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Tinder Icebreakers: Master the Art of Starting a Conversation

A girl responding to a Tinder icebreaker that got her attention and made her want to message back.

You found someone you liked, swiped right, and were rewarded with a match. So…now what? One of the hardest parts about using Tinder is knowing how to start a conversation. If you notice that you’re getting lots of matches but not a lot of replies to your messages, it’s time to rethink your opening line. Let’s talk about the art of Tinder icebreakers.

Tinder icebreakers need to be fun, creative, and flirty without being aggressive, pushy, or demanding. You want your message to feel personalized, even though in reality, you’re chatting with multiple people at once. And you want to grab their attention, even though you don’t want to be cheesy. (No pressure, right?) It’s hard to strike the proper balance and stand out on Tinder, but with the right opening lines, it can be done.

Here are some Tinder icebreakers to help show you how it’s done:

1. Say hey with a GIF.
A GIF can be a great conversation starter when paired with an opening line. You could send an appropriate reaction GIF and say, “Me when I read your profile.” People love GIFs, and they’re more likely to get a response. They’re also more likely to have conversations that last twice as long. Just don’t use GIFs as a crutch or substitute them for actual words. You still need to do some talking.

2. Tell a joke.
To quote Marilyn Monroe: “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.” Why not set up a punch line and see if they bite? It’s a low-risk way to start a conversation, and you’ll definitely make them smile.

3. DON’T comment on appearances.
Compliments are nice, but unfortunately, they don’t mean much on dating apps—especially not to women. Women receive dozens of messages every day that start with “Hey sexy” or “You’re gorgeous.” It’s a nice thought, but it’s not exactly original. Lead with something else—anything else—and your chances of getting a response will already be higher from the get go.

4. Engage them in conversation.
As simple and polite as a good old fashioned “hey there” is, that just won’t cut it anymore. Ask them a question that makes them think or lets them tell you a little about themselves. Try asking, “What’s the last spontaneous thing you did?” or “What’s the last great vacation you took?”

5. Explain why you swiped right.
So you swiped right. Well, you’re not the only one. One way to stand out is by commenting on something you noticed in their profile. Make an effort to explain why their profile caught your eye. And no, it can’t be, “Wow, you’re hot.” Did you attend the same college? Do you love scuba diving, too? People write their Tinder profiles to get noticed, so comment on it.

6. If you want to use a one-liner, make it good.
The beauty of an icebreaker is it doesn’t have to make perfect sense; it just has to start a conversation and give you something to talk about. Pickup lines can be terrible, but when used correctly, they can work. Come up with a catchy question that people can’t help but reply to, like, “Would you rather have a dog with a cat’s personality, or a cat with a dog’s personality?” The good thing is once you formulate your perfect one-liner you can use it on everybody. Nobody will ever know.

7. When all else fails, talk about food.
Yes, really. Food is the great equalizer. Everybody likes to talk about it. Ask, “If you could eat any food right now, what would you eat?” or “Do you spring for guac at Chipotle?” Just don’t let your mind wander into the gutter.

Try these Tinder icebreakers and see what works for you. As long as you keep things simple and polite, you’ll be chatting up a storm in no time.

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