Online Dating Tips – The Date Mix Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters Sun, 18 Mar 2018 08:00:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 33 Online Dating Tips for Women (from Men) Fri, 16 Mar 2018 08:00:20 +0000 Men on dating sites give their best pieces of advice.

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Over the past couple years, as online dating has grown in popularity, it’s grown in a lot of other ways too. The apps we use have changed, the way we communicate has changed, and the social norms have changed too. Technology moves fast and, as a result, so does the way we use it. If you’re single trying to online date, it can be hard to keep up at times. That’s why we went straight to the source and asked single men and women who are online dating to give each other some online dating tips about what they’d like to see from each other.

We already gave the guys their online dating tips from women, so now it’s your turn ladies. We surveyed over 3,000 men on the online dating site and app Zoosk and asked them about their experiences and what their top online dating tips for women are. What we got was some great insight and some short but sweet tips you can start using right away.

Here are 33 online dating tips for women from men:

1. “Do what feels right for you.”

2. “Don’t be so quick to judge, there are a lot of choices out there especially with a dating site. And if you judge someone negatively after the first lull in a conversation, you may just be passing up Mr. Right.”

3. “Any pictures you post, especially your main photo, shouldn’t hide your face or body. Be proud of you. Show yourself. Post pictures of you!”

4. “It helps if you provide a conversation starter in your profile. I think we’d both prefer that I ask about your career or a hobby over a generic, ‘Hey, you’re cute’ message.”

5. “Figure out what matters most to you in life, then find someone who has matching priorities.”

6. “If you’re viewing someone several times a day/week, don’t be afraid to say something. You might lose out by remaining silent, because we’re not sure if you’re really interested, or just passing by.”

7. “Be yourself. You’re not trying to win a man, you’re trying to find the right fit together.”

8. “Don’t rush things, of course. Though we’re all looking for a special someone, it’s more fun when you don’t try looking but rather stumble right onto it. I know it’s ironic that I’m saying this about a dating site, but I’m really just looking for a good conversation before anything else.”

9. “Using more emoticons while online is really helpful. Sometimes it’s hard to read into the meaning of a conversation via a text chat.”

10. “Don’t be afraid to be the first one to say hi. We really appreciate it.”

11. “If all a guy can start off with is hi, don’t blow him off because he’s not blowing your mind with the most amazing greeting you’ve ever read. Give him a little patience and a moment to open up. You could be ignoring someone that just needs a moment to get the pleasantries out of the way.”

12. “Many of the things you look for in a relationship, a man is looking for as well. Things that you like, men like: compliments, engaging conversation, eye-contact, all of it.”

13. “Some of the best guys in the world don’t know how to interact with women but have so much to offer. So be kind to the shy guys.”

14. “Be a little flirty and go for it!”

15. “Try to limit any talk about exes, unless someone makes a direct inquiry.”

16. “Make plans too. Don’t rely on the man to make all the decisions.”

17. “Be understanding. Many guys are dense as doorknobs and you have to be direct with them.”

18. “Use pictures of yourself doing the things you say you do. For example, instead of saying you like to walk on the beach, have a picture.”

19. “Most men are poor at picking up the subtle cues, so some explicit direction is sometimes needed for us to make those early connections.”

20. “Focus on what you want in your profile, not on what you don’t want.”

21. “If you like a guy’s profile, then go ahead and message him, even if it’s just to say that you liked his profile.”

22. “Spend some time trying to get to know someone by asking questions about him. In our culture a lot of people make quick judgements and move on without truly getting to know someone.”

23. “Don’t be afraid to go somewhat deep in your conversation.”

24. “If the person is within the scope of what you’re looking, spend some time and see how it goes with no pressure.”

25. “Be open to new things and new kinds of men. You may be surprised.”

26. “Don’t put in your profile that you want ‘to be treated like a princess,’ that you are ‘high maintenance but worth it,’ or that you ‘want to be spoiled.’ It can come across as selfish instead of confident.”

27. “Don’t use a photograph with other people in it, especially men.”

28. “Stop with the one word answers. It’s hard to keep a conversation going.”

29. “Don’t be too shy. When you’re chatting online or texting it sounds like you aren’t interested.”

30. “Keep it simple and don’t try to learn everything about each other in the first conversation.”

31. “Don’t try and change a man, celebrate your differences and be open minded.”

32. “Be willing to meet and talk. Don’t make everything about a few profile sentences and pictures.”

33. “Be brave enough to share your heart and express your feelings.”

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33 Online Dating Tips for Men (from Women) Tue, 13 Mar 2018 08:00:50 +0000 A fun collection of short but sweet tips from women who are online dating.

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As the editor of a dating magazine, I see a lot of dating tips from a lot of different sources. Whether it’s experts in psychology and relationships, dating coaches, a bartender, best-selling authors, or someone’s best friend, some of the best dating and relationship advice comes from the most unlikely of places. But sometimes, it helps to got to the most likely place too… In this case, straight to the source. If you’re looking for some good online dating tips for men, why not ask other women who are online dating what tips they would give you?

To help out we surveyed over 3,000 women on the online dating site and app Zoosk and asked what their top online dating tips for men are. What we got was some great insight and some short, but sweet tips men can start using right away.

Here are their 33 online dating tips for men: 

1. “Be honest from the beginning! Kindness truly is hot, so if you’re trying to impress a woman, that’s an excellent place to start.”

2. “Don’t just say hi, personalize your message at least a little. You don’t have to write a novel, but a couple of sentences so that I know you’re aren’t just fishing helps a lot.”

3. “When you take a picture for your profile, make sure we can see your eyes.”

4. “Like, winks, etc. are how women give you the signal to message them.”

5. “If you’re chatting with me and we have a lot in common and you like me, let me know. I want to move forward to see if we should meet.”

6. “Don’t use the word drama in your profile. Life is full of ups and downs—that’s what gives life color and depth. Using that word makes the assumption that women are the only ones that are involved in drama.”

7. “Smile! (I’m always amazed at how many men have pictures of them frowning or not smiling.)”

8. “With online dating, you need to find the right balance between chatting online and having real-life experiences. If you go too long chatting, you can turn into a pen pal.”

9. “Have a good, recent photo. Don’t have pictures of your cars or other trophies and don’t crop out former significant others and leave behind a hand on your shoulder.”

10. “Don’t limit yourself to finding true love in a 5 mile radius. Your soulmate may live further away than that.”

11. “Say something! Don’t keep sending hearts or smiley faces.”

12. “When approaching a woman, don’t start out with a compliment on her physical appearance, or just say hi or hey. Comment on something in her picture, but not her looks, or comment on something in her profile that caught your eye.”

13. “You aren’t trying to impress another man, you’re trying to impress a woman, which means, you might have to show a softer side. A slimy fish photo might not be the best thing to use in your profile.”

14. “Don’t start out by calling a woman sweetie or beautiful. Until you get to know someone that comes off as just another line.”

15. “Start a general conversation and go from there.”

16. “Don’t talk too much about yourself at first. Ask about her.”

17. “Be kind, be understanding, and above all be yourself.”

18. “Always end your conversations with a question to show you’re interested and want to continue talking.”

19. “Be strong and confident enough to know what you want and go for it.”

20. “Don’t text or email excessively. Exchange a few messages then ask about meeting. Coffee or a drink is best.”

21. “Asking for more photos is a turn off. Don’t do it.”

22. “Get to know her, and what she likes and dislikes. You want to build a friendship with her that builds up your relationship.”

23. “Make the first move by saying something fun and/or interesting.”

24. “Women are just as nervous and scared as men. Just talk to us like you would anyone else.”

25. “Take good pictures, ask me questions to get to know me better, make me laugh, and be open.”

26. “Never walk away from a conversation even if it’s online. Just tell her you have to go and talk later.”

27. “Be yourself from the very beginning. When you try to impress someone, your true self gets lost and that might be what the other person really wants.”

28. “Don’t be afraid to tell a woman how you really feel about something. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion and she will appreciate the honesty.”

29. “Give her a second chance if she’s shy.”

30. “Talk and chat like you’re hanging out with a friend at first.”

31. “Don’t look at a woman’s dating profile a million times and say nothing. Even hi is good if you’re at a loss for what to say.”

32. “Consider someone you might not usually be attracted to.”

33. “Approach online dating with an open heart. Everyone is a new person.”

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7 Online Dating Tips to Help You Attract Interesting People Fri, 23 Feb 2018 09:00:38 +0000 What you should be doing to stand out.

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Attracting people while dating online isn’t that hard, but attracting the people you’re really interested in… Well, that requires a bit of work. The good news is, it’s a whole lot easier than you think once you know what to do.

Here are 7 online dating tips to help you attract interesting people:

1. Your main profile picture should be you at your best.
Your main picture is your first impression so it needs to show you at your absolute best. People are visual creatures so this is important. This may take a bit of work if you don’t already have that perfect picture, but always remember, even if it takes a hundred tries to get that perfect photo, that one photo could attract the person who becomes the person you share the rest of your life with. Not too bad a deal for a few hours work is it?

2. The more pictures, the better.
Some online dating experts advise their clients to use no more than four pictures. I say nonsense. Data has shown that adding more pictures to your dating profile results in more inbound messages. We already know people are extremely visual. Keeping that in mind, each picture is a unique opportunity to draw someone’s attention and tell a different story about yourself.

The key is diversity. Eight photos of you standing alone is off-putting, boring, and doesn’t reveal anything unique about you from picture to picture. Eight or more pictures capturing you in different positive aspects of your life, (like a travel picture, a photo with your family, you finishing the last 10k you ran, or your Halloween costume), will tell a story that people get interested in, and ultimately, will want to be a part of.

3. Be playful and flirtatious.
If you were to meet someone you liked at a bar, how would you let them know? You’d probably smile a lot, touch their arm, lean in when you talk, or give any number of visual and verbal cues that communicate interest.

Well in the online world all you have is your words and the characters on a keyboard to let the person know you’re interested and attracted. Use them to your advantage. Exclamation points, emoticons, emojis, and innocent G-rated flirting are all great ways to let someone know you’re into them. Just use all of these things in moderation or it will backfire—you don’t want to look like teenager!

A lot of online dating is filled with boring small talk, so don’t be afraid to be the exception.

4. Never make a list of deal-breakers.
This may seem obvious, but a lot of people still do it. Making a list of deal breakers in your profile is one of the worst mistakes you can make.

You will never scare off the people you’re not interested in by listing all the qualities that you don’t want in a partner. But you may convince the good people out there that you’re overly picky, judgmental, or negative. This probably isn’t true, but it’s how it comes across. So stay positive and focus on the things you’re looking for instead of the things you’re not looking for.

5. Understand that people have short attention spans.
People are insanely busy these days. In fact, you’re probably so busy right now that you’re simply skimming this article. Did I catch you? It’s okay, I forgive you.

When it comes to online dating, you have to overcome all the noise and distractions life brings by being economical with your words, structuring your profile properly, and packing the most punch into every word you write.

The ideal structure for a profile is 5-6 mini paragraphs of 2-3 sentences each with each section focusing on a different aspect of your life. This allows someone to both skim for information, or read your profile like a well-crafted story if they choose to.

If you’re on a site that uses email, as a rule they should take no more than 60 seconds to read and 2-3 minutes to respond to. This can increase slightly as the responses begin to snowball, but it’s a good rule of thumb in the beginning.

6. Size up the competition.
Ok, so it’s not really a competition but there are a lot of people on online dating sites that you can learn from. Researching your competition can be extremely helpful if you’re not sure what to say in your profile. Take a look at a lot of profiles and see how you compare. What do some profiles do better or more effectively than you do? Which profiles would you be most attracted to? After you have your answers, use this knowledge to your advantage and adjust your own profile.

7. Stand out from the competition
What qualities do you have that shine the most? Is it your humor? Is it your sense of adventure? Is it your passion for volunteering? Maybe it’s all of the above. Figure out what it is about you that’s worth highlighting and then make sure these qualities are showcased in your photo and your profile.

If you’re new to online dating, it can seem confusing at first but at the end of the day it’s about putting your best self out there and connecting with people and getting to know them. Don’t forget to have fun with it!


Joshua Pompey has been helping people become better online daters since 2009. To learn more and browse his free guides visit his website at

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How to Avoid Romance Scams Wed, 14 Feb 2018 17:57:21 +0000 5 tips that can help you spot a scammer.

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It’s no secret that social media and digital dating products have made it easier for people to connect, communicate, and meet up with each other. When you’re online dating it can be a lot of fun and it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of meeting new people. But while you’re having fun, it’s important to remember that some people aren’t always what they seem and you still need to watch out for yourself.

It’s an unfortunate reality that as the popularity of social networking and dating sites has grown, some people have seen them as an opportunity to deceive others. The majority of online daters are people who are genuinely interested in meeting someone and starting a relationship, but online dating scammers  and romance scams do exist.

To help you learn how to tell the difference between someone who’s legit and someone’s who’s looking to take advantage of you, Zoosk has teamed up with Sift Science to create a few tips on how to avoid dating site fraud.

Online dating is a great way to meet your match. More people than ever are using online dating to meet someone they’re interested in. The downside? Some of those people might be fraudsters. According to the FBI, Americans lost $230 million to romance scams in 2016. That was a whopping $10,000 per victim. And only 15% of fraud victims report their losses to the FBI, so the real number could be higher. The majority of online daters are real people who are genuinely looking for someone. So how do you know who’s the real deal? Spotting a scammer can be really easy once you know what to look for. We partnered with dating site Zoosk to put together a few tips to help you stay safe. Be vigilant. Don’t get so excited about someone that you forget to look out for yourself. If your admirer is overly passionate, declaring their love within moments of meeting you or asking you to be in a relationship immediately, they could be trying to gain your trust to take advantage of you. Be proactive. Don’t be afraid to Google your admirer. The only thing better than a romantic aura of mystery is not getting scammed. Be alert. Look out for red flags that your admirer isn’t who they say they are: many spelling and grammar errors, inconsistent stories, excuses about why they can’t meet up or talk on the phone, or details that don’t add up. If your admirer says they have a job that always requires them to be out of the country or unable to communicate with you, that might be a red flag, too. Be smart. Don’t be too quick to share personal information or photos with people you haven’t met. They could use them to scam or blackmail you. And if your admirer starts demanding your information, run as fast as you can. Be cautious. Never send money to a stranger. If your admirer ever asks you for money in any form — such as bitcoin, wire transfer, or money order — they’re probably a fraudster. And if they ever ask you to transfer money for them, they’re probably laundering money.

So now that you know the basics, here are some specific red flags to watch out for:

Tip #1: NEVER give someone money. 
Bottom line, there is no reason for anyone to ask you for money or your financial information while you’re online dating. Ever. If someone asks you for money, stop your communications and report him or her immediately.

Tip #2: Don’t get tricked into moving communication off of the app too soon.
Because dating apps are actively trying to catch fraudsters, the fraudster will often try to get you to move your communication off of the app as soon as they can. That way they have more information about you (such as your email or your phone number) and it’s less likely they’ll get caught. And if your new love suddenly isn’t a member anymore, they may have been a fraudster who got caught and had their account disabled. So get to know someone better on the app you’re using, then give out your contact information once you know more about them.

Tip #3: Claiming to be in the military, on an oil rig, or working overseas are common stories scammers tell. 
Because scammers need to have a believable reason why they can’t meet up with you, they use a few of the same scenarios—working on an oil rig or serving in the military are two of the most common, but be weary of anyone who’s always making excuses about why they can’t meet up with you in person.

Tip #4: Scammers often get the details wrong. 
Because scammers are communicating with a lot of potential victims at once, they often get details like your name or even their own name wrong. Other red flags are if the person you’re talking to is always vague, repeats the things you say, or dodges your questions and doesn’t answer them.

Want to learn more about romance scams? Check out Sift Science’s infographic on Fraud in the World of Online Dating or take a look at some of the examples of things scammers say in Zoosk’s Online Dater’s Guide to Romance Scams.

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5 Online Dating Tips to Help You Meet More Interesting People Wed, 13 Sep 2017 18:51:00 +0000 Sarah and Chase from the I Do Podcast share their online dating cheat sheet.

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Let’s face it, online dating can be tough. You might be asking yourself things like:

“How do I fill out my profile?”

“What’s the best way to send an initial message?”

“When should I respond to messages?”

And many other nerve-racking important questions. So how can you stand out from the crowd and attract more quality dates? As part of our I Do Podcast, my husband Chase and I interview today’s most successful and inspiring relationship experts, therapists, and couples to answer questions just like these. This week we teamed up with the Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix, Megan Murray, to create this awesome Ultimate Cheat Sheet for Online Dating.

Zoosk is an online dating site and app that has over 40 million members. So they know a thing or two about our dating tendencies and what works for their successful members. These tips compliment our interview with Megan in episode 112: Don’t Make These Online Dating Mistakes. In the interview we go even more in-depth with online dating tips, so if you haven’t listened and are craving more, listen to episode #112.

1. Fill out your dating profile.
When it comes to setting up your dating profile, most people would say photos are the most important part. In a way, they’d be right—the majority of online daters do pay attention to your photos more than any other part of your profile, but new data shows that your dating profile description may be just as important.

People who fill out their description actually get 28% more messages than those who don’t. But that’s not all, they also get 14% more likes and 8% more profile views.

If you’re using a dating site that requires a display name, make sure to fill that out too. Daters who didn’t have a display name got 20% fewer messages than those who did.

They found that daters who fill out the description of the person they’re looking for can get up to 31% more messages, while those who described their favorite date got 21% more messages.

2. Don’t bother saying hello.
Wait… what? No hello? That’s right. According to Zoosk data, using a greeting like hello or hi actually gets you fewer messages.

Saying hey gets you 35% fewer messages.
Saying howdy gets you 19% fewer messages.
Saying hello gets you 21% fewer messages.
Saying hi gets you 22% fewer messages.
Saying what’s up gets you 10% fewer messages.

So what’s so bad about saying hello? Well, when you’re trying to start a conversation with someone online, just saying hi (or hey, howdy, or hello) isn’t very helpful. Woman (and men!) see a lot of the same “Hi, how are you?” and “What’s up?” types of messages every day and it puts the pressure on them to come up with an entertaining response. Instead of saying hi, try diving right in with something like “You went to Jefferson High? Me too!” or, even better, “What’s up with all this crazy rain we’ve been having?”

3. Talk about the weather.
This one may seem counterintuitive. After all, what could be more mundane than the weather? But according to the data, first messages with the word weather get 39% more replies. And if the weather is bad, it’s even better for you. Messages with the word rain get 20% more messages, while sun actually gets 6% fewer messages than the average. The reason? It’s hard to say. But it could be that talking about something going on locally (like severe weather) is just an easy, universal way to start a conversation. While just bringing up that the sun’s out, is a little boring and makes for a lame start.

4. Don’t wait to respond.
If you’re wondering where to focus your efforts, instead of messaging new people or making new matches, reply to the people you’ve already messaged first. It seems like a normal thing to do but a lot of people overlook it.

According to Zoosk, if you want to get a reply back and keep the conversation going, reply back to messages within the day.

Men who message women back in the same day have a 62% response rate. Men who wait a day to message a woman have a 50% response rate, which is a 24% decrease. Men who wait two days before responding have a 45% response rate.

When it comes to online dating, the two day rule definitely does not apply.

5. Remove your filters. 
According to Zoosk data, using filters while online dating may actually make it harder for you to meet someone you’re interested in. People who use filters tend to find a lot of people they’re interested in, so they’re more engaged in reaching out to those people and starting a conversation. However, they’re not leading to a deeper connection.

So what does the data mean for those of us trying to find someone? Well, while we often have a pretty good idea of what we’re looking for in another person, it may pay off to be more open-minded. Maybe we don’t actually know what we’re looking for until we find it.

To hear the full interview and get more tips about online dating and relationships check out Episode 112 of the I Do Podcast with Sarah and Chase: Don’t Make These Online Dating Mistakes. And to get more great advice to improve your relationship and fun ways to keep the spark alive, check out the I Do Podcast on iTunes or download the show directly.

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Why the End of Summer Is One of the Best Times to Online Date Tue, 25 Jul 2017 00:10:11 +0000 When's the best time to look for your summer love?

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We’ve all heard about summer loves and summer flings but are all the songs and sayings really true? Do more people look for love during the summer than the rest of the year. According to online dating data, the answer is yes.

The online dating site an app Zoosk paired up with AskMen, and looked into data from their over 40 million members to see if they really do use the site more in the summer than the rest of the year, and found some very interesting details.

Online dating data infographic about why summer love is a real thing.

1. Lots of people taking a break from dating come back in July and August. 
Other than January (which is the most popular month for online dating due to New Year’s resolutions) July and August are the months when the most people resubscribe with a dating site. So if you’re looking to take advantage of the extra large dating pool, late summer is the time to do it.

2. July is a peak time for people trying online dating for the first time.
Though the summer as a whole doesn’t see that many more people signing up than the rest of the year, there is a small peak in July. Sign ups are 13% higher in July compared to June and 6% higher compared to August.

3. August is the peak time for women trying online dating. 
After looking into the data more, Zoosk also found that women sign up for online dating 6% more in August than any other month.

4. Women also reply to more messages in August. 
It’s hard to say what it is about August—the sun, the heat, the certain something in the air—but women really like it. No only to they sign up more in August but they also reply to messages 10% more. 

5. People are more active later in the summer.
When it comes to activity on the site, daters tend to ramp up their dating efforts later in the summer. In fact, people are 21% more active in July and August than they are in May or June. That means they’re sending 18% more winks, initiating 17% more conversations, and sending 21% more messages.

So if you’re looking to find your summer love, now is the time!

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