Over 50 Dating – The Date Mix https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters Sun, 18 Mar 2018 08:00:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5 7 Things You Should Know About Senior Dating https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/over-50-dating/senior-dating-tips/ Tue, 13 Feb 2018 09:00:57 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=16022 There are a lot more people dating over 60 than you may think, and they're not so 'senior' either.

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Can we tell you a secret? Dating is intimidating at every age. But it can also be fun, adventurous, and incredibly rewarding. Especially senior dating. Make no mistake: Dating is not just for young people. Dating is very common among adults who are older. If you’re considering getting back in the dating game, you absolutely should!

Before you make an online profile or start hitting the closest bar, here are seven things to know about dating when you’re older.

1. You’re not alone!
The media paints a picture of online dating as a young person’s game. But in reality, there are many senior citizens looking for love and companionship online. If you’re thinking about trying online dating, don’t let the idea that it’s all young people stop you. There are plenty of people who meet your criteria just waiting for a message from you.

2. First dates are different than they used to be— but that’s a good thing.
You’re not a first-time dater. It may have been a while since you’ve been on a date, but, chances are, you’re not new to romance and relationships. Which means you’ll be able to tell if you’ll hit it off with someone pretty quickly. There’s more honesty, less games, and fewer mixed signals when you’re dating . And being able to assert what you want and what you don’t want is a great feeling.

3. Age doesn’t matter as much.
When you were in your twenties and thirties, dating someone a few years your junior or senior felt like a BIG deal. Many young people still dismiss potentially great matches because they’re turned off by the idea of an age difference. But the older you get, the less age matters. Embrace it—it’s incredibly freeing.

4. Looks matter, but not in the same way.
Ask any young person what the most important part of someone’s online dating profile is, and we guarantee they’ll all say the game thing: their picture. But much like age, looks don’t matter in the same way. Sure, older daters still want to find someone who’s attractive, but they also know that there’s more to someone than their appearance. Looks still matter, but appearance isn’t the top priority, and it’s rarely a deal-breaker.

5. There are online dating sites and services specifically for you.
These days, you can find an online dating app tailored to just about any type of lifestyle, interest, or hobby. And the same goes for older people who are dating. There are apps and matchmaking services that cater to helping seniors find love, romance, and partnership. That said, you’ll find older daters on just about every online dating app and platform. Like we said before, there are more people out there dating than you think!

6. Your priorities might be different.
Younger daters focus on things like chemistry and common interests. And while those are still important things to look for, most people who are dating over 50 or 60 are more interested in other qualities. Like someone they can have a great time with. Many may not even be looking for marriage, just companionship. The more you date as a senior, the more you may realize that your priorities have changed. And if they have, that’s ok.

7. Be prepared for the return of your inner teenager.
It may have been a while since you were last out in the dating world. And even though some things have changed, one thing hasn’t: Firsts are still as exciting as ever. Remember the heart-pounding excitement of firsts? First phone calls, first dates, first kisses. When you’re dating in your older years, you’ll get to experience the rush of firsts all over again. If you find yourself blushing, grinning, or fighting back butterflies, don’t worry—those are all great signs!

See? So called ‘senior dating’ isn’t like dating was when you were younger, it’s even better.

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Dating Over 50: Taking the Leap https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/over-50-dating/dating-over-50-taking-leap/ Sun, 17 Dec 2017 09:00:58 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15656 Find the humor in life and maybe you’ll meet someone ready to take the leap with you.

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If you’ve been married or in a relationship for a long time, the thought of dating again can make anyone break out in a sweat and want to binge watch rom-coms on Netflix. Not to worry, you can do this. Here are seven things to keep in mind as you begin the adventure of dating over 50:

Don’t even think of it as dating.
Instead, think of it as an opportunity to fling yourself out into the universe and see what comes back. Chatting up someone in line at the movies or the market is always a good idea. You never know where little moments of connection can lead. One of my personal favorites is asking directions from the handsome guy on the corner. (He doesn’t need to know that you’re anything but lost.)

Switch it up.
Men tend to go out on their own and are comfortable at a bar or event. Women, on the other hand, like to go out with their gal pals. So we have men in sports bars and women in wine bars. Unless you want to keep meeting your own kind, switch it up. Ladies, it won’t kill you to go to a game now and then. And don’t go out with a gaggle of gals. Do you know how hard it is for a man to approach a group of women to start a conversation? Go out by yourself sometimes.

Find a local spot to make your own.
Remember Cheers? The eponymous TV show/bar where everyone knows your name? I’m sure there’s a place like that near you where you can be comfortable. I know the best bartenders within a 10-mile radius of my apartment. I tip them heavily and they take care of me whether I’m with friends or on my own.

Dress the part.
Men, going to a fashion event may help break you of the Hawaiian shirt phenomena, while giving you access to many lovely ladies. And please, wear a sports jacket! Every man looks good in one and a white button down shirt is classic. Ladies, on the other hand, could button up a bit. Leave the cleavage and high slit skirts for later in the game. Mystery matters!

Make room for surprises to happen.
You know when you travel to a new place, how things tend to happen? It’s because you are out and about and don’t always know what’s next. That’s a good way to look at life where you live. You don’t have to plan everything—Live in the moment. Explore. Go to a museum. Or to painting night at bar. You may even discover a hidden talent.

Don’t be afraid to make the first move.
Men typically take the initiative and approach a woman first. But I think waiting for anything is over. The last time I batted my eyelashes at someone across the room, it looked like I was suffering from dry eye. When you’re on a date, and feel the moment is right for that first kiss, do it. You’ve been around long enough to trust your instincts. In less intimate situations, be prepared to make the first move too. Always carry either a business or a personal card. You can get really fun ones made online. Customize them with your pic and don’t be afraid to give yourself a tagline. i.e. The last good woman on earth. (Oh wait, that’s mine.)

Don’t take it too seriously.
Keep in mind, the human condition is agonizingly funny. We all make fools of ourselves at one time or another. So laugh, flirt, and enjoy this time. You will never be younger than you are right now! Even if there isn’t that one grand love, there will be other things. With any luck, there will friendship, maybe romance. And if there is a god, there will be dancing! Find the humor in life and maybe you’ll meet someone ready to take the leap with you.

P.S. As I was writing this article, I met a guy at a café! A younger man. But that will be another story.

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Dating a Widower: 10 Things You Need to Know When Starting a Relationship https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/dating-a-widower/ Fri, 15 Dec 2017 09:00:42 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15690 How to respect the loss they've experienced while also respecting your own needs.

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When you’re dating someone who’s lost a spouse or partner, you’re entering an area of dating that not many people have experience of. You may worry that this person is always going to be talking about their spouse or that he or she will never give you the type of relationship you want. While those concerns are expected, they’re often not the case. Some people grieve over their lost partners, others may not have had the marriage they wanted. More often than not, it’s complicated. But your relationship with them doesn’t have to be.

Here are 10 tips for dating a widower you should know when starting your relationship:

1. Don’t get offended.
It may take a while for you to have a relationship that’s as strong as their deceased partner, or you may never be put on the same pedestal. “When someone loses a spouse, they usually idolize the lost partner on some level, so don’t be threatened if they refer to them in adoring ways,” explains licensed psychologist, Dr. Wyatt Fisher.

2. Don’t ask for too much information about their spouse.
Being a good listener is key in any relationship, but when you’re dating a widower don’t dig for information they don’t want to share. “It takes time to get to know someone and understand them,” explains Stef Safran, a relationship expert and dating coach. “Asking a lot of personal questions is no shortcut.”

3. Take it slow.
Each person is different and it will take time to learn if the person you’re with is ready to be in a relationship again, so try to mirror the pace they’re taking. “It wouldn’t be any different than dealing with someone who’s divorced. It sometimes can take time to see if someone is ready for the relationship that you are,” says Safran.

4. Honor the memory.
Regardless of how often they bring up the deceased, it’s important to respect them. “When they bring up memories of their deceased spouse, be sure to honor them with respectful language, such as ‘sounds like they were a great person’ or ‘I’m so sorry for what you’re going through,” says Fisher.

5. Watch out for warning signs.
If your significant other is comparing you to their deceased spouse constantly or if there’s incessant talk about the death, it could be that they’re stuck in grief and it could get pathological. Get out if this sounds like your relationship, explains international dating coach, Cynthia Spillman. “He or she may not be emotionally available right now, but keep the door open if you want to.”

6. You may not be included.
Be prepared for potential animosity. Spillman says this can come from his former in-laws as well as any children and even friends. “If they have children, don’t try and be their mother [or father]. The best you can hope to be to them is a good friend.”

7. Take honest stock of your expectations.
It’s unpredictable and your date may be cycling in and out of the stages of grief, explains relationship expert, Linda F. Williams. “They may do more talking about their spouse than you might be in the mood to hear. But you’ll do the relationship a disservice if you expect them to compartmentalize that part of their lives. Focus on the friendship first. From there you might be more patient as they move through the process of grief.”

8. Watch out for the rebound.
“Sometimes when someone loses a spouse they try to find someone to fill the void. Be careful that person isn’t you. Be cautious dating anyone who has lost their spouse within the last 6-12 months,” says Fisher.

9. Don’t try to fill a void left by the loss.
Nobody can. That’s too much pressure for anybody, and you shouldn’t take it on yourself. “If it appears that he or she is seeking someone to fill a hole their spouse has left, have an honest conversation about the matter. Then, based on that information, you might decide to permanently, or temporarily, end the relationship.” says Williams.

10. Do realize that widowers can make wonderful partners.
“Sometimes there isn’t the bitterness that divorce can entail and sometimes there is a chance for their significant other to express that they want them to find love again,” says Safran.

Losing someone is always hard, but losing a spouse is a profound experience that effects much more than your single status. With the loss of a loved one, a whole life can change. When dating someone who’s a widower, respect the loss they’ve experienced and the changes they may have went through or may still be going through. But also respect yourself. It may be that you have a wonderful relationship with a wonderful person ahead of you, or it may be that your time with this person is another chance to grow.

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60-Year-Old Men in Relationships: What You Need to Know https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/over-50-dating/60-year-old-men-in-relationships/ Fri, 01 Sep 2017 08:00:48 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=15038 Experts tell you what to expect.

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For women looking date older men, or who are already dating someone 60 or older, many of the rules and expectations you’ve grown accustomed to in your youth have drastically changed. For example, when dating older men, you’re dealing with someone who has decades of life experience, compared to someone in their 30s or 40s, who may still be figuring out their life. On the flip side, some tried and true dating rules apply regardless of how old you get. If you’re wondering what 60-year-old men in relationships are like, here’s what some of the experts say you should expect. 

1. They’re not good at talking about their feelings.
Men, in general, are not good about expressing their feelings and even more so for men who are older. “Few men in the over 60 generation are practiced in talking about their feelings. This means that patience is the key to getting men to reveal their emotions, and it’s key for women not to judge what men share because that will turn them off sharing with you again,” says Ken Solin, a relationship author and columnist.

2. You’re competing with lots of other women. 
Single men over 60 are a vanishing demographic. “Men in America die five years earlier than women. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, for every single man aged 60 there are three and a half single women,” says Rich Gosse, author and chairman of The Society of Single Professionals.

3. They generally do not date women in their own age bracket.
“The average 60-year-old woman dates 68-year-old men (and there are very few bachelors still alive and dating in this age bracket). The solution is to date younger, not older men,” says Gosse.

4. Be ready to ditch the old geezer stereotype.
“It doesn’t always hold true since many older men exercise regularly, still work, and actively pursue their hobbies. So, if you assume you’re in for a boring, slow relationship, you could be wrong. If anything, many guys in their 60s have a lot of material resources and want to live life to the fullest,” says Jonathan Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship coach. You might be in for more of an adventure than you expected.

5. Many men over 60 are still looking for hot, sexy women. 
Every man has his own definition of what is hot and sexy. “In many cases, these men may look for younger women because they’re still interested in having sex, but not necessarily in building relationships. Their minds are still locked into what turned them on when they were younger,” says Davida Rappaport, an adult dating expert.

6. They rather settle quickly than date extensively. 
“My date-coaching clients over 60 frequently ask why men go immediately from one relationship to the next without any pause. I explain that few men take the time to process their feelings regarding a failed relationship, preferring to jump into the next one instead. I advise my clients not to date any men divorced less than a year for this reason,” says Solin.

7. They still want sex. 
“Just because people are older doesn’t mean their sex drive is non-existent. In fact, from 2000-2010, the CDC reported that STDs among older individuals doubled. There’s a good chance the guy you date will have a strong sex drive and the ability to act on it,” says Bennett.

8. Many men over 60 are retired. 
“These men often want to travel and are on the go—looking for adventures and new things to do and explore. If you’re able to take time off and travel—weekends and/or otherwise, there are a lot of men out there who are looking for you. However, if you’re not financially equipped or have too many obligations, these types of men are not for you,” says Rappaport.

9. Some men over 60 may have young children still. 
“If you’re prepared to deal with an ex-wife and make time to do things with your guy’s children, you might be ok looking for someone with young children or shared custody arrangements,” says Rappaport.

10. Don’t hold your breath if he says, “I’ll call you.” 
Often there is no follow up. “It’s difficult for men to look a women in the eye and tell her he’s not interested in seeing her again,” explains Solin. “So, instead they utter the famous three words. Women should look a man in the eye at the end of a coffee date and ask him whether or not he’s interested in another date.”

11. They’re technically savvy. 
Newsflash! Men over 60 use smartphones…”More older men than ever are using social media, smartphones, and other electronic methods to connect with others, including people they date. So, even if a guy is older, you can’t assume he’s technologically illiterate. If you want to keep his time and attention, you might have to embrace new technology, just to keep up,” says Bennett.

12. People over sixty have full lives.
“Children, grandchildren, work, groups, etc., so finding time to be dating or be with someone who is more mature can be a bit difficult to schedule. You will figure it out if you both are willing to make the time,” says Rappaport.

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7 Things Men Should Know About Women in Their 50s https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/over-50-dating/7-things-men-know-women-50s/ Sun, 28 May 2017 08:00:14 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=14631 You won't have to worry about biological clocks ticking or strained conversations.

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If you’re a man in his 50s who has taken a break from dating after some time or are re-entering the dating scene for the first time in decades, it’s hard to know what to expect. Dating in your 50s is pretty much what you remember from your 20s—it’s still exciting and nerve-wrecking, while communication and connection continue to be important. However, dating women in their 50s compared to women in their 20s is a completely different experience.

Dating a woman in her 50s means you’re dating a woman who is finished with repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story.

If that sounds exciting to you, here are seven additional things to keep in mind about women in their 50s.

1. They don’t always need a relationship.  
A woman in her 50s has learned that she doesn’t need a relationship in order to be happy. She has a full life, including close friends, family, and plenty of hobbies and interests. So if a woman in her 50s is interested in dating you, chances are she thinks you’re worth her time. If you turn out to be just another dependent, she’ll simply move on because a woman in her 50s is very rarely clingy.

2. They know what they want.
A woman in her 50s knows what she wants in life, including in her relationships. Which is why she is way better at choosing a compatible partner than she ever was in her 20s. Her maturity also means she can easily communicate her wants—outside or inside of the bedroom—clearly and effectively. There aren’t any guessing games with a woman in her 50s. If you can’t do the same, she’ll show you the door.

3. They’re sexy AF.
If you ever doubted the sexiness of a woman in her 50s, then take a look at Elle Macpherson, Cindy Crawford, or Michelle Pfeiffer. They’re all women in their 50s who are just as gorgeous and sexy, if not more so, than they were in their 20s and 30s. A woman in her 50s knows the importance of taking care of herself, which includes working out, eating well, and receiving regular spa treatments. If anything, her age has bestowed a newfound confidence that is nothing short of hot.

4. They’re not worried about their biological clock.
More than likely a woman in her 50s already has kids who are now grown up or moving out of her house any day now. Her schedule is no longer tied down to shuttling between baseball practice and doctor appointments, nor is she pressured to find “The One” ASAP due to a ticking biological clock. She is free to enjoy getting to know you, and letting your relationship flow easily. If you’re also a father, her maternal instinct means she’ll have no trouble bonding with her brood, either. Bonus? Her time and attention is primarily dedicated to you.

5. They can make conversation.
No longer awkward or uncomfortable due to the inexperience and insecurity of her youth, a woman in her 50s knows not only on how to hold a conversation, but she also knows how to steer one. She’ll let you talk about yourself, while also ensuring she shares enough about herself. Her confidence means she isn’t afraid to be vulnerable and laugh at herself either. Expect a smooth, flowy conversation peppered with witty jokes that will surely make your night.

6. They’re over their exes.
More than likely, a woman who’s dating in her 50s is over her ex. This means she doesn’t want to bond over your baggage either. She’s not down to reminisce about past hurts or regrets, and she’s mature enough to halt any negative speak about her ex or yours. She’s intent to move forward with her life, and hopefully, with you in it.

7. They’re happier than ever. 
A woman in her 50s is happier than she’s ever been. She’s probably experienced more than enough of Oprah’s infamous “aha” moments to understand and accept (and love) who she is. She’s no longer riddled with the anxiety and insecurity of her 20s and 30s. She appreciates life for all that it is, including both the ups and downs, and is committed to making the most out of the time she has.

Like a fine wine, a woman in her 50s has only gotten better with time. If you’re lucky enough to date her, it’s sure to be an extraordinary experience.



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11 Myths About Dating Over 50 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/over-50-dating/11-myths-dating-50/ Wed, 22 Mar 2017 08:00:47 +0000 https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/?p=14273 Midlife dating experts debunk assumptions we have about over 50 dating.

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There are a lot of misconceptions about men and women dating over 50 and what they do and don’t want in a relationship.  Many assume they’re more committed, mature, and ready for a relationship, or that they’re possibly looking for someone younger. But are they really?

Dating over 50 can be and incredibly fun and rewarding experience. You know more about yourself, what you want, and other people you’re interested in. But it has its challenges too.

To help you get the most of your time, we talked to dating coaches who specialize in midlife relationships to learn the 11 myths (and the truths they’re hiding) about dating over 50.

Myth #1:  Men and women who have children or are divorced have more baggage than those who never married.
The Truth: Everyone has baggage, it’s not exclusive to divorced people with children. “Even those who may have children without having been married or those who never married or had children may have elderly parents that need special care,” says Davida Rappaport, a psychic, personal growth counselor, and mature dating expert. “Most mature men and women do not abandon their responsibilities and obligations. This can impact any prospective dating situation, kids or no kids.”

Myth #2:  Men and women aren’t interested in sex after age 50.
The Truth: Certain medical conditions that come with age—menopause or impotence for example—can make sex more difficult, but it doesn’t negate the fact that most people, regardless of age, still want and enjoy sex. “In a Gallup survey sponsored by the North American Menopause Society, 51 percent of postmenopausal women reported being happiest and most fulfilled between the ages of 50 and 65,” notes Bobbi Palmer, a dating and relationship coach for women over 40 and founder of Date Like a Grownup.

Myth #3:  Men still love the chase.
The Truth: Even if they once were that guy, most grownup men no longer see the value in the challenge of chasing women. “First, the woman-to-man ratio is now in their favor and they don’t have to compete like they did in their 20s. Also, their hormones have mellowed and they have broadened their vision of themselves; reducing the need to rack up sexual conquests,” says Palmer. Not to mention, midlife men have more responsibilities and don’t have the time and energy to play cat and mouse.

Myth #4:  Men and women in their 50s are looking for someone their own age.
The Truth: In some instances, yes. However, a large portion of these daters still behave like they’re in their 20s and 30s. “Some older men may be motivated by eye appeal and still want what they wanted back then, or still desire to have children with someone younger. While some women are looking for age-appropriate men, some still like younger men,” says Rappaport.

Myth #5: Daters over 50 are looking for a wealthy partner who can support them.
The Truth: Men and women over 50 are looking for someone who is at a similar financial level; someone who can carry his/her own weight. “They prefer someone who will desire a similar level of extravagance of lifestyle in terms of recreation and travel, and can eventually share equally in expenses,” says Heidi Krantz, a certified dating coach and founder of Reinvention Life Coaching.

Myth #6: Men and women become less selective as they get older.

The Truth: Men and women are just as picky as they were when they were younger. “They may want a partner that is still attractive with a nice body; they may request someone who looks their age and whose body is less than perfect. People still look for a type which can become harder and harder to find once someone reaches their late 50s and beyond,” says Rappaport.

Myth #7: Men in midlife want younger women.  Therefore, older women are at a disadvantage because there are more, younger options for older men.
The Truth: There are plenty of men who want to date someone their own age or older! “The reality is that in that deal-breaker list that most people who date have, age is a sliding number. What people really look for is attraction, and that can be a mystique, a spark, a great sense of humor or a compatibility based on feeling really good when you’re with that person,” says April Masini, a relationship and etiquette expert.

Myth #8:  Men and women in midlife don’t need love.  They’re fine on their own.
The Truth: The need to love and be loved remains strong throughout our lives. Palmer points to a study by AARP that showed 70% of 50-64 year-olds and 63% of people 65+ reported being currently in love. Of those over 65, 46% reported being passionately in love. “Don’t underestimate the intensity with which we can both give and receive love later in life,” says Palmer.

Myth#9: Daters over 50 are more mature and have learned how to treat prospective dates respectfully.
The Truth: Some people never grow up which can be why they’re still on the market. “Some older men will still treat women disrespectfully—they catfish, ghost, and all of the other things that their younger counterparts are doing. Self- esteem issues, in both men and women, can still exist and they may not be able to handle things in a mature, adult manner,” says Rappaport. The reality is, it doesn’t matter what someone’s age is, some people just do not want relationships and are only interested in hookups.

Myth #10: Men don’t desire women over 50.
The Truth: Men in midlife care a lot less about your appearance than they do about your enthusiasm, your interest, and your enjoyment. “While appearance is always important, many women feel paralyzed because they don’t have the body they did the last time they were single—sometimes decades ago. They may be surprised to find that they are desirable when they feel desirable,” says Masini.

Myth #11: People who are dating over 50 are dating to get married again.
The Truth: Not necessarily. Men and women dating over 50 have often experienced marriage previously; sometimes for many years. “After a divorce, they often spend time healing and become very accustomed to their own space, their independent lives, and their interactions with their adult children. Although they do desire companionship and even love, many are not interested in cohabitating or marrying,” says Krantz.



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