{"id":12853,"date":"2016-06-02T01:00:04","date_gmt":"2016-06-02T08:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=12853"},"modified":"2023-11-22T12:51:39","modified_gmt":"2023-11-22T20:51:39","slug":"online-dating-etiquette-not-interested-heres-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/online-dating-etiquette-not-interested-heres-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Online Dating Etiquette: Not Interested, Here\u2019s What to Say"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>One of the most awkward experiences in online dating is rejecting someone who\u2019s expressed interest in you. No one likes rejection, and simultaneously, no one likes to be the bearer of bad news. However, saying \u201cthanks, but no thanks\u201d is not only good online dating etiquette; it\u2019s also an important part of your search for the person who you\u2019re truly interested in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how do you tell people you\u2019re not into them without being a total jerk about it? We asked several dating experts for their advice on what to say&nbsp;when you\u2019re just not feeling it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What to Say after You\u2019ve Been Messaged Online<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDon&#8217;t feel pressured to write back or decline every time someone reaches out to you,\u201d says <a href=\"http:\/\/www.aprilbeyer.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">April Beyer<\/a>, Personal Matchmaker and Relationship Consultant. \u201cYou&#8217;ll never have enough time! Only write a kind note to someone who took his\/her time to write you a real and authentic note. Winks, pokes, and likes about your photos don&#8217;t count. It&#8217;s a lazy approach so it doesn&#8217;t deserve your time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you must respond be brief, direct, and kind. Try something like, &#8220;Thank you for your interest but I don&#8217;t see us as a match. Wishing you all the best in your search.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, if the person isn\u2019t quite getting the message, Beyer says, \u201cJust delete and keep moving. This person obviously doesn&#8217;t respect your needs or wants. Above all, play nice and, whether you&#8217;re asked out online or in person, be considerate and honest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Giving polite excuses is another option. \u201cWhen turning someone down while online dating, I think most people just vanish from the conversation. This is fine if chats have been limited, but if you want to end the messaging in a mature way, you can simply say that you&#8217;ve met someone and you\u2019re focusing on that person at the moment,\u201d Shannon Tebb, Boutique Matchmaker and Dating Consultant at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?sa=t&amp;rct=j&amp;q=&amp;esrc=s&amp;source=web&amp;cd=1&amp;cad=rja&amp;uact=8&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjJ79Hor8HLAhVH1WMKHY-BD-kQFggdMAA&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fshannyinthecity.com%2F&amp;usg=AFQjCNHovfyodM__XUG7SN3NEu7sRdEzmQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Shanny in the City<\/a>, says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another suggestion? \u201cYou can say you\u2019ve enjoyed chatting with them but you don&#8217;t have the availability at the moment due to work, etc.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Compliments also go a long way, so don\u2019t forget to use good online dating etiquette and mention how you appreciate the positive attention. \u201cYou never know if you\u2019ll cross paths with this individual again, so it\u2019s best to handle it in a positive way that will leave you both feeling good rather than jaded.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What to Say After the First Date <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAlways come from a place of integrity. You want to sandwich the more negative response between two positive comments,\u201d <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dateworks.ca\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Deanna Cobden<\/a>, Dating and Relationship Coach, recommends. \u201cTry to mention something positive about your experience on the date. Even if it was boring or didn\u2019t go the way you wanted, you can still find something to appreciate about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another thing to keep in mind? Compassion. \u201cThis person is putting him or herself out there and being vulnerable, and that\u2018s a very brave thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try saying, \u201cI really appreciated you taking the time to meet with me last Friday night. And while I enjoyed your company, I just didn\u2019t feel a romantic connection. It was great meeting you and I wish you all the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Honesty is always the best policy, and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.SexWithDrJess.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dr. Jess O\u2019Reilly<\/a>, Sexologist, has a few ways to say you\u2019re not interested that are succinct yet sweet:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t see this becoming a serious relationship and that\u2019s what I\u2019m looking for right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re wonderful, but I\u2019m just <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/no-chemistry-long-wait-know-sure\/\">not feeling the chemistry<\/a> between us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI like and respect you and want to be straightforward to be fair\u2026I just don\u2019t think I\u2019m the right fit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI feel like the connection between us is more platonic.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to online dating etiquette, it\u2019s good to remember the golden rule\u2014treat others the way you\u2019d like to be treated. It\u2019s not good to leave people hanging because you\u2019re afraid to say you\u2019re not interested. Be honest. Be kind. You may be surprised how much people appreciate it, and how better you feel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few ways to let someone down easy. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":12897,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[888],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-online-dating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Online Dating Etiquette: Not Interested, Here\u2019s What to Say<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When it comes to online dating etiquette, it&#039;s hard to know when and how to tell someone you&#039;re not into them. 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Dating experts share with us the best ways.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/online-dating-etiquette-not-interested-heres-say\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/briannehoganwriter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-02T08:00:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-11-22T20:51:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/05\/26103357\/online-dating-etiquette-how-to-say-no.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brianne Hogan\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brianne Hogan\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Online Dating Etiquette: Not Interested, Here\u2019s What to Say","description":"When it comes to online dating etiquette, it's hard to know when and how to tell someone you're not into them. 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