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Tinder Hook Up: How To Keep Ethics And Excitement High

couple kissing under fairy lights having a Tinder hook up

Tinder hook ups can be brilliant under the right circumstances: a one-off, no-strings night of fun behind closed doors. Do it right and you’ll let off steam, boost your confidence, and potentially even sow the seeds of a new relationship. It’s a subtle game to play, however. Get the balance of the evening wrong, and you may find yourself blushing for all the wrong reasons.

In the interest of keeping your dignity high and your sex appeal higher, here are a few things you ought to consider.

How to do a Tinder Hook Up Well

Communication is key

If your Tinder hook up is going to be just that – the ‘ding dong’ of a doorbell, a quick glass of wine and then mattress springs until dawn – best make sure you’re both very clear on it before you meet.

Aside from the glaring aspect of personal safety and comfort, it can be downright humiliating if both parties are not quite on the same page when meeting up. If you rock up to your dates’ place with a center parting and a fresh bouquet, it’s going to be difficult to salvage the atmosphere if they answer the door with a ballgag and a cat o’ nine tails.

 Your place or theirs?

It’s a tricky one. Your place is likely where you’ll likely feel the most comfortable, and in the morning you’ll be able to simply wave farewell from your bed as your date makes their exit. However – what if they don’t leave? For hours?

What if they want breakfast? What if, after reluctantly cooking them brunch, you resort to making hints like ‘Well, really should be getting on with the day now…’ and they respond with ‘Oh, swell! What shall we do next?’ What then?

Opting for their place resolves some of these concerns, but brings its own too. You can leave whenever you like, which is handy, plus you get to keep your own address a mystery in case the evening was a dud and you’d prefer to vanish into the ether.

There’s always the risk they live with a roommate/their parents/forty-five cats, however, which may or may not be a deal-breaker depending on your sensibilities and/or allergies. Oh – and don’t forget, if you stay the night you’ll be walking home in the same outfit the next day. Choose wisely.

In fact, while we’re on the subject…

 Spending the night

If your Tinder hook up goes exceptionally well, you may find yourself feeling a little sleepy and relaxed later in the evening. Before passing out in your date’s bed, however, it’s always a good idea to be sure you’re welcome to stay the night.

While some people couldn’t care less, others view actually sleeping together as a whole other level of intimacy to ‘sleeping’ together. You don’t necessarily need to discuss this in advance, but it’s always worth checking you’re both on the same wavelength before putting on your eye mask.

Expect respect

Tinder hook ups are uncharted waters, and the mystery is all part of the fun. Still, always ensure your boundaries are respected, and be vocal if anything crops up outside your comfort zone.

Discussing these boundaries ahead of time can save you a world of trouble later on, and although laying down the law might not feel like the sexiest thing ever, if you’re sneaky you can easily make your comfort zone known through sexting, ahead of the big night. Let them know what you like, what you don’t, and have fun with it!

Repeated encounters

It’s a tale as old as time: two lusty singles hook up just the once, realize they enjoyed it, continue booty-calling one another for a few months, and before you can say ‘rom-com’ they’re gazing into one another’s eyes at the altar.

The reality is that for many of us, it’s difficult for casual sex to continue in the long term without at least one party developing feelings sooner or later. This raises the question: are repeated encounters allowed?

If your Tinder hook up was a hoot the first time around, there’s not really any harm in dropping your date a message suggesting you meet up for round two. And three, and four, if the vibe is right.

Be aware though, that we all have very different capacities for nipping our emotions in the bud. Your heart may be hewn from stone, but that doesn’t mean your date is. If you’re determined to stay single, make that plain – no really, plain.

If you’re going to be casually hooking up and seeing other people in the meantime, this is worth verbalizing as well. Nobody wants to learn they’ve been saving themselves for The One, while the supposed ‘One’ in question has been sending out mass ‘U up?’ texts at 4 am every Friday night.

Whatever is going to be your new arrangement, talk it through, agree on it, and stick to it.

Come to think about it, this entire article could be replaced with a large, flashing neon sign that just reads ‘COMMUNICATE’. Above all, remember to have fun, stay safe, respect boundaries, and be vocal about what it is you want. Good luck getting lucky!

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