Science & Statistics – The Date Mix Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters Sun, 18 Mar 2018 08:00:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Infatuation Symptoms: What Happens When You’ve Really Got It Bad Wed, 21 Feb 2018 09:00:58 +0000 This is your brain on love.

The post Infatuation Symptoms: What Happens When You’ve Really Got It Bad appeared first on The Date Mix.

Nearly everyone has experienced the bliss of new love. Infatuation symptoms are not difficult to recognize or understand—constant preoccupation with someone, day-dreaming, butterflies when you’re planning on seeing them, smiling like an idiot, gushing to your friends constantly, or turning any benign conversation about a deal on avocados into an excuse to discuss their glittering eyes. But infatuation causes actual chemical effects in the body that can lead to physical symptoms that you may not necessarily equate with the joyfulness of being in love.

According to the Harvard Department of Neurobiology, new love increases levels of dopamine in the brain, but those heightened levels of dopamine also signal and increase in cortisol—the “crisis handling” chemical, and norepinephrine, an adrenaline hormone that can cause insomnia, cravings, and loss of appetite Basically, infatuation can completely scramble your brain.

Here are a few infatuation symptoms you may encounter when you’re really interested in someone:

1. Flaw-Blindness
Raging dopamine levels do all kinds of things to your brain and body, and one of them is majorly clouding your judgment. Yes, your new boo is probably absolutely wonderful, but the chance that their completely and utterly perfect is pretty slim. If the way they smack their lips when they eat ribs is just freakin’ adorable now, give it time to simmer before you declare it’s your favorite thing about them.

2. Forgetfulness
In crisis mode, your brain narrows its scope down to a singular focus—what’s essentially tunnel vision. That means that when you’re preoccupied with a new special someone, your brain may be dropping off its list all the other things that aren’t “important.” If you’re driving home with every intention of stopping at the bank, you may find yourself in your driveway before you even realize you’ve forgotten.

 3. Sour Stomach
When the stakes are high, your anxiety levels naturally heighten, and that can drop your desire to eat. If you’ve been on cloud nine lately and you’re finding that your stomach isn’t cooperating, this may be the reason why.

 4. Insecurity
Cortisol can caused heightened anxiety, and when you’re focusing on impressing someone new (and worrying about whether or not they’re as into you as you’re into them) this can cause you to turn your anxieties inward, and focus on your imperfections. Suddenly, you may find that you can’t let go of the size of your calves, or you’re fretting about if you’re savings account is too small. Things that you normally take in stride may become incredibly bothersome.

5. Exhaustion
Your preoccupation may hit whole new levels if it’s disrupting your sleep patterns. You can lie awake for hours thinking of all the wonderful things about your new crush, fretting over all the things that could go wrong, waking up early to do some extra primping in case you run into them, work out a little harder and cut back on calories to look your best, and not to mention panic sweat when they even look in your direction. These heightened activities can really take a toll on the body.

When you consider the havoc being newly in love wreaks on your body and mind, it can be daunting, and frankly, a turn off. But here’s the best part: You’re so in love, you don’t usually care. None of these symptoms even compare to when that dream person looks into your eyes. So keep sailing on that sea of love, dear friends. Soon the newness will wane and you’ll be left with the long lasting comfort of being able to sleep, eat, see, and remember things again.

The post Infatuation Symptoms: What Happens When You’ve Really Got It Bad appeared first on The Date Mix.

Zoosk Data Study: The Ultimate Guide to Food and Dating Mon, 20 Nov 2017 16:55:18 +0000 Love guacamole? You may want to mention it in your dating profile.

The post Zoosk Data Study: The Ultimate Guide to Food and Dating appeared first on The Date Mix.

With the holidays coming up, here at Zoosk we’ve all been thinking a lot about what we’re thankful for (our health, our families, our friends, our dogs, a Dodgers’ World Series loss, the NES Classic Edition) and also about, well, food. And it got us to thinking… We’ve all heard that saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is it really true? Does food play a role in the way people feel about each other or about who we’re attracted to?

To get a glimpse into how important food is to blossoming love and personal relationships we analyzed 3,733,185 dating profiles and 364,609,566 first messages to find out how mentioning different foods and food-related phrases changes online daters’ romantic interactions. In addition, we also surveyed over 7,000 singles to get some insight into how food and dating intersect.

And what we found? In many ways, we are what we eat. Food preferences do have an impact on how we interact with each other romantically. And for the most part, any time food and romance come together it’s very positive.

Here are the takeaways:

1. Daters’ favorite holiday for food is definitely Thanksgiving
58% of singles asked said that Thanksgiving was the best holiday meal by far. Christmas was second with 25% and Easter was last with just 2% of the vote.

Daters’ Favorite Holiday Meal

 Thanksgiving  58%
Christmas 25%
4th of July 9%
Super Bowl Sunday 6%
Easter 2%

2. Talking about food in your profile makes you more attractive (but not yams)
Overall, any mention of food in an online dating profile is going to result in an increase in inbound messages. Some foods, such as guacamole, potatoes, and chocolate are particularly successful at increasing the amount of messages (users with these foods in their profile have over 100% more incoming messages than the average). There are a few exceptions however. Interestingly enough, despite the fact that it is both delicious and wonderful, mentioning fried chicken in a dating profile results in 15% fewer messages and yams are vastly unpopular resulting in 70% fewer messages.

Best Foods to Mention in Your Online Dating Profile

 Food mentioned in profile  Increase in inbound messages
Guacamole 144%
Potatoes 101%
Chocolate 100%
Salad 97%
Sushi 93%
Avocado 91%
Pasta 75%
Cheese 75%
Cake 72%
Burger 68%
Banana 66%
Biscuit 64%
Ice cream 62%
Fries 61%
Seafood 61%
Sandwich 55%
Steak 51%
Junk food 50%
Pizza 48%
Hot dog 41%
Sausage 30%
Eggplant 25%
Taco 24%
Ribs 20%
Bbq 17%
Burrito 17%
Pho 6%
Noodles 3%

Worst Foods to Mention in Your Online Dating Profile

 Food mentioned in profile  Decrease in inbound messages
Yams -70%
Fried Chicken -15%

3. Protein is the most popular food group
When it comes to food groups, protein is the big winner with 36% more messages than the average.

Most Popular Food Groups Among Online Daters

 Food group mentioned in profile   Increase in inbound messages
Protein 36%
Fruits 34%
Vegetables 19%
Grains 16%
Dairy 2%

4. Foodies are sexy
Other than simply talking about food, mentioning that you’re a foodie or talking about cooking will also result in more incoming messages. Profiles that contain the word foodie receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word cook receive 26% more incoming messages.

5. Chatting about food will only help you a little (except for eggplant)
Though mentioning food in your profile can lead to more incoming messages, it probably shouldn’t be the first thing you talk about with someone. For the most part, mentioning food in an initial message doesn’t result in many more replies. But there are some exceptions, the most surprising of which is eggplant, which gets 10% more responses than the average.

Best Foods to Mention in An Online Dating Message

 Food mentioned in message  Increase in response rate
Eggplant 10%
Biscuit 4%
Sausage 4%
Salad 3%
Fries 3%
Vegetables 2%
Banana 2%
Pho 2%
Noodles 2%
Hot dog 1%
Pasta 1%
Sandwich 1%
Potatoes 1%
Cake 1%
Ribs 1%

In fact, some words may even hurt your chances of getting a reply.

Worst Foods to Mention in An Online Dating Message

Message text Decrease in response rate
Burrito -7%
Fried chicken -7%
Pizza -6%
Avocado -4%
Junk food -4%
Guacamole -3%
bbq -3%
Sushi -3%
Chocolate -2%
Yams -2%
Ice cream -2%
Carbs -2%
Cheese -2%
Grains -1%

6. There’s no longer a stigma against vegetarians
Back in 2015, messages that mentioned being a vegetarian were a big no-no and resulted in 100% fewer replies than the average. But now that’s it’s 2017, saying you’re a vegetarian is a plus. Messages that mention being a vegetarian get 3% more replies than the average. Though it’s not a huge lift in replies, it is a huge difference in just two years. In addition, if you say you’re a vegetarian in your profile you can get up to 52% more incoming messages. Being a vegan is a plus as well. People who mention vegan in their profile get 62% more incoming messages than the average.

7. Getting fast food on a first date is no problem… for men 
The majority of women (59%) have a negative perception of their date when they suggest a fast-food restaurant, while only a quarter of men (25%) feel the same way. In addition, 10% of women said going to a fast-food restaurant for a first date is an immediate deal-breaker.

If a date suggests a fast-food restaurant, women said they think:

  • They’re cheap: 31%
  • They’re unhealthy: 28%
  • They’re easy to please: 12%
  • It doesn’t make a difference (a fast-food restaurant is a totally acceptable suggestion for a first date): 29%

If a date suggests a fast-food restaurant, men said they think:

  • They’re cheap: 8%
  • They’re unhealthy: 17%
  • They’re easy to please: 27%
  • It doesn’t make a difference (a fast-food restaurant is a totally acceptable suggestion for a first date): 48%

If a date takes them to a fast-food restaurant, women said they:

  • Silently judge them, but give them a chance: 31%
  • Don’t judge them, a fast-food restaurant is totally okay for a first date: 34%
  • Suggest they go to another place instead: 25%
  • Make an excuse to end the date (it’s a deal-breaker): 10%

If a date takes them to a fast-food restaurant, men said they:

  • Silently judge them, but give them a chance: 17%
  • Don’t judge them, a fast-food restaurant is totally okay for a first date: 55%
  • Suggest they go to another place instead: 25%
  • Make an excuse to end the date (it’s a deal-breaker): 3%

8. Sorry, Aziz, the Whole Foods line doesn’t really work
In his popular Netflix show “Master of None” Aziz Ansari had some success on dating apps using the line, “Going to Whole Foods, want me to pick up anything?” Unfortunately, on Zoosk the line didn’t work so well.

Since the show went live in May, men have sent 3,646 messages using the now-famous line. However, the reply rate was the same as the average. That means, if you’re a guy trying to spark up a conversation with a woman on a dating app, it doesn’t help to ask her what she wants from Whole Foods, but doesn’t hurt either.

Women, however, have had some success with the line. Though there have been a very a small amount of women trying it out (only 49 messages since May) their reply rate was 31% above the average.

9. Seafood is the most popular food to eat on a date
When it comes to date-night fare, 19% of online daters prefer seafood. But surf and turf are both popular items with steak coming in second with 18% of the vote.

Favorite Date-Night Foods 

Seafood  19%
Steak 18%
Mexican 12%
Pasta 9%
Sushi 8%
Chinese 7%
Pizza 7%
Tapas 4%
Salad 4%
Breakfast Food 4%
Burgers 4%
Sandwiches 3%
Indian 1%

Other fun facts?

– Men would prefer to ‘meat’ their date at a Texas Roadhouse. Steak is 7% more popular with men than women.

– Millennials voted sushi as their favorite date-night food.

10. But stay away from the buffalo wings and ribs
When asked what foods they avoid on dates, 23% of online daters said buffalo wings or ribs. Other unpopular date-night foods are Indian food and anything that’s hard to pronounce.

Worst Foods to Eat on a Date

Buffalo wings or ribs 23%
Indian food 15%
Hard to pronounce food 12%
Garlic 10%
Spaghetti 8%
Shellfish 7%
Lobster or crab 5%
Mexican 4%
Dairy 4%
Spinach 4%
Corn 3%
Eggs 3%
Soup 2%

11. Chocolate covered strawberries are the sexiest food
When asked what the sexiest foods are, the classic chocolate-covered strawberries won out with 34% of the vote. Wine and cheese wasn’t far behind however, with 28% of the vote. But sorry caviar lovers, your favorite food was tied for last place along with sausages and hot dogs.

Chocolate-covered strawberries 34%
Wine and cheese 28%
Ice cream 12%
Oysters 8%
Fondue 5%
Pasta 3%
Bananas 3%
Truffles or soufflé 2%
Apple pie 2%
Sausage or hot dog 1%
Caviar 1%


The post Zoosk Data Study: The Ultimate Guide to Food and Dating appeared first on The Date Mix.

The 14 Dating Statistics All Singles Need to Know Wed, 27 Sep 2017 08:00:16 +0000 Did you know if you date for 3 months, you're more likely to start a serious relationship? It's science.

The post The 14 Dating Statistics All Singles Need to Know appeared first on The Date Mix.

When it comes to dating and relationships there are a lot of grey areas—as there should be. Maybe that’s why it’s so fun to look at dating statistics and data to see the black and white facts presented by the numbers. Whether you’re curious about the best city  to start a relationship in or want to know what men really think about paying for the first date, check out these 14 important dating statistics for some much-needed insight.

1. Shared interests and sex are important to a successful marriage.
According to a 2017 study on marriage by the PEW Research Center, 64% of married couples say having shared interests is important to a successful relationship and 61% said satisfying sexual relationship is. It makes sense then, that in a survey of over 6,000 online daters on the dating site Zoosk, the majority of them said the thing they like to talk about in their first conversation with someone is their hobbies and interests. Another fun find—56% of married adults say sharing household chores is very important to a successful marriage.

2. Guys care more about who pays the bill than women.
In a recent survey of over 6,000 heterosexual singles on the dating site and app Zoosk, 86% of men said they preferred to pay the bill, while only 56% of women said they prefered the man to pay. On top of that, only 25% of men said they like it when a woman offers to pay.  

3. It’s actually harder start a relationship in a big city.
According to 2014 Facebook data gathered from relationship-related posts and status changes, big cities like New York, LA, and Miami aren’t the best place to meet people. The cities that you’re most likely to start a relationship in? Colorado Springs, El Paso, Louisville, and Fort Worth.

4. Love goes beyond politics.
Though current times may suggest otherwise, the same PEW study on marriage also showed that only 16% of married people said they thought shared political views were important to their marriage. So even if you and your significant other don’t see eye to eye on economic reform or foreign policy, you can still be a good pair for each other in a relationship.

5. More people are choosing to stay single longer, or indefinitely.
And as a result the gap between married and single people has narrowed. Back in the 1950s married couples outnumbered singles by 37.1 million, but after the last census in 2015 that number shrunk to 12.1 million.

6. The best time to get married is between the ages of 28 and 32.
According to a study by Nick Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah people who get married between 28 and 32 split up the least. As the study put it, this “Goldilocks Theory of Marriage” shows that getting married too early or too late can be risky.

7. Most people think online dating is a good way to meet people.
In a 2015 study by PEW, 59% of people in the U.S. agreed that online dating was a good way to meet people. And that number was on the rise, since in 2005 only 44% of people surveyed said they thought online dating was a good way to meet.

8. If you date someone for 3 months, it’s likely you’ll start a serious relationship.
Another fun find from Facebook—couples who make it to 3 months usually end up together for at least 4 years. So the three month mark is an important milestone.

9. If you’ve been dating for over 6 months, it might be time to discuss marriage.
A survey from the dating app Zoosk showed that 56% of men and 54% of women want to discuss marriage after they’ve been dating for 6 months.

10. Technology can bring couples closer.
According to a 2014 PEW research study, 21% of mobile phone owners, said they feel closer to their spouse or partner because of conversations they had via text. 9% admitted that they had resolved an argument over text message that they couldn’t resolve in person. In addition to that 27% of internet users say their internet usage has had an impact on their relationship and 74% said it was a positive one.

11. More people are getting remarried.
According to the U.S. census 40% of new marriages involve remarriage, where one or both of the spouses have been married before. In addition, in 2013 42 million adults in the U.S. had been married more than once which was up from 22 million in 1980.  

12. Men and women both want someone who’s honest.
After data mining over 3,000,000 profiles, the dating app Zoosk found that both men and women use the word honest the most while describing what they’re looking for in another person. Other popular traits varied by age and included things like fun, sense of humor, family, or easy going.

13. Same sex couples don’t care about age as much.
According to Facebook data, in heterosexual couples, males are consistently 2–5 years older than females, while same-sex couples generally have larger gaps within the spouses ages.

14. Coffee or dinner dates are the best way to go.
According to messaging data from the online dating site Zoosk, women in their 20s and 30s use the word dinner most often when describing their ideal date. Womens in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older list coffee most often.


The post The 14 Dating Statistics All Singles Need to Know appeared first on The Date Mix.

Youngest, Oldest, Middle, and Only: What Your Date’s Birth Order Says About Them Sun, 16 Jul 2017 08:00:01 +0000 Are you dating an only child? How about an older child? Here's what you should know.

The post Youngest, Oldest, Middle, and Only: What Your Date’s Birth Order Says About Them appeared first on The Date Mix.

You’ve already conducted an astrological and numerological compatibility test on your date, but have you looked into what their birth order says about them?

It turns out that where a person falls in their family’s sibling hierarchy—oldest, middle, youngest, and even only—can play a pretty significant role in how they relate to others, especially in a romantic relationship.

It all boils down to the fact that your parents and your siblings were the first people who you interacted with. How you related to each other, and where you fit into your family dynamic, pretty much set the path of your future relationships.

Birth order and its potentially lasting impact on a person’s life has fascinated both the scientific community and us mere Muggles for centuries. It was Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychotherapist, who first recognized birth order as a significant factor in personality development. He believed that “even though children have the same parents and grow up in nearly the same family setting, they do not have identical social environments,” which affects how we deal with tasks, careers, friendships, and relationships later in life.

Which is why determining your date’s birth-order is just one strategy to help assess your compatibility—a theory backed by science and not the stars.

Here’s what you need to know about birth order types, and how it can affect your love life.

If your date is the firstborn…
He or she likes to be in control. Most likely they will choose the restaurant where you’re meeting, and because they’re also known to be conscientious and well-organized, they’ve also scoped out additional activities to explore post-dinner, and will either be early or on time—but never late. Because they’re reliant and overachievers, firstborns are the kind of partners who you can count on for support, both financially and emotionally. Though you might have to prod them to embrace their spontaneous side from time-to-time.

If your date is the middle child…
You’re in for a mixed bag. Bridging the gap between the eldest and youngest child, the middle child is generally known the as Type O child—they get along with just about anyone. Which is probably why in his book, The New Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, Kevin Leham said middle children tend to be mediators. Most likely your middle child date will be easy-going and have a go-with-the-flow attitude when it comes to date night. Even though middle children are highly sociable, they can also be hard to read. Leham notes middle children are choosy about who they confide in—so if your date opens up to you, it’s a good sign that they trust you.

If your date is the youngest…
Because they’ve fought hard to find their social footing—and because they were mostly likely babied within the family—your last-born date is super sociable, extroverted, and is in need of some extra TLC. Chances are your youngest born date is up for anything, which is super fun and exciting, but because they didn’t take on much responsibility as a kid, they might look to you to take the reins. However, because they spent a lot of time with adults and older children, they get along with a variety of people and is probably the funniest person in the room.

If your date is the only child…
Only children get a bad rep for being selfish, which Adler didn’t help much by calling them “dependent and self-centered.” However, as much as only children are a little spoiled (hey, they didn’t have to share with anyone), they are also known to be responsible, mature, and organized. If you’re dating someone who’s a bit younger than you, but is also an only child, you may find that they’re pretty smart and ambitious. Because they mostly hung out with parents and adults for most of their young lives, you may also notice that their communication skills are strong. Like firstborns, only children are perfectionists but because they’re the sole child, they’re super perfectionists. Your date night will be A+, but will leave little room for flexibility. And if something goes wrong? You can bet they’ll be super hard on themselves.

Although a person’s birth order by no means determines the path of a current or future relationship (a recent study found that birth order does not effect extroversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness, or imagination) it’s still fascinating to see how our place within our family during our earliest years could still impact our relationships, years later.

The post Youngest, Oldest, Middle, and Only: What Your Date’s Birth Order Says About Them appeared first on The Date Mix.

New Study Shows the Millennial ‘Hookup Culture’ Is a Myth Thu, 22 Jun 2017 19:15:23 +0000 Turns out they're not having as much sex as many would have us believe.

The post New Study Shows the Millennial ‘Hookup Culture’ Is a Myth appeared first on The Date Mix.

Millennials may have been raised with the ease and accessibility of dating apps, but that doesn’t mean they’re out there having sex left and right or are experts at dating and relationships. In fact, according to a new Harvard report, millennials often feel clueless about how to even begin a healthy dating relationship, often leaving them anxious about how to develop one.

The study, which polled 3,000 individuals aged 18-to-25 from across the U.S. about their attitudes on sex and relationships, also made another startling revelation about the romantic lives of millennials: they’re having way less sex than we think.

According to researchers, we tend to “greatly overestimate” the hook-up culture of millennials. This misconception is only doing more harm than good to young people, as it’s impeding their ability to navigate real dating relationships, while also forcing them to deflect the perception that they’re all about casual sex.

“We hope that this report is a real wake-up call,” Dr. Richard Weissbourd, lead author of the study, said in a statement. “While adults, and parents in particular, wring their hands about the ‘hook-up culture,’ research indicated that far fewer young people are hooking up than is commonly believed.”

So why are Millennials so “awk” about dating? Below are a few theories that might explain the dating world of millennials.

Too Many Options
Online dating, which is supposed to streamline the dating experience, might actually be complicating it for an inexperienced Millennial. With a potential match from a dating app easy at the ready, there’s a millennial mindset that another “better” option is always available. Meaning Millennials may not be as eager to invest in another person because they know there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Too Much Oversharing
Millennials are more comfortable sharing and talking about themselves, as evidenced by social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, and Facebook. They may feel camaraderie with others as they commiserate over cheating exes and lame lovers, but they are failing to reconcile that Internet connection with an IRL one?

Too Risky
Another study, this one from Florida Atlantic University, found that more and more young adults are forgoing sex. Dr. Ryne Sherman, the study’s co-author, believes that Millennials might be more cautious than previous generations. They grew up with AIDS awareness and sexual education, which might make them more hesitant to hook up. They also don’t do as many drugs or smoke as much as their parents or grandparents did.

Too Little Parental Support
When it comes to navigating their relationships what many wish for is that they’d grown up with their parents giving them better examples of how to do so. According to the Harvard study, a high percentage of young people want guidance from parents, mentors, or trusted adults when it comes to developing relationships. However,  according to the study, “Many parents may not see providing guidance on romantic relationships as their role, not know what to say, or feel hobbled in these conversations because of their own romantic failures.”

“Helping young people develop the skills to maintain caring romantic relationships and treat those of different genders with dignity and respect also helps strengthen their ability to develop caring, responsible relationships at every stage of their lives and to grow into ethical adults, community members, and citizens.”

With more than half of U.S. marriages ending in divorce, it doesn’t appear that many of the parents of Millennials know how to develop a healthy and committed relationship either. This might explain a lot about the dating dilemma of a Millennial. They’re not actually cavalier as we thought them to be—they just want to have the healthy love they may not have gotten an example of while growing up.

And then there’s always the explanation that Millennials are simply younger, haven’t lived as long, and therefore don’t have the knowledge or experience needed to find and nurture healthy relationships. They need to live more, have their hearts broken and break some hearts, make mistakes, and experience what it is to truly care for someone in order to learn what makes human relationships so complicated, worthwhile, and amazing. (Oh wait, isn’t that what we all need to do? Isn’t that something all people of all ages and generations continue to struggle with?)

By debunking the myth that Millennials and young people only want to hookup, and getting rid of this idea that they’re some kind of technology-crazed, pleasure-seeking race of humans, we might just help everyone out. In many ways, we are a product of our times and our environment molds who we become, but people will always seek out other people and close relationships with them. Millennials want the same things that everyone wants. They’re just figuring out how to find them.

The post New Study Shows the Millennial ‘Hookup Culture’ Is a Myth appeared first on The Date Mix.

When It Comes to Online Dating, Nice Guys Finish First Wed, 17 May 2017 22:01:41 +0000 Want to get more messages from women online? You might want to take a tip from the nice guys.

The post When It Comes to Online Dating, Nice Guys Finish First appeared first on The Date Mix.

Men and woman have always wondered if the old saying “Nice guys finish last” really holds true. And now, thanks to AskMen and online dating data from the dating site Zoosk, we can have the real answer. They looked into different data around what types of behaviors work best while dating online and found that the nice guys tend to come out on top.

Check it out:

An infographic about being a nice guy while online dating.

The post When It Comes to Online Dating, Nice Guys Finish First appeared first on The Date Mix.