Tinder Icebreakers and Strategies That Get Replies

A woman reading Tinder icebreakers who's about to message a man back.

Nothing makes you feel less confident than a losing streak on Tinder. If you’re getting plenty of matches but zero replies, the problem is likely your opening line strategy. Guys who have the most luck with responses always ace the first message. Want to know their secret?

The trick is to get more creative with your Tinder icebreakers. This approach lets the woman feel special—not like you carelessly contacted 20 other women with the same “how are you” text.

Here are some effective strategies for Tinder icebreakers:

1. Make it personal.
Personalized openers get the most attention. It shows you took the time to read her profile, instead of just skimming through her pics. She’ll feel like you’re more genuine, which will make her less likely to ignore you.

“Hey, you’re also a dog lover? Maybe we should get the dogs together for a date. The owners can tag along too ;)”

This opener is successful because it shows an interest in the things she cares about (dogs), while also creating the opportunity to meet (in a non-creepy way). Overall, the tone is light-hearted and charming—a winner!

“Love that you’re into science! Looks like I met a fellow nerd. How’s your day going?”

The guy here is immediately establishing something in common and also shows off his funny personality. Humor is an excellent tool for building attraction and rapport. 

2. Tease her a little.
Innocent teasing can work like gold. But once again, make it personal; you can target the joke to reference an activity in her picture or something she wrote in her profile description. On a psychological level, this type of teasing makes her feel like you have a connection already because you’re acting like an old friend. If it works, the flirting will start instantly.

“Well hello there, someone looks like they write a fashion blog. Maybe you can take me shopping lol.”

We love this opener because it keeps the teasing light, plus it implies a compliment. Then, it follows up with the possibility of meeting for an activity that she’ll obviously enjoy— clever.

3. Surprise her.
Unexpected wins every time. And no, we’re not referring to those surprise selfies of your nether-regions; we mean the kind that excites her mentally. To create that first spark, ask her a random challenge question.

“Peanut butter or jelly?”

Quirky and friendly, this question offers a childlike way of getting to know her. She’ll feel amused and provoked to join your silliness.

“Camping or restaurant?”

This version adds a little more pressure because it seems like you’ll be judging her answer. However, it can work well for girls who need an opener that creates more challenge. Secretly, she’ll want to respond to see if you approve.

4. Make a bold move.
If you’re serious about meeting, don’t be afraid to start with a bold move. Many guys are worried about coming off too aggressive, but there’s a huge difference between harassment and simply saying you’re down to meet. If you sense that there may be chemistry with her, go ahead and get right to the point. She may be impressed that you’re not just another time-waster.

“Let’s plan a date and save the questions for in-person.”

This example shows you’re confident and assertive but still respectful. It also creates curiosity, letting her wonder what makes you so smooth.

5. Self-complement.
Girls have a love-hate relationship with this type of opener. When a guy compliments her while also complimenting himself, it can suggest cockiness. Yet for others, this opening line can be intriguing. Just be careful about which girl you use it with; women of a more mature age may ignore this cheeky approach, but others may enjoy a little ego display. Use your discretion.

You look like the type I’d settle down with”

This guy cleverly compliments himself by hinting that he’s picky about which women he deems to be marriage material. He elevates his own image, but also makes her feel valued. This type of message is rarely ignored.

There’s no exact science when it comes to Tinder icebreakers. You still need to consider the individual woman, scope out her profile and decide which method would trigger her interest. It’s not one-size-fits all.

Rachel Esco

Freelance Writer

Rachel is a lifestyle blogger, based in Toronto, who specializes in dating and relationships. Her articles have been featured in publications, including “Huffington Post”, “Life Hacker” and “Women’s Post”.

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