Flirting – The Date Mix Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters Fri, 15 Dec 2017 09:00:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 How to Make a Girl Laugh Over Text: A Step-by-Step Guide Wed, 12 Apr 2017 08:00:03 +0000 “If you make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything."

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“If you make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.” – Wise words spoken by none other than Marilyn Monroe, who, if she had Tinder in her day, would probably have been the most right-swiped woman of all time. If anyone could tell us how to make a girl laugh over text it would be her.

And I concur. A sense of humor goes a long way towards charming a girl, but in the age of text screens and lack of a sarcasm font, it can be really tough to convey a sense of humor—especially when you may not have met the person yet. So as a girl who would take a dad bod with bad puns over washboard abs and smooth lines any day, I’ve compiled a step-by-step guide that outlines how to make a girl laugh over text.

Step 1: Get a feel for what kind of humor she likes.
Not every girl finds the same things funny, and if you step out the gate with some off-base humor she doesn’t get or isn’t ready for, you could lose your allure. Ask her some questions that will give you a good idea of what she’s into—without sounding like you’re interviewing her for a magazine article.

Some examples: “Will Ferrell Movies, yea or nay?” “What did you think of [insert name here] hosting SNL?” “Have you seen that puppy/baby YouTube video?”

Does she like political satire? South Park? The Muppets? If she loves political humor you’ll have a lot to work with, but if she’s looking for a way to escape it, maybe don’t hit her with the latest burn from Bill Maher.

Step 2: Play to your strengths.
Take a moment and think about what your friends find most funny about you. You could even ask some platonic female friends what makes you charming. If your sassy comebacks and biting sarcasm are your strength, try and convey that via text, but pro-tip: don’t direct your sarcasm at her, at least not right off the bat. It could come off as aggressive if she doesn’t know you that well. Instead, share a quip about your boss or roommate.

If you’re silly, clumsy, animated, or into physical humor, that’s a little tougher to convey. But it’s a selfie world, and Snapchat filters are hilarious like, 80% of the time.  That dancing rabbit snap filter is not only comedy gold, it makes a great reaction gif.

Or, if you’re a good storyteller, share your less-than-smooth moments. Example: Once I offered my roommate a slice of bacon, then immediately bumped into him and knocked it out of his hands. In an effort to save the bacon from hitting the floor, I accidentally kicked it clean across the room. If you ever want to watch a 6’ 3 grown man drop everything he’s doing and dive across the kitchen, just throw bacon.

If that doesn’t have guys swooning over me, well damn, I don’t know what will.

Step 3: Know your memes.
Memes are great for two reasons. First, they convey the entire spectrum of human emotion, making the emotionally limited act of texting far more elastic. Second, everyone understands them. It’s what makes them a meme. They’re also so plentiful, you can easily tailor your meme usage to her interests. Is she into The Bachelor? Hit those Corinne memes hard. Was she an OG Spongebob fan? Ripe with opportunities. Just don’t overuse the meme angle. She’ll think you’re weird, or worse, one of those cave creatures that never gets off Tumblr.

Step 4: Make it personal
Drawing upon things you already know about her is great. It shows you’re paying attention, creates a connection, and she’ll be flattered. If she shared a bad day with you recently, tell her about how you got a parking ticket this morning, but it doesn’t stack up to that time she lost her favorite Chapstick. If she mentioned she’s into wine, ask for her professional opinion next time you’re cruising through the aisles at the liquor store, lest you land on Franzia because it’s dollar to ounce ratio is just too tempting.

Another hot tip – Bitojis turn you into cartoon form and put you into literally dozens of cute and charming scenarios, making conversation starters and reaction texts a breeze. And, if you’ve connected on Snapchat, Bitmoji will even put the two of you into ‘toons together.

Finally, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s all got to be genuine. The last thing you want is to meet up, and all that premeditated charm flies out the door. Be yourself. I can’t be here in the wings, Cyrano de Bergeracking you all, so find someone you connect with on a genuine level, and the giggles will come naturally. I promise. And in case you’re still nervous about all this, I’ll give you a hint: Gifs of clumsy puppies is every girl’s kryptonite.

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5 Phrases That Guys Love to Hear Sun, 29 Jan 2017 09:00:37 +0000 Get a man's perspective on the right things to say.

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We all know that all men aren’t the same and that everyone has their own tastes and attractions. But there are some things that are universal. That’s why we asked bestselling author and TV host Matthew Hussey to shed some light on what guys really love to hear from women. In today’s video, Matthew talks about the five things you can say to a man to really make him fall for you.

Video Transcript: 
Hello Zoosk community. My name is Matthew Hussey. I am the author of the New York Times bestselling dating book, “Get the Guy.” And the host of ABC’s, “What To Text Him Back.”Today, I am going to give you five man-melting phrases that get any man addicted to you. Check it out:

#1: I feel so safe around you.
Us men want to feel like the knight in shining armor. So when you tell us that you feel protected around us, immediately we feel like you’re the woman we want to be around.

#2: Show admiration for the traits that not everybody sees in him.
If you notice that he’s kind, even when he doesn’t need to be, say that to him. “I love how kind you are, even when nobody else is looking.” What he now realizes is that you see the best in him. Not just on the surface, but on a deeper level too.

#3: Compliment his style, not his looks.
No it’s not that us men don’t like being complimented on our looks. But think about this, he chose his style. So when you say to him, “I really love the way you dress. Your style is so cool.” In that moment, you’re complimenting a decision he’s made about his image.

#4: Show you believe in him.
The next time he has a challenge or something particularly difficult to deal with, say to him, “I know you can do this. You’ll be able to deal with this. You can deal with anything.” When you say that, you show him that you’re the one who really sees his potential and can be his greatest champion.

#5: Asking a guy for a favor.
And you can do this with someone you just met. You can be in a coffee shop grabbing coffees for you and your friends, and turn to the guy next to you and say, “I could use your help with something. Could you hold my jacket for two seconds while I give these to my friends?” In that moment although you’re the one who approached him, he feels like he’s doing an act of kindness for you, which plays to his chivalrous instincts.

If you enjoyed this super practical advice, I have something else for you. Nine copy and paste text messages that you can send to any guy you want for more attraction. All you need to do to get them is go to and download the free guide. I’ll see you there.

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Text Flirting: How To Keep It Fresh Thu, 01 Dec 2016 09:00:31 +0000 A few ideas to help you think outside the [text] box.

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Flirting is tough in any capacity, but because it’s aimed at both conveying and eliciting an emotional response, it can be especially hard to flirt via text. The basic rules—keep it fun, ask questions, show your personality—are all well and good, but everyone has suffered through those moments when your text has been taken out of context, or when it’s completely unclear what you were going for. What’s an easy way to keep your flirtatious texts from falling flat? Think outside the [text] box.

1. Emojis
Okay, emojis aren’t exactly ground-breaking, but you should make a conscious effort to venture away from your “frequently used” list. The heart eyes, the smoocher, the laugh with tears in its eyes… they’re safe. The best emojers are the ones who get elastic and explore all their options. Excited to see him? Throw him the SOON emoji. Did you know there’s a pager emoji? If a guy ever texted me to page him later, I would laugh. Hard.

2. Gifs
Where texts and even emojis fall flat, the gif is king. You get to convey a whole range of emotions, show off your sense of humor, and reference pop culture all at the same time. It’s flirting gold. Apps like Gboard and PopKey make it easy to gif search right inside your text window. Why send a rosy-cheeked smiley emoji when you could send a moving picture of two puppies licking each other’s noses? If he doesn’t respond to that, he’s a cold-hearted monster, and you should dump him immediately.

3. Bitmoji
Bitmoji is great because you have a cartoon of yourself doing all kinds of asinine things right at your fingertips. There is a reaction for any situation, and some great ice-breakers too. If you’re looking for a cute way to ask a guy what he’s up to, send him a bitmoji of you swinging from a vine and say, “hey, just thought I’d swoop in and see what’s up…” (Okay, if you’re sweetie is not into cheesy, but perfect humor, maybe this one isn’t for you…)

4. Snapchat
If you’re feeling flirty, but you don’t really have anything to talk about, Snapchat is a lifesaver. It’s made for life’s most inane moments, plus you get to spice it up—geotags, filters, video effects, you name it. The fact that it disappears after 10 seconds gives you a little more confidence to be silly, daring, or even sexy, and here’s a bonus: if you’re one of those control freaks who thinks everyone should be forced to turn on their read receipts except for you, Snapchat tells you exactly if and when your snap has been seen.

5. Apple’s New Doodle Feature
iOs 10’s new text features, while yes, are confusing if you haven’t mastered them, can actually be really fun. You can react to someone’s message, send a heart pulse or virtual kiss, and, my favorite: you can animate your own text responses. If you get asked out, sure, you could respond with a boring “yeah, sounds fun!” or you could build his anticipation with a live animated “~maybe…” You know, followed by three JKs and a lip-print right on his screen.

Any way you choose to keep your text-flirt game fun and engaging is great, but mixing it up is never a bad idea. A simple “Hey ;)” works, but throw a bitmoji of you passed out with a pizza box on your stomach in there every once in a while. It will keep your sweetheart on their toes.

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Girlfriend Nicknames: Over 200 Cute Names for Your Sweetie Wed, 09 Nov 2016 09:00:37 +0000 Not sure what to call your special someone? We came up with a few ideas.

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Queen, kitten, sweetie-pie, honey-bunny—nicknames for your girlfriend can come from anywhere. Sometimes it’s an inside joke. Other times it’s shortening a last name, finding out about an old childhood name, or discovering a line from a movie that the two of your find hilarious. Nobody knows exactly where nicknames come from, or what makes them stick, but if you’re looking for some girlfriend nicknames to call the lady in your life, we put together a list of over 200 ideas to help you out.

Angel Eyes
Angel Face
Angel of Mine
Apple of My Eye
Baby Boo
Baby Cakes
Baby Mommy
Bad Girl
Better Half
Cheeky Monkey
Cutie Patootie
Cuddle Bunny
Cuddle Bug
Cutie Pie
Dream Girl
Eye Candy
Fly Girl
Fruit Loop
Good Looking
Heart Breaker
Honey Bee
Honey Bun
Honey Bunny
Hot Lips
Hot Mamma
Hot Stuff
Kitty Cat
Knock Out
Little Lady
Little Mama
Love Bug
Love Muffin
Lover Girl
Lucky Charm
Main Squeeze
Miss Kitty
My All
My Angel
My Girl
My Drug
My Queen
My Woman
My Ride or Die
My Treasure
My World
Old Lady
One and Only
Other Half
Panda Bear
Pretty Lady
Pretty Momma
Sexy Pants
Silly Goose
Snuggle Baby
Snuggle Bug
Snuggle Butt
Snuggle Muffin
Sugar Momma
Sugar Plum
Sweet Cakes
Sweet Pea
Sweet Stuff
Sweet Thang
Sweet Thing
Sweetie Pie
Tator Tot
Tough Girl
Wonder Girl
Wonder Woman

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Text Flirting: Examples and Lines to Start Things Right Fri, 22 Jul 2016 08:00:03 +0000 Not sure what to say? Here are some ideas to keep you on your game.

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Okay, you’ve eyed each other’s profiles, he had a charming opening line, and things started off great—but you haven’t gotten a first date invitation yet. Before you spiral into that, “Why doesn’t he like me?!” spin cycle we all pretend we haven’t fallen victim to before, let’s work out a few text flirting solutions.

First of all, count your blessings. Next time you’re in text-flirt panic mode, just thank the stars that we’re hashtag blessed enough not to have grown up in a generation where you had to approach someone in a bar and be charming on the spot, all while looking right into the actual person’s eyes as they decide whether or not to reject you. I’m getting sweaty just thinking about it; it’s a wonder that the human race didn’t die off.  Whisper a “thank you,” to your parents, take a deep breath, and follow these pointers.

The most important thing is to give the other person an opportunity to further the conversation. Yes or no questions and single word answers are forbidden. Forbidden, I say! Compliments should always be followed up with a question.

That’s a great shirt in your profile pic! Where do you even find a t-shirt with the cast of Cats on it?

There’s a great little thrift shop on Main, I got it there a few years ago!

Oh cool, I’ve never been. Maybe we could check it out sometime 🙂

This will help you avoid the barren, “Haha, thanks,” response and give him a chance to talk about himself without feeling like he’s self-centered.

Just as important as giving a compliment is taking one. If he tells you he likes your blond hair, say thanks, and then mention that you’ve been playing with the idea of changing it up.

Oh really!? Your eyes would really look good with a purple ‘do too…

Is that a dare?

If you’ve mastered the basic idea of flirty banter, but still can’t get a good vibe going, here are some common hiccups and solutions:

Panic moment #1: You’re just not into the same stuff.

If you’re into him, but you’re having trouble connecting, don’t lie about what your interests are, but give him an opportunity to teach you more about what he’s into.

Never met a taxidermist before!  I’ll bet you make it look good! How’d you get into it?

I rescued this baby squirrel and when it fell into the pool and I just couldn’t part ways with it.

Aw, that’s sweet though! Think I could handle a Taxidermy lesson?

Panic moment #2: The conversation has died.

Conversational lulls are normal, but if a few hours have passed, and you can’t seem to think of a single thing to say, don’t panic. Often times, we think conversational lulls are an indicator of zero chemistry, but more often it’s just the nerves of trying to make a good impression on someone rearing their ugly head.

Get quirky with your text flirting. You’ve really got nothing to lose, and if sparks fly, this person is going to see your silly side anyway, so why not let it revive a dead moment? Reference all the pointless minutiae you Snapchat to your friends all day, and send him an innocuous observation or describe a funny moment. Sending him a pic of how the coffee barista butchered your name could do the trick.

Panic moment #3: Everything’s great, He’s JUST. NOT. ASKING.

This is your moment to take the wheel. It doesn’t have to be a blatant invitation out to dinner, and I find it’s easiest to take the independent route. If you invite him to join in standing plans you’ve already made, it will feel less like rejection if he declines.  Tell him you’re meeting up with a few friends at a bar and ask if he wants to join. If he says yes, casually mention the idea of getting some food together beforehand.

Panic moment #4: You’ve accidentally sent him a screen shot of his own face because you were simultaneously texting your bestie about him.

Good one.  Once you’re done screaming expletives, I urge you not to chuck your phone out the window and set yourself on fire. There are ways to remedy the situation.

Solution 1: Immediately follow up with an innocuous observation, and play it off like you meant to send it.

My friend thinks you look like Keanu Reeves from Point Break in this pic. But I don’t see it.

This is a great solution because you’ve flattered him by letting him know you’ve chatted to your friends about him, AND you get to see how he feels about the film Point Break, which may be the greatest movie of all time.

Solution 2: Ask a question. Literally anything.

Is the guy next to you named Dan? He looks familiar.

Nope, lol, that guys name is Pete, he was my roommate in college.

That’s crazy! Do you believe in doppelgangers?

(You can come clean about the fact that there’s no such person named Dan on your 5th wedding anniversary.)

Solution 3: Own it.

I meant to send this to my friend because she asked me if you’re cute. If you think this is charming, then lets move forward and never speak of it again. If you think it’s creepy, best of luck in life, I hope your taxidermy business really soars.

There’s a high chance he’ll laugh it off with you. He’ll be flattered that you’re talking about him, and impressed with your honesty. It could be a blessing in disguise.

If you succeed at text flirting, you’re well on your way to having a sweaty and pained first conversation at a bar just like your parents before you and theirs before them. Thus is the circle of life!

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Flirting Body Language: Signs to Give and Look For Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:00:49 +0000 You may be surprised by what someone's feet are telling you.

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Flirting isn’t just about the sweet nothings you use to lure a new romantic interest. In fact, when it comes to romance, it’s usually what you don’t say that has a bigger impact on than what you do say. Often it’s the simplest gestures—flirting body language including everything from your stance to tucking your hair behind your ears—that speak the loudest when it comes to attracting that hottie from across the room.

So how do you let your body do the talkin’? And how do you know if your date’s feet are actually saying, “I’m into you”? It starts with knowing which cues to look out for, and which ones to put out there.

It’s all in the feet
The way you present yourself to the world, particularly your stance, speaks volumes about how, or if, someone should approach you.

For women, body language expert, Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, advises having a small stance with their feet four to six inches apart. “Women want to be accessible, so part of that is taking up less space than more space, which is counter intuitive,” she says. “You want to be a confident woman, you want to appear as such, but it’s easier for men to approach women who don’t have a broad stance.” Though the feminist in you might cringe at the notion, Wood says, “You have to think about what makes you approachable. What makes it easy for a man to say, ‘I think she’ll talk to me. Or, I think she’ll rebuff me.’ That’s an interesting thing to be aware of.” Otherwise, Wood says you’ll attract guys who like a “challenging woman”. She calls them the “Sex seekers. They want to go to bed together that night.” And have not much else afterwards.

For men, Wood recommends what she calls “the toe stop” in which one foot is flat on the floor, while the other is crossed over the ankles, and the toes are flat. “They might be leaning against the bar or table. It’s a very distinctive pose,” she says.  “It says, ‘I am better than any of these guys here because I am more relaxed. I don’t need to go into a cowboy pose [in which a man holds a very broad stance]. That should say to a woman that he’s a confident guy who doesn’t need to posture and he can get along with other guys.”

Get His Attention With Your Drink
Typically in a flirting body language situation, you might wonder what to do with your hands and arms. Never fear! That glass of wine is, in fact, a legitimate luring cue. “Our eyes are designed for movement, so out of a group of women, the man is going to notice the one who is moving her glass,” Wood explains. “Hold the glass in your left hand, not your right, because you want to shake hands without your hand being wet. You can let it dance and dip, you can let it subtly move and shift, and have it move in your hand.” However, Wood warns of closing off your heart, so if you’re holding a beverage, try not to hold it in front of your chest, and, instead, hold it off to the side.

The Power of Wrist Action
The wrists are one of the most vulnerable parts of the body, so when a woman pushes her hair back behind her ear, so that her wrists show, the gesture combines both “movement and vulnerability, which is attractive to a man,” says Wood. Likewise, when a woman does this on a date, the man can be rest assured that she’s into him.

Touch is also important for both sexes. When a man is telling a story, a woman can make a very brief touch between his wrist and elbow. “If you do it when he says something funny, it acts as an anchor cue and he will keep saying funny things,” says Wood. “Or do it when he is open and honest, you can say, ‘Oh, that’s so nice. I am glad you said that to me,’ and gently touch him, so it becomes reward touching.” This easy, non-sexual touching, says, “I’m interested,” and also works on women, too.

The Importance of Eye Contact
Eye contact is important for both sexes. For men, extended eye contact from a woman means that she doesn’t think he’s a creep and is, in fact, interested in him. So, when a woman engages in extended gazing with the man she desires, she can almost guarantee that he will approach her. To ensure this, Wood recommends a luring technique for women that she equates with bass fishing. “You look across the room and see a guy you’re into, so turn your head, and bring your face and head across their field of vision, and then turn back, and then again,” she says. “You’re taking the lure out and moving it back in, and because people are attracted to movement, he’ll see your movement and then lock eyes with you. Once you lock eyes, you can hold it for a second and then look down, and then he’ll approach you.”

Eye contact is equally important on an actual date, especially in our digital world where we’re attached to screens 24/7. “Extended gaze is so important, but what’s happening now is because we are so used to looking at screens, eye-to-eye contact is uncomfortable for a lot of people,” says Wood. “Eye contact is a very important part of attraction and connecting of dating. It shows you are interested in them, it makes you likeable and it creates connection.” Ensure that you are connected with your date and making eye contact with them at least 60% of the time (more than that will come off as a little creepy). And just a warning, ladies: Wood says locking eyes with a man for longer than three seconds basically says to him, “I want you right now.” So be careful with those powerful peepers!

Flirting body language is so natural to us that often times we don’t even realize the vibe we might be giving off. Next time you’re on a date, or out at the local bar, pay attention to the signals you’re giving off, and it might just pay off.

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