward game of 20 questions. Instead, plan something more fun and adventurous. (Like bowling, hiking, kayaking.) Especially on the first few dates when impressions matter the most. Give them a date they’ll remember.”-David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man

14. Learn how to compliment.
“People put effort into getting ready for a date so take the time to compliment the other person and mean it! Not jus, ‘I like your dress’ but ‘I like how your dress brings out the color of your eyes.’ Always look for the best in others and it will bring out the best in you!”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker

15. Keep it light hearted.
“Try to keep your conversation light-hearted. On your first date, you don’t want to get into an in-depth conversation about why you don’t enjoy your job, or other issues. Avoid talking about religion, politics, or recent news that’s controversial. Women want a guy who can make them laugh. Yes you do have to be serious sometimes, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist

16. DO NOT talk about future plans during a first date.
“This is usually done out of lack of confidence hoping the girl wants to see you in the future. Women will feel this neediness. Just enjoy the date and if things go well, make future planes when you talk on the phone next.”– Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert

17. Leave a little mystery.
“When you are getting to know someone you do not want to lay all your cards out on the table or tell your entire life story. The sense of mystery keeps them coming back for more and creates a certain chemistry that will make you stand out from others.”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker

18. Offer to make sure she gets to her cab, car, or her next destination.
“Make sure she gets in her car, cab, etc. safely. Women’s safety is important, showing her that you care about her, shows her that you are a gentleman.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert

19. Let her take the first step towards physical/sexual contact.
“This will help her feel like you care about her and not just her body and help her feel safe and that she’s in control of the pace you’re moving without pressure.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist

20. Only say you will call her if you truly intend to.
“Women can handle rejection. More people complain about the flakiness and the ghosting. If you are not interested, don’t lead her on. After all, you never know if the next woman you date somehow knows her.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert

21. Don’t play games.
We get that you don’t want to seem needy, clingy, desperate, or overzealous. But if you’d like to see her again, just let her know. “You can weave it into the conversation at the end of the first date (e.g. ‘This was a great evening. Would you open to seeing each other again soon?’) If she says ‘yes’, then say, ‘Awesome. I’ll call you on ___ and set something up.’ Then follow through and call when you say you would.”- Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist

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How to Follow Up with a Woman You Just Met and Get a Date https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-men/how-to-follow-up-with-a-woman-you-just-met-and-get-a-date/ Mon, 21 Aug 2017 08:00:50 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=14991 “Hey Jen, we should get together later in the week.”
“Sure!”
“Great!”
“...”

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It was an exciting day because you did something new. You went out, built up the courage to say ‘hi’, and walked away with a woman’s number. Now the question is, how do you follow up to get a date? Knowing how to ask a woman out is a simple process, but one that gives a lot of guys anxiety. And as simple as it is, most guys get this part wrong and end up missing out on a great opportunity to go out with a great person.

As long as you approach women the right way, following up with a text message should be the easiest part. Surprisingly though, texting seems to be one of the things men have the hardest time with. 

When following up with a woman to get a first date, or even a second date, here are some things to keep in mind.

Have something to say
If you text a woman with “Hey, how’s it going?” it doesn’t leave much for her to respond to. You’re going to get a response like “Good,” which doesn’t lead to anything significant. This is setting yourself up to do more work in order to make a conversation happen. To make it easier on yourself (and the woman you’re speaking with) always ask questions that can’t be answered with a single word.

Don’t act shy about asking for a date
It doesn’t pay to be shy now that you’re trying to set up the first date. Overcome shyness by practicing assertiveness and getting to the point. She already knows why you’re messaging—that was the point of talking to her in the first place—so make it painless by letting her know what you want.

Don’t ask
Ok, so how exactly does a guy ask out a woman without asking her a question? The answer is simple—use statements. Instead of saying, “Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?” phrase it as, “Let’s grab a coffee sometime.” It comes across more assertively and sounds confident. It’s no Jedi mind trick, but being assertive is attractive to women. Making this small change will have an affect on how potential dates respond to you, and how you feel about yourself. Confidence is an asset.

Don’t “Game” Her
This seems to be more of a problem for younger guys who’ve learned a warped version of dating. Although social skills are crucial, trying to be a psychologist who’s pressing different buttons to get a reaction out of woman (or anyone for that matter) will make you come across as fake. Because it is fake. This is one area where being yourself rings true. Don’t play games and be open about your interest.

Don’t wait too long
The ‘three day rule’ is one of the worst dating ideas ever. I understand why a lot of guys follow it though. It’s an attempt to not look needy. Maybe it’s too obvious to mention, but the best way to not look needy is by eliminating neediness. This comes back to your character, and your character guides your behavior. Neediness is a good sign that your have something to work on. Aside from making you seem needy, waiting too long to send her a message creates a cooling off period. Life’s busy, and she’s going to forget what she felt when you talked to her those three days ago. Other guys are going to show up too, and your odds of keeping her interest are going to go down. To avoid cooling things off, message the same day you met. Even if you don’t meet until later in the week, the momentum will still be there.

Ask her out on the first message
If you got her number then she’s already going to be interested in meeting you. Texting her to get into a back and forth conversation isn’t necessary. This is something a lot of passive guys will have trouble with. It feels too quick to them, but it’s really just a hidden worry about being turned down. When assertiveness isn’t exercised, it will feel awkward. She knows why you got her number so now all you need to do is ask her out.

Don’t try to be funny
Humor is great when done properly. When it’s not done well, it can be a big turn off. Save the jokes for your date. It isn’t necessary in the text and you don’t want to accidentally send mixed messages because you told a joke that didn’t hit its mark. Having said that, some guys are good at funny texting and won’t have a problem with it. Make sure you’re one of them before cracking too many jokes. 

Take the lead
I’ve seen a lot of guys lose opportunities because they left their potential date hanging. It often goes like this:

“Hey Jen, we should get together later in the week.”
“Sure! Let’s do that.”
“Great!”
“……”

When you ask someone out make sure to be specific and decisive. Don’t wait for her to suggest a spot or activity. She’s already interested, so after you find out which day works for both of you, suggest the time and place.

Follow up  texting
So your date is set for the end of the week, should you send a follow-up text to keep her interest? The vast majority of the time this isn’t necessary. Texting too much can be overbearing for someone you’ve just met. It’s also a major distraction for yourself, especially if you’re a busy man. This doesn’t mean you can’t text at all though. Just let her initiate the conversation if she feels like chatting.

Confirm the date
Showing up for a date that the other person forgets is definitely not a good feeling. This is why a confirmation text the day of your date is always a good idea. Especially if the date was set up more than four days earlier. When you follow up assume that she’s still coming. Don’t ask her, “Are you still OK for tomorrow?” This comes across as insecure because it sounds like you’re either worried or don’t believe she’ll actually come. Instead, say “Hey Charlotte, I’ll be outside of the Starbucks tomorrow at 6. See you then.” All you have to do is mention where you’ll be and at what time.

Avoid texting pitfalls
One of the reasons I recommend not using too much humor or having long conversations over text in the beginning is because it’s easy to misinterpret. An unintentional tonality can be interpreted and result in a loss of interest. When you’re texting, you’re missing out on body language, eye contact, and your voice. It’s also much easier to recover in person if something isn’t communicated right the first time.

Don’t forget that having a conversation over text or through a dating app isn’t your main goal. Messaging should be used as a way to start things off then organize meeting up with someone in real life. Once you’ve gone out a couple times, texting more often makes sense. However, in the early stages it’s best to have your interactions in person.

There’s nothing wrong with a little personality via text, but save most of it for when you see each other. That’s where the real chemistry happens.

 

For more information about how to overcome shyness or to learn about confidence coaching, check out Eddy’s articles How to Overcome Shyness and Confidence Coaching.

Eddy is a dating and personal development coach who specializes in building confidence. He helps guys crush personal obstacles to become the kind of men that women desire and men respect. Contact Eddy to learn about confidence coaching for life and dating.

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How to Ask a Girl Out: Examples of Exactly What to Say https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-men/how-to-ask-a-girl-out/ Mon, 14 Aug 2017 08:00:49 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=14952 It's easier than you think.

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Approaching a woman you’re interested in and taking the step to actually ask her out on a date can be a daunting task. Often, you’re so caught up in talking and things are going well but it’s hard to steer the conversation in the right direction. To help you do it right, Marni from The Wing Girl Method has a few tips on how to ask a girl out and examples to show you exactly what to say.

Video Transcript:

Hey daters, I made this video just for you. My name is Marni, owner of The Wing Girl Method, and from here on out, I am going to be your very own personal wing girl, which means it’s my job to explain women to you and breakdown all the frustrating, confusing, and mind-boggling things that we do. And, I’ll also tell you what to do to get the women you want using my insider resources.

Today, I wanted to answer a question that I got from Daniel about asking a girl out. Daniel writes…

Marni, there’s this girl that I’ve been chatting with online for about a month now, how do I move things to the next level and ask her out? And, are there ways that I could do it that could backfire on me? Any help you could give would be great. Thank you, Wing Girl. 

Daniel, I’m going to answer the second part of that question first. Are there ways that you could ask her out that could totally backfire on you? The answer is yes, and I’m sure that you’re doing what I’m talking about right now. The wrong way to do it is to not do it at all, and that’s exactly what you’re doing. Do you know what’s going to happen with this little pen pal of yours? She’s going to get frustrated that you haven’t pulled the trigger yet and start wondering things like, “Is he gay? Does he not like me? Is he fresh off of a breakup and just wants distractions?” Then, she’s going to start pulling away and putting her eggs into other baskets, where there’s actual potential to start cooking and making some good omelets. Instead of ending up with a dry, weathered-up rotten egg like you. You are currently committing the number 1 cardinal online sin: You’re not moving the virtual connection to the real world. And therefore, it’s always going to remain in this world. Good thing is, you still have time to save it. She’s still talking to you and hoping things will progress. So next time you message her, make sure that something within that message resembles an invite to finally meet in-person.

Now, for the second question—How do you ask her out?
Well, there are a few ways. There’s cute, direct, assertive, confident… Okay, there are a lot more than a few ways. But, at the core of every invite, you must be specific, clear with your intent, and confident in your request. Here are a few ways that you could do it..

Example 1:

“My fingers are starting to get blisters from all this typing. To avoid serious infection and possible amputation, I think it’s best if we take this offline and meet in-person so I can flirt with you in real life. What are you doing Wednesday night?”

Example 2:

“I am going to x this Friday. Would you care to join me?”

Example 3:

“You’ve never had Indian food? Well then, we have to get you some. There’s this great place by me that I go to a lot. I want to take you there. Are you free this Thursday?”

See how all of these examples are clear and specific? There’s no room for misinterpretation as to what you’re asking for. It’s very clear. I’ve had guys say to me, “Want to hang out sometime?” It’s said as if they’ve already been rejected and have no faith in themselves that I would ever say yes. Which makes it a hard thing to say yes to unless I really like the guy. Even though, asking a girl out this way doesn’t guarantee she’s going to say yes, it will guarantee that she knows what she’s being asked, and will be attracted to how it’s done.

So Daniel, to wrap-up this little lesson, no more waiting a month to get offline and ask a girl out. Once a connection is made and it’s clear there’s something there, move things out of the virtual world in to the real world. Do it confidently, be specific about what you want, and do not second-guess that she will say yes. And I promise, you will get way more yeses than nos.

For more tips on how to approach and ask women out, go to winggirlmethod.com, or check out my other videos on YouTube. I’m Marni, your very own personal wing girl and owner of The Wing Girl Method, and I’ll see you soon.

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