Dating Advice for Men – The Date Mix Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters Sun, 18 Mar 2018 08:00:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 33 Online Dating Tips for Men (from Women) Tue, 13 Mar 2018 08:00:50 +0000 A fun collection of short but sweet tips from women who are online dating.

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As the editor of a dating magazine, I see a lot of dating tips from a lot of different sources. Whether it’s experts in psychology and relationships, dating coaches, a bartender, best-selling authors, or someone’s best friend, some of the best dating and relationship advice comes from the most unlikely of places. But sometimes, it helps to got to the most likely place too… In this case, straight to the source. If you’re looking for some good online dating tips for men, why not ask other women who are online dating what tips they would give you?

To help out we surveyed over 3,000 women on the online dating site and app Zoosk and asked what their top online dating tips for men are. What we got was some great insight and some short, but sweet tips men can start using right away.

Here are their 33 online dating tips for men: 

1. “Be honest from the beginning! Kindness truly is hot, so if you’re trying to impress a woman, that’s an excellent place to start.”

2. “Don’t just say hi, personalize your message at least a little. You don’t have to write a novel, but a couple of sentences so that I know you’re aren’t just fishing helps a lot.”

3. “When you take a picture for your profile, make sure we can see your eyes.”

4. “Like, winks, etc. are how women give you the signal to message them.”

5. “If you’re chatting with me and we have a lot in common and you like me, let me know. I want to move forward to see if we should meet.”

6. “Don’t use the word drama in your profile. Life is full of ups and downs—that’s what gives life color and depth. Using that word makes the assumption that women are the only ones that are involved in drama.”

7. “Smile! (I’m always amazed at how many men have pictures of them frowning or not smiling.)”

8. “With online dating, you need to find the right balance between chatting online and having real-life experiences. If you go too long chatting, you can turn into a pen pal.”

9. “Have a good, recent photo. Don’t have pictures of your cars or other trophies and don’t crop out former significant others and leave behind a hand on your shoulder.”

10. “Don’t limit yourself to finding true love in a 5 mile radius. Your soulmate may live further away than that.”

11. “Say something! Don’t keep sending hearts or smiley faces.”

12. “When approaching a woman, don’t start out with a compliment on her physical appearance, or just say hi or hey. Comment on something in her picture, but not her looks, or comment on something in her profile that caught your eye.”

13. “You aren’t trying to impress another man, you’re trying to impress a woman, which means, you might have to show a softer side. A slimy fish photo might not be the best thing to use in your profile.”

14. “Don’t start out by calling a woman sweetie or beautiful. Until you get to know someone that comes off as just another line.”

15. “Start a general conversation and go from there.”

16. “Don’t talk too much about yourself at first. Ask about her.”

17. “Be kind, be understanding, and above all be yourself.”

18. “Always end your conversations with a question to show you’re interested and want to continue talking.”

19. “Be strong and confident enough to know what you want and go for it.”

20. “Don’t text or email excessively. Exchange a few messages then ask about meeting. Coffee or a drink is best.”

21. “Asking for more photos is a turn off. Don’t do it.”

22. “Get to know her, and what she likes and dislikes. You want to build a friendship with her that builds up your relationship.”

23. “Make the first move by saying something fun and/or interesting.”

24. “Women are just as nervous and scared as men. Just talk to us like you would anyone else.”

25. “Take good pictures, ask me questions to get to know me better, make me laugh, and be open.”

26. “Never walk away from a conversation even if it’s online. Just tell her you have to go and talk later.”

27. “Be yourself from the very beginning. When you try to impress someone, your true self gets lost and that might be what the other person really wants.”

28. “Don’t be afraid to tell a woman how you really feel about something. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion and she will appreciate the honesty.”

29. “Give her a second chance if she’s shy.”

30. “Talk and chat like you’re hanging out with a friend at first.”

31. “Don’t look at a woman’s dating profile a million times and say nothing. Even hi is good if you’re at a loss for what to say.”

32. “Consider someone you might not usually be attracted to.”

33. “Approach online dating with an open heart. Everyone is a new person.”

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7 Things Women Do When You’re Coming On Too Strong Mon, 05 Mar 2018 09:00:18 +0000 A few of the things women do when they're not on the same page as you.

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Many of us have heard the term, “coming on too” strong but it’s hard to identify what it actually looks like when you’re out there trying to meet someone. For me, coming on too strong means that the way you’re acting, either through your words, texting, constant contact, eagerness to make plans, or quickness to commit, is out of sync with the way the woman you’re trying to date is acting.

Basically, it’s when what you’re doing isn’t in line with what she wants from you. Because of that, even if you have the best of intentions, your eagerness comes across as too much for her. Which is a nice way of saying, you may be creeping the heck out her and she can’t handle it.

As a wing girl to hundreds of thousands of men all around the world, I get to see tons of examples of guys being too strong in their approach with women. It always bothers me because I also get to see the awesome men underneath, whose behaviors are messing up their chances of being with some wonderful women. With the guys I work with, their behavior is often so out of character when compared with the men I know they are. It makes me feel for them but it also drives me nuts.

Because, on the flip side, I am a woman.

I’ve experienced this too strong behavior from men while dating and if I’m being honest, it does not feel good. It feels heavy and scary and intense… all the things that I instantly want to get away from.

I would be nice if I would say to these men, “I know that this behavior is not really who you are but could you please not come on so strong? It makes me feel very uncomfortable and is really turning me off. You don’t even know me yet.” But most likely I won’t do that. And most women won’t either. I’m human and therefore when a man comes on too strong, I may not confront it head on. Instead, I find other ways to address it. And so do other woman. So how do you know if what you’re doing is causing a woman to want to run away?

Here’s a list of seven things women do when you’re coming on too strong:

IF she just met you and isn’t invested in any kind of relationship yet:

1. She’ll ghost you.
Ghosting is the new Facebook—it’s what everyone is doing and using to avoid reality. Ghosting is when a woman acts as if she’s died on you, hence the ghosting because she no longer seems to exist in your world. When a woman disappears, it’s one of the signs you’ve come on too strong. It’s also a sign that she wasn’t feeling it with you in the first place and instead of being a big girl and telling you, she chose to simply not deal with it

2. She’ll kindly tell you to go away.
If you’re approaching a woman for the first time, whether it’s in person or online, and coming on to strong she may politely tell you that she’s not into what you’re putting out there. For example she may say something like, “I wish you luck on your search. I don’t think this will work.” Or in person, she may say, “Me and my friends haven’t seen each other in so long so we’d really like just catch up.”

IF she’s gone on one date with you:

3. She’ll continue to make plans and then cancel.
If you’re coming on too strong, a woman will continue to agree to plans with you but then cancel last minute. She may even continue to offer up alternative options but will cancel on those plans as well. She’s doing this because she’s trying to be polite and not rattle things. If you’re this strong in your emotions and actions when you like her, she’s probably worried what you’ll be like if she breaks your heart or expresses disinterest.

4. She’ll delay her responses.
When a woman takes a day and a half to get back to you it’s a huge sign that you need to slow your roll and back off a bit. I always advise men to mirror a woman’s responses. It’s a way to avoid coming on to strong and will make her feel like you’re on the same page.

5. She’ll send you simple, short responses.
A woman doesn’t want to entice a man she’s not interested in but she also doesn’t want to be rude. Therefore, she’ll keep responding to you, probably at a very slow pace, but all messages will be short, sweet, to the point, and void of any emotions.

IF she’s invested and likes you:

6. She’ll pull away.
I remember this one guy that I dated a long time. When I first met him, I really liked him—I liked how he acted, I like how I felt around him. Overall, I liked most things about him and was excited to get into a relationship with him. But as soon he started getting a little too eager and moving things fast, I pulled away. His desire to race into things so fast had me questioning my feelings for him. I kept thinking, “He likes me sooo much more than I like him. Do I even like him?”

7. She’ll tell you that you’re being too intense.
This is the most mature reaction a woman can have when a man’s coming on too strong and hopefully the one that she’ll use the most, especially if she’s invested in you. A mature woman will simply tell you that she’s not on the same page as you and needs things to slow down and not be so intense.

If any of these are happening to you, it’s time to take a look in the mirror, examine your behavior, and see if you’re coming on too strong. Go back and look at your text messages or emails to women and read them to yourself as if a stranger was writing to you—Would you find them too intense?

Next time you approach and get any of the responses that I listed up above, pause, breathe, and then ask the woman you’re with, “Am I coming on to strong?” in a curious, sincere way and see what she says.

The first step is recognizing what you’re doing. Then you can shift your behaviors and the way you approach woman it so that you’re no longer the eager, needy pouncer that comes on too strong and scares women away. Instead, you’ll a give the woman you’re with a chance to get to you know and your real character. Not the character of the ‘guy in pursuit’, but who you really are.


Marni is the founder of The Wing Girl Method and a wing girl to hundreds of thousands of men around the world. She teaches men how to attract, date, and get any girl they want. Learn more by visiting her site The Wing Girl Method

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Quiz: Ok Guys, What Type of Dater Are You? Tue, 30 Jan 2018 09:00:16 +0000 Are you an almost boyfriend or the real deal? Take this quiz based on author Jenna Birch's newest book to find out.

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6 Ways Men and Women Need to Change the Way They Date in 2018 Sun, 28 Jan 2018 09:00:35 +0000 Ways men and women can approach their relationships as equals.

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You don’t need to be a data scientist to recognize that the dating game has changed beyond recognition. We’re meeting more people online than ever before, but the surplus of choices has made people flakier, and in some ways it’s harder to actually go on a date. In addition, women are becoming more empowered and men aren’t always sure how to connect with them in a way that is both attractive and respectful. If you’re single in 2018, now’s a good time to take a new approach to love—one that’s a bit more modern and better suited to this bold new world of dating.

As a dating coach I have a theory that the old dating rules we used to live by are holding both men and women back from connecting with each other. So instead of giving you more rules about what you should and shouldn’t do, I want to show you six ways men and women can approach dating differently.

Three ways men should approach dating differently…

1. Only pursue women who show interest in you.
Guys have often been told that it’s their job to make all the first moves—things like asking someone out, setting up dates, or being the pursuer have long been considered so-called man’s work. But I’ve noticed this creates a few big problems with the men I work with. For one, they often aren’t selecting women based on the women’s interest in building a relationship with them. (AKA, the men can be so focused on the chase, that they aren’t being choosy enough about who they’re chasing.) Sending unanswered message after unanswered message without considering what a women’s silence shows about her interest in dating you isn’t good for the man or women. Apart from the critical importance of being able to accept a no, it’s also important for men to pursue women who make an effort to make time for them. Don’t you want to be with someone who’s excited and interested in you? Yes!

Guys—You need to stop thinking that a woman is playing hard to get and tripping over yourself to win her over. Instead, look for women who respond back quickly, who write longer messages asking you questions, and who don’t repeatedly cancel dates. Choose women who know what they’re looking for and who show genuine interest in you.

2. Be more selective.
Choosiness and being selective about who they date is advice that women often get that men should listen to as well. No woman wants to be asked out just because you think she’s hot—this sends the message that you don’t respect the women for who she is as a person and also suggests that you don’t hold high standards for the people you spend time with. There are a lot of people out there for you, so have an idea of the types of qualities you want in a women. Having standards makes you more attractive and keeps you focused on who the women you’re with are as people, not just how great they look in a picture.

3. Uphold your own boundaries.
You and your date are equally responsible for controlling the pace of the relationship. If you feel that the relationship is moving too fast (Woah! Did she just leave her toothbrush in my bathroom?!) or too slow (If we only ever meet every two weeks how are we going to build this up?) you need to communicate that the pace isn’t working for you. Communicating your boundaries is one way to express how you expect to be treated and how you view the relationship. Without this communication you could find yourself six months down the line in a relationship that you’re not 100% on board with—and that’s when you feel the need to back pedal. No one likes back-pedalling so it’s actually easier and more respectful to communicate how you’re feeling in the moment. It could be saying something like, I noticed you left your toothbrush over and although this isn’t easy for me to say, I felt a little uncomfortable because I need to take some time to get to know someone before they begin consistently staying over. Or I noticed we’re only able to catch up every couple of weeks. I know we’re both busy but I’d like to get to know you better.

Men and women’s roles in the ritual of dating aren’t so clearly defined as they were 50 years ago—And, you can disagree with me, but I think this is a good thing! And it’s not just the guys who have something to learn.

Three ways women should approach dating differently…

1. Be more proactive.
One day your Prince will come? Well… if you’re a little tired of waiting don’t assume a guy has to make all the first moves. Online dating data has shown that women who make the first move are more successful at getting what they want. For example, women who send a message asking a man to dinner, drinks or lunch get 73% more responses than the average. This is a clear indicator that instead of a man longing for the chase, they’re usually quite relieved to have a woman who is a direct communicator. If you see a cute guy’s profile don’t be afraid to send that first message. As I explain in my dating training for women I’m also a huge fan of women making the first move offline as well. It can be as simple as a smile, standing closer to the guy, or saying, Hi, do you mind passing me that menu? I’m never quite sure whether to go for a juice or some wine after work. Being open and giving people the opportunity to connect with you is smart: don’t rely on just dating the guys that make the first move on you.

2. Enjoy the moment you’re in.
If you think that guys send mixed signals this is because (surprise!) they may not have worked out how they see things progressing with you—at least not yet. Men tend to approach dating in a way that’s more experiential, to see how things go. Give yourself time to connect with and explore how the guys you date fit into your life rather than going straight into boyfriend or relationship mode with everyone. Building trust, a connection, and an understanding of what someone is about all takes time. So slow down and enjoy getting to know someone before you start planning your future together.

3. Be clear about what you do and don’t want.
It can feel more polite to gradually drop out of contact with someone instead of making it clear that you’re not interested in dating them. But in the age of ghosting, I think we can all agree that clarity is best. If you know you don’t feel a connection with a man let him down in a way that is kind but also very clear. Ditch the messages like Maybe when work’s calmed down or I’ll check my schedule and get back to you. It’s harder but more respectful and far better in the long run to send a message that says, Hey, thank you for taking the time to meet me last night. I wanted to be upfront with you (and you probably feel the same) that I didn’t feel that connection when we met up but wanted to wish you well.

The dating game may always be changing but in 2018 it’s more important than ever for men and women to enter as equals. As individuals we all need to focus on building respect, clear communication, and taking responsibility for our own happiness.


To learn more about Hayley’s approach to dating check our her free video mini course for men and her free video mini course for women.

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Online Dating Tips for Men: Choosing Your Profile Photos Sun, 07 Jan 2018 09:00:24 +0000 Should you add a group photo?

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It’s a new year and a new you. So why not start with a new profile picture to make the right impression? Guys, here are some online dating tips on how to choose the right pictures for your profile.

There are so many things to consider when you’re picking your profile pictures. Do you smile? Do you show yourself with friends? Should you include photos with your female friends?

Luckily, there’s a science to all this and someone already did the research. Researchers from Queen Mary University of London looked at 86 studies around psychology, sociology, behavioral science, and other fields applicable to dating in the Internet era to come home with some helpful tips.

Here’s what they found:

1. Mimic profiles you find attractive. 
A lot of people will say use a good photo. But what exactly does that mean? It’s whatever you want to see in a potential partner. Researchers say you should browse profiles, find people you think are attractive, and mirror their profiles.

That’s not to say use the exact same clothes with the exact same background. But according to researchers, people are attracted to profiles that are like themselves.

2. Be you.
If you’ve ever browsed dating profiles with friends, you’ve probably come across someone staring into the camera with eyes that show little or no emotion. That’s definitely something you should avoid doing.

Instead, go for an attractive and genuine photo. According to researchers, a smile “that crinkles up your eyes,” is seen as more genuine. But, essentially, photos that show you in a happy environment and makes you seem fun to be around do best. It could be from your birthday when you and the boys had a great time at a bar. Or from a recent holiday trip you took with family.

3. Add in a group photo.
The selfie is acceptable, but you shouldn’t limit yourself. There is always a debate about whether to use group photos in a dating profile. But now it’s over. According to the research, if your photos show other people having a good time with you, that increases your desirability.

But make sure it’s obvious who you are. Too often, people are left wondering which one is you. And if you crop people out of the photos, do it tastefully so people don’t think you’re hiding anything.

Another thing to consider is including photos of yourself at the center of a group— where you lead the eye. It gives you a sense of importance that people find attractive.

4. Photos with female friends can actually help you out. 
Research shows that women find men more attractive when they see other women smiling at them. Just make it clear that they’re your friends. And it’s probably best to use a photo with more than one woman so it doesn’t look like an ex. I can’t tell you how many times female friends have showed me dating profile photos with cut-off faces or an arm in the corner. They usually say something like, “That’s probably his ex,” before moving on to the next person.

5. Don’t make it about the photo.
As powerful as a photo can be in making you an appealing first date, it’s not everything. The rest of your profile matters and the researchers aren’t shy about saying that.

You need to use several strategies at once (updating your description, sending personal messages, staying on the ball when it comes to replying) to have a great profile that will help you stand out.

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Why Women Like a Man with Confidence Sat, 07 Oct 2017 08:00:31 +0000 "How do you become more confident? You become more confident by doing."

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Ever wonder why women find a confident man so attractive? Marni Kinrys from The Wing Girl Method explains her views about why women are attracted to confident men and why it’s so important.

Video Transcript:

Hey, my name is Marni and from here on out I am going to be your very own Wing Girl. That means it’s my job to tell you everything you need to know about women. So you can attract, date, and get the women you want.

Confidence. How freaking annoying is that word? It’s what you constantly hear everyone telling you that women find most attractive. But what the hell does it actually mean? How does one even become confident and why is it so freaking attractive to women? Let’s tackle the last question first because that’s the most important one, right? Why is confidence so freaking attractive to women? It’s attractive because as a woman I want to be attached to the man that provides me with the highest chance of keeping me alive. Sorry, I know I just took you back to the cave days by going all biological and evolutionary on you. But, you have to think of things in that way to truly understand why women go gaga over confidence. David Buss, writer of The Evolution of Attraction or Desire, (I totally forget), a professor of evolutionary psychology, and past guest of my popular podcast, What She Wants (available on iTunes) has stated that women are most attracted to attributes that bring them closer to resources that will guarantee optimal survival. Now I know some of you trolls and bitter men out there who will be writing nasty things on my comment wall after this video will take in that information to mean that all women are just money-hungry, but I assure you that’s not what it means. Even though we are no longer living in the cave days and daily threat of death is no longer an issue, survival and surviving well is still a thing. And those around us that seemingly have attributes like good health, wealth, intelligence, social status, friendship circles, and character are people that we want to attach ourselves to.

On a non-evolutionary level, but an emotional level, women are attracted to men with confidence because we innately feel that these men will be able to take care of us no matter what happens. A confident man will know what restaurant to go to, he’ll know how to take care of us in the bedroom, he’ll know what to do if there’s danger, he’ll know how to handle my emotions, he’ll know how to take care of me, which in turn will make me want to take care of him. Simply put, confident men do. And they do it well. Being around a man who knows what to do is intoxicating.

Since we’re on a sciencey path (talking about evolution), I wanted to share something really interesting with you. There are stats from the team at Zoosk, one of the leading online dating sites. They found that men with the words, “maybe”, “sort of”, “kind of”, and “not sure” in their profile in opening messages, got 25% less attention online. These stats show that women are not only turned on by men with higher confidence, they’re actually repulsed with men with lower confidence. Which leads me to answer one of the other questions I asked at the start of this video. How do you become more confident? You become more confident by doing. Ask for her number even if she potentially could say no. Ask for a date even if you could be rejected. Go for the kiss even if you might land on her cheek. My point is to start going for it and being okay with it if things don’t go the way you want. Just doing and going for what you want when you want it is going to grow your confidence.

For more tips and exercises that will help you boost your confidence quickly and easily, go to and check out how to become a man women want. Or, you can keep watching my videos on YouTube.

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