Is He the One? 5 Questions to Ask Yourself

A couple holding hands on the beach.

1. Do you feel secure?

When you are with the right person, it’s hard to imagine him or her being with anyone else. You don’t worry when your partner is out late or bumps into an ex, because you know—with certainty—that you are together.

2. Do you share similar values?

Having a partner who wants the same things out of life is an important factor for long-term success.  For example, if you’re interested in world travel whereas your partner is more interested in starting a family, you will inevitably encounter some big problems. However, if you both value similar things—lifestyle, family, career—your relationship is more likely to endure.

3. Do you put each other first?

If your partner’s opinions and feelings are a big part of your decision making by default, you’re already living as an “us” instead of living as a “part” of a relationship. When you both derive satisfaction from making each other happy, you’re well on your way to building a fantastic future together.

4. If you fight, do you seek real solutions and make up quickly?

If fighting is less about being right and more about solving problems and improving the relationship, you’re on the right track.

5. Do you feel comfortable doing mundane things together?

In life, there’s a lot of downtime between the fun stuff. Are you with someone who enjoys being with you at the grocery store, at your grandparent’s house, at the DMV? If so, you can relax. Stop asking yourself, Is he the one? or Is she the one? You’re with a long-term prospect. You’ve got this.

Joan Actually

Dating Expert

Joan is a writer and dating expert.

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