Dating in Your 30s – The Date Mix https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters Fri, 15 Dec 2017 09:00:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5 What Men in Their 30s Want in a Woman https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-in-your-30s/men-in-their-30s-want-women/ Mon, 06 Nov 2017 19:39:21 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15509 More so than men of other ages, guys in their 30s are interested in kids and family.

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Men in their 30s can be an interesting bunch—they’re old enough to have a good idea of what they want from a relationship but are young enough that they may still be exploring their options and playing the field. But what do men in their 30s really want in a woman?

It’s easy to make assumptions but to get some real answers, we turned to the popular online dating site Zoosk. They looked through thousands of profiles of men in their 30s to see what words they mention most often when describing what they’re looking for in a romantic interest and even talked to a few to get their insights.

What they found may surprise you…

What Men In Their 30s Want In a Woman
The Top 17 Words Mentioned While Describing Their Perfect Match

  1. fun
  2. honest
  3. laugh
  4. humor
  5. funny
  6. nice
  7. sense of humor
  8. smile
  9. caring
  10. open
  11. loving
  12. smart
  13. kids
  14. down to earth
  15. happy
  16. family
  17. to have fun

Men in their 30s value a fun women with a sense of humor.
The most popular characteristic for men in their 30s is fun. And a lot of the top words they used to describe the type of person they were looking for were similar in nature such as laugh, humor, funny, sense of humor, and to have fun. 

“One of the first things I enjoy, is a women who knows how to flirt,” explained one man. “Especially if we can make each other laugh in the process. If we start out on the right track with a little bit of flirting, I know we have chemistry.”

But they’re not just about fun, they want someone honest too.
Though they may be looking for a women they can flirt and have a good time with, men in their 30s also value honesty. So much so that it was the second most popular trait. Other popular phrases included caring, loving, and nice.

“I like women that act really nice and have a good heart as well as a good head on their shoulders,” said one man.

Family and kids are important to men in their 30s.
More so than any other age, men in their 30s mention family and kids while describing what they want in a potential partner. “I’m looking for a woman that cares about her family above anything else,” explained one man.

Men in their 30s want a woman who’s smart. 
Another popular trait among men in their 30s was smart. They aren’t just looking for a pretty face but someone who’s going to challenge them and who they can have a conversation with. “When a women can have a conversation with you and her eyes never leave yours, they have that confident, intelligent, sincere twinkle… I would walk over hot coals for that type of women,” said one dater.

In many ways men in their 30s are the sweet spot of dating—they’re still young enough to want to have a good time and be with someone fun, but are old enough to know that they want more than that.

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Single Life in Your 30s https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-in-your-30s/single-life-30s/ Thu, 31 Aug 2017 08:00:37 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15032 Why being single and 30, might be one of the best times of your life.

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A lot of people will try to tell you that being single past your 20s should raise concern. They’ll remind you of your biological clock, they will say that your standards are too high, and they’ll even take a stab at crushing your dreams of finding that one-of-a-kind relationship. But single life in your 30s isn’t everything people say it is. 

Many articles warn that the dating odds don’t work in favor of those in their 30s, but the fact is that millennial marriage rates are dropping across the board and your 30s may actually be the best time to look for someone. 

In light of all the external pressure that you may feel to jump into a relationship, we put together a list of all the absolutely awesome things about single life in your 30s.

1. People don’t ask about your dating life as much.
By 30, you’ve made it past the threshold where all your family expects from you is to settle down. Instead, you have a lot more going on they can ask about and seeing you in a relationship becomes more of a latent wish. Sure, they’ll wonder why you haven’t found someone who wants to commit, but at least there will be no more dodging questions about failed relationships or “that nice person from church.”

2. You’re a little less poor.
Relationships are expensive. You spend money on gifts, dates, and everything in between. When you’re single, you’re basically cutting your expenses in half, which gives you more money to put towards other things, like your student loans or that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try.

3. You’re at the peak of the freedom curve.
There’s a sweet spot right in the middle of life when your parents can no longer tell you what to do, professors have no power over you, and there’s no partner in your life to demand things like sacrifice and compromise. If you’re single in your 30s, you are right in the midst of that glorious time. Try not to take it for granted.

4. You make the rules.
Your 20s taught you some valuable lessons. Now, you get to map out the direction of your life with some knowledge under your belt. You get to make the rules with no one around to alter them in any way. So, eat that dessert, stay out late, dance with everyone in the nightclub. What you’re experiencing is the epitome of freedom. Relish it before someone comes along and starts asking you to share your last bite of food.

5. You’re only accountable for yourself.
Let’s be honest—life is hard. You have to balance waking up on time, eating balanced meals, getting all your work done, making time for friends, and getting enough sleep. Imagine doing this times two: that’s a relationship. Right now, you have the opportunity to do all those weird things you only do when no one else is around. Get them out of your system before someone starts crowding your personal space.

6. You get to keep that single figure.
Relationship duration is directly correlated with increased waist size (it’s science). It’s easy to get comfortable, start eating out more, spend less time at the gym, and, subsequently, rack up ten extra pounds. But not you, you’ve dodged that bullet (for now). You hold onto that single figure as long as you possibly can.

7. You’re the enviable friend.
During a period when most of your friends will spend their time splurging on weddings, chasing after babies, and figuring out their new tax bracket, you’re roaming about, living life as you please. You get to share exciting stories with friends about a life they once knew, and they’ll live vicariously through you as they try their best to conceal envy.

8. You get to enjoy being you.
In your 20s, you’re kind of fumbling around trying to figure things out. By your 30s, you’ve got a grasp on who you are and what you have to offer. It’s a beautiful time, and you get to spend it all with yourself.

You’ve reached this point after a lot of growth and hard lessons. Give yourself the time to celebrate that—you’ve earned it.

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6 Things You Should Know About Dating In Your 30s https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-in-your-30s/6-things-know-dating-30s/ Mon, 08 May 2017 08:00:07 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=14466 Because you're not in your 20s anymore. And that's a good thing.

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When you’re in your 20s, pretty much anything goes when it comes to dating. Singles tend to be more carefree and have more energy to date. Ya, breakups are hard but you’re young and you’ll meet someone later in life so it’s no biggie. However, when you’re dating in your 30s you may have more of a sense of urgency and there are certain things to keep in mind.

Here are the 6 things you need to know:

1. Happy hours are something to take full advantage of.
Many single people in their 30s are working full-time jobs. That means, they’re going to bed and getting up earlier than they were in their 20s.

“Happy hours are a great place to meet single people because it’s something social you can do right after work and still make sure you’re home at a reasonable hour,” says Paige, 32, from New York.

2. Looks stop being the number one priority.
Someone’s looks will still catch our eye, but won’t always keep your attention once you’re in your 30s. In other words, when you’re more serious about finding someone for the long term, things like values, politics, life goals, and interests will start to mean a lot more than a bucket list of physical traits.

3. Dating apps can become your favorite wingman/woman.
It’s a common yet legit excuse not to go out and meet peopleyou’re too tired after working all day. Singletons in their 30s may take their dating apps more seriously in terms of looking for a relationship because as much as they want to be out meeting people, often, work/life schedules may not allow for it.

“It may seem lazy to some, but at the end of the day, it’s easier and more relaxing for me to meet people online, while I am home relaxing, than spending an extra two to three hours out after work trying to meet women,” says Ryan, 37, from Sacramento, CA.

4. You’re not in your 20s anymore.
Remember being in your early 20s and seeing those obvious, older bachelors and cougars prowling around the younger crowds? You don’t want to be that older creeper.

“My friend and I went to this club we used to frequent in our mid-20s. After a few minutes and realizing that we were the oldest guys in the place, we left and went to a sports bar. The look I got from girls was like ‘check out the old guys.’ Those late nights partying at clubs are over,” says Mark, 35, from Atlanta.

5. You’ll want to know right away if it’s going anywhere.
Time flies when you’re in your 30s. When you realize that the next decade you hit 40, aka midlife, you’ll realize that you don’t have time to just “date for fun” anymore. Daters in their 30s usually feel like there’s no point in spending time with someone anymore if a date isn’t clicking after the fourth, second, or even first date. Next!

6. You can still be confused about what you want.
The truth is, people in their 30s may still be unsure of the kind of relationship they want. One day, you could be looking for your partner for life. The next day, you could decide you just want a friend with benefits.

“When I turned 36, I thought maybe I was just meant to be single. I wasn’t meeting the right guys and decided that I would be fine on my own. I could travel, date on my terms, and just live my own life. Then I met [Jay] and couldn’t imagine my life without him in it,” says Abby, 37, from Albany.

Being in your 30s is a transition period. You’re definitely not ‘old’ yet, but your not your younger self either. You may look like you’re still in your 20s, but you don’t feel like you’re in your 20s anymore. And this transition period is actually a really great time to date. It’s different than your 20s, you don’t just ‘meet someone out’ or ‘text you later.’ Dates aren’t formal but they are planned. When people aren’t interested, they know how to be mature about it. And you’re a little bit older and wiser too. Not much, mind you. But just enough to make things interesting.

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Why Being Single and 30 Is Kind of the Best https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-in-your-30s/single-and-30/ Fri, 16 Dec 2016 04:10:28 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=13903 Southwest weekender deals. Eighteen hours of Netflix marathons. Never sharing your popcorn. It's not a bad life.

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Now that more people are getting married later in life, there are more people who are 30 and single than ever. But with Facebook constantly shoving happy families in our faces and society doing the whole There’s something wrong with you; you’re going to die alone… thing, this can cause some thirty-somethings to panic, but if you think about it, you’re actually ahead of the game in a lot of ways.

Being 30 and single is totally awesome, and not just because there’s no one to judge you when you eat cheese for dinner. Here are some really solid reasons:

1. You know who you are.
Your teen years are spent trying to be like everyone else, your twenties are for trying to figure out what makes you stand apart, and in your thirties, you’ve finally settled into your own skin, and this makes finding someone else to spend your life with way easier. Your past relationships have helped you figure out exactly what you value and exactly what you want in another person. Add that to the fact that you’ve also figured out all the things you have to offer to someone else, and it makes for a pretty solid package. Many in their thirties ditch that fiendish need to impress everyone and adopt a Take-It-Or-Leave-It mentality. (If you haven’t done this yet, give it a whirl. It’s great.)

2. You ain’t broke.
In college, the social scene was a lot of dollar pizza slices, Tuesday afternoon matinees, and the perpetual anxiety that you’re going to overdraw you account while you’re out at a bar with someone you’re trying to impress. Then you moved to your mid-twenties, which were a lot of ill-advised trips to Vegas that required a constant upping of your blood alcohol level to battle the perpetual anxiety that you’re going to, once again, overdraw your account while you’re out at a bar with someone you’re trying to impress. At some point in your thirties, you figured out how to save a little money, AND pay your bills on time, AND manage a credit line so you can worry about other things when you’re out at a bar with someone you’re trying to impress.

3. There are more divorcees to choose from.
Okay, yes, that may sound weird, but stick with me. People who have been through a divorce are some of the most emotionally evolved people on the dating scene. They know what works in a relationship and what doesn’t, and not only that, they’ve faced some consequences that reinforce those learnings. You can’t go through something like a divorce, no matter how smooth and amicable, without gaining some emotional maturity. Divorced people tend to know exactly what does and doesn’t work for them and their lifestyle, and more often than not, they aren’t going to waste their time messing around if they’re interested. Less game playing, more keeping it real. It’s dating pool gold.

4. Your parents are panicking.
Again, this one may sound strange and not much like a benefit, but it is. Your parents want the best for you, and just like your own ideas of what’s best for you have probably changed since you were in your twenties, likely theirs have too. For example, if your idea of “The One” was ever unaligned with your parents’, bringing someone home could be a major stressor at best, and a total disaster at worst. Once you’re in your thirties, they get WAY less picky, and their “Find someone, settle down, give me grandkids…” task list starts to morph into “Just make yourself happy.” They start to trust your instincts a little more (and so do you), and when you do bring someone home to meet them, they’re more inclined to be open-minded. Take their panic that you’ll never settle down and live a happy domestic life, and enjoy the elasticity it gives you.

5. The freedom factor.
All those smiling baby photos and testimonies about how your friends’ chubby, snuggly lil’ guys have enriched their lives in ways they couldn’t have imagined come at a price, and that price is Sunday brunch mimosa bars. Southwest weekender deals to L.A. Eighteen hours of uninterrupted Netflix marathons. Never sharing your popcorn. Long showers. Spending all your money on your dog. A clean house. Staying out till 3 AM, and still getting 8 hours of sleep. Never stepping on Legos. Dinner at restaurants that aren’t Applebees sometimes. I could go on, but need I?

Savor your lifestyle. Savor your singlehood. Marriage, kids, and domestic bliss are totally amazing, but so is the opportunity to live the way you want, when you want it. And doing it in your thirties comes with an added bonus of being a little smarter, a little wiser, and a little more financially responsible, and all of these plusses mean a single life that’s more enriching than ever! So turn up Beyonce’s sacred anthem, dance around in your underwear, and eat that cheese for dinner. You’re the king of your world.

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5 Things Women Need to Know About Men in Their 30s https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-in-your-30s/5-things-women-need-know-men-30s/ Fri, 04 Nov 2016 01:17:45 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=13688 Are men in their 30s the sweet-spot of dating?

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Dating men in their 30s is like hitting the sweet spot. They’re old enough to have finally figured out most of the important things in life, like their career and that they prefer happy-hour cocktails over hitting up the clubs at 11:00 p.m. But they’re also young enough to be open to new experiences and relationships without the cynicism and baggage that men above 40 might have acquired throughout their dating life. Before you say yes to that date with a thirty-something man, here’s (almost) everything you need to know about him.

1. He understands beauty is only skin deep.
A man in his 20s might have been more obsessed with his abs than you, but a man in his 30s is looking for someone with more substance and tons of confidence. Your thirty-something man realizes that a woman’s worth as well as her attractiveness goes deeper than her physical appearance. Of course men in their 30s appreciate a woman who takes pride in how she looks, but they also understand that good looks only get you so far. Self-esteem and a creative mind are the sexy turn-ons he’s looking for.

2. He doesn’t want any drama.
A man in his 30s is over the emotional outbursts, the dramatic head games, and all the chaotic confusion that typically depicts dating in your twenties. Now he just wants straight forwardness, honesty, and lots of peace and calm in his relationships. (i.e. no late night drunk texting and asking, “What are we?!!”) If you are curious about his feelings or relationship status, then just ask.

3. He’s looking to settle down… soonish.
Most men in their 30s are tired of random hookups and casual relationships that never go anywhere. He wants to find a suitable partner for a long-term relationship, and, eventually, possibly, marriage. However, dating doesn’t automatically equal marriage right away for the thirty-something man. Most men in their 30s are finally earning a stable income, which might mean he’s more concerned with getting that promotion than sending out wedding invitations. If you’re wondering where’s he at, ask him what he hopes to achieve over the next five years. If he mentions marriage, he’s looking for a commitment. If he mentions surfing around the world with his dudes, then he’s probably content with just dating. For now.

4. He wants support.
Men in their 20s have a lot of bravado. They hang out with their friends 24/7 and think they know a lot about the world, including women and dating, when they actually know next to nada. A man in his 30s realizes that he was a mess in his 20s and wants to better himself, but he also realized that he needs support getting his stuff together. He’s looking for a woman who he can learn from and lean on during the tough times, and someone with whom he can happily share the good times. If you’re open to nurturing him to be the best person he can be, then you just might find your match.

5. He wants you to be open about what you want.
A man in his 30s is more open to clear and honest communication than ever before. Whether it’s discussing your thoughts on marriage, having a family (or not) or what you would prefer he do in the bedroom, he wants to know it all. Don’t remain silent in fear of scaring him away. In fact, it’s remaining quiet about your needs and wants that might actually cause him to walk away.

 

Remember, a man in his 30s has, for the most part, relinquished the cavalier, immature, and sometimes selfish ways of his 20s. He’s open to experiencing one of the most significant relationships in his life—there’s no reason why it can’t be with you.

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Dating Mistakes Guys Make in Their 30s https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-advice-men/dating-mistakes-guys-make-30s/ Fri, 06 May 2016 08:00:47 +0000 https://about.zoosk.com/en/?p=8185 OK you thirty-somethings, here are a few things you should know.

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“Basically, I realized, I was living in that awful stage of life from the age of twenty-six to thirty-seven known as stupidity. It’s when you don’t know anything, not even as much as you did when you were younger, and you don’t even have a philosophy about all the things you don’t know, the way you did when you were twenty or would again when you were thirty-eight. Nonetheless you tried things out.” – Lorrie Moore

Ah, our 30s. Such a magical time. A time of transition, of change. A time when you feel like you should have it all figured out, but somehow you just don’t yet. It’s easy to think of your 30s as simply the end of your 20s, but there’s a lot more happening during these oh-so-formative years. Changes are taking place that will turn you into the man you’ll continue to be for many years to come. But in many ways, you’re still young too. And still very app to make mistakes, especially when it comes to dating. So what’s a guy to do?

To get both a male and a female perspective on what mistakes guys make in their 30s, we turned to dating and relationship expert David Bennett, author of Eleven Dating Mistakes Guys Make (And How to Correct Them), as well as Dr. Jennifer Rhodes, licensed clinical therapist and founder of boutique relationship agency Rapport.

Here’s their advice on what to watch out for when dating in your 30s…

Growing, but not maturing.
“Most guys haven’t learned much despite growing older,” Bennett said. “They may have progressed in their careers, but they haven’t done the necessary personality work to make themselves more charming, confident, and attractive. Many guys forget that age doesn’t necessarily equal attractiveness.”

Getting too cocky.
“[Men] assume that now that they have more power and authority in life, much younger women will flock to them,” Bennett warned. “Guys still have to have something to offer women they want to date. They still have to work on their personality.”

Not getting with the times when it comes to your look.
There is one external aspect that really matters, and that’s clothing choice. “Outdated fashion is a huge problem too,” Bennett added. “For older guys, time seems to pass quickly, and many guys haven’t updated their wardrobe in years. They don’t want to dress like teens, but they need to look sharp and smart for their age.” That means ditching the hoodies and finding jeans, shirts, and suits that actually fit.

Being too obsessed with timing and missing out.
“The biggest mistake I see men make in their 30s,” Rhodes said, “is walking away from fantastic dating opportunities because they are too busy working on their careers. Life does not unfold as we plan it. Many men in their 30s have met wonderful women and take for granted that they’l still be available when they’re ready to settle down. Many of these men wait until their 40s to take dating seriously, and panic when the ‘type’ of woman they so easily met in their 30s is not easily found.”

Men looking for a partner must apply the same commitment and focus for getting a promotion to their love life, Rhodes said: “If you would not walk away from an opportunity in your career, why would you choose to do so in your dating life?”

So if you’re finding yourself confused from time to time, making mistakes, and stumbling along in love and life, that’s OK. Turning 30 doesn’t mean you have it all figured out. It just means you’re on your way. You’ll make mistakes, get too cocky, wear the wrong thing, but nonetheless you’ll try things out.

You’ll try to make it work and, if you’re lucky, somewhere along the way you’ll find that it does.

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