{"id":12994,"date":"2016-06-14T14:42:31","date_gmt":"2016-06-14T21:42:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=12994"},"modified":"2021-05-31T23:35:34","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T06:35:34","slug":"pros-cons-dating-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-dating-bar\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice from Your Bartender: Having Your Date at the Bar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Can I buy you a drink?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the catalyst for countless first encounters and a classic way to get to know someone on a first date. The social setting of a bar\u2014plus a little alcohol\u2014lets otherwise nervous daters wind down a little. It\u2019s non-committal, meaning you don\u2019t have to sit all the way through dinner. And having a drink takes around 20 minutes, which is a good amount of time to determine whether or not a spark is there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Personally, I’m a bar dweller. It makes sense\u2014I like talking with people, as well as being in my professional comfort zone, so sitting at the bar is my spiritual home in a restaurant. That said, I always ask my date if she’d prefer to take a table, because some people feel like they\u2019re on show at the bar. It also depends on the tone of the encounter\u2014are we there for an appetizer and a few beers, or a full dinner?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how do you know when it’s good to sit at the bar and when you should go for the table? Let\u2019s weigh out the pros and cons of a date at ‘the bar’ not just a bar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro: You’re On the Same Side<\/strong>
\nFor starters, sitting at the bar is a little more informal, which is ideal for a first date. The first date should be about getting to know one another, working out if the two of you would even be friends, before taking it to the next step. And it\u2019s also psychologically more likely to be a successful date. Proxemics are a  nonverbal communication study of human spatial requirements and the effect that certain positions have on one another. (For example, the king sits higher than his subjects because he\u2019s the head honcho, and those below him are more subservient.) In the case of the bar, you\u2019re sitting side-by-side with your date, a setup that proves more fruitful than the classic ‘across the table’ date. At the bar, in terms of proxemics, you’re facing the same direction, working together toward the same goal. A table not only creates a physical barrier between the two of you, but also creates more of a feeling like you\u2019re interviewing for the position of boyfriend or girlfriend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Pro tip: If the bar has a corner, sit there. Studies have shown that the most successful co-operation proxemics occur at a 120 degree angle.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro: You’ve Got Help<\/strong>
\nThe bar also has another huge advantage\u2014the bartender. Use him or her as an ice breaker. If you arrive first (which I recommend; don\u2019t be late), introduce yourself, and later, your date. The bartender can be used as an expert for pairing your drink with your food, an adjudicator in playful arguments, or (worst case scenario) as security. Good bartenders are trained to read situations, and if you\u2019ve mentioned that you\u2019re on a date, they’ll leave you alone until you need them. Hell, even if your date stands you up, you\u2019ll stil have a sympathetic ear on hand. (And if you\u2019re sitting at my bar, you\u2019ll likely get a drink on the house. Keep your chin up.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Con: You’re Not As Intimate<\/strong>
\nOf course, there are some downsides to the bar as your meeting spot. The fact that you have the aforementioned bartender there could leave some feeling like they’re on a three-person date, an understandably uncomfortable situation. Depending on how well your date is going, you may favor a more intimate setting. (Something a bar is seriously lacking.) The bar tends to be the focal point in a big restaurant, which incidentally will also make it harder, should you things start going the wrong way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Con: It Can Distract from the Date<\/strong>
\nThere are also more distractions sitting at a bar, from flatscreen TVs showing the game (a pet peeve of mine because they create that glazing over in customers\u2019 eyes), servers bustling around behind you, or even other customers being drunk and\/or just chatty. Finally, and this is from experience on both sides of the bar, it is far easier to exceed your limit of intoxication when it\u2019s all just sitting there right in front of you, waiting for you to order it. Not that there\u2019s anything wrong with getting drunk (it\u2019s my job to help people get there, after all), but everyone knows that that alcohol lowers your inhibitions and your decision making skills\u2014two things that are pretty nice to have on a date. While some of the best times have been made by bad decisions, you may regret them in the morning when you\u2019re in a stranger\u2019s bed staring at a new ceiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So there you have it\u2014deciding to have your date at the bar can work for you, or against you. Use your best judgement and the tips above to determine if it’s right for you. At the end of the day, it\u2019s all about having a good time\u2026 and if it doesn\u2019t go to plan, you can always try for a do-over date.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Get help answering the age-old dating question\u2014Should we sit at the bar or take a table? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":89,"featured_media":12996,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,892],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-first-date-tips"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAdvice from Your Bartender: Having Your Date at the Bar<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do you know when it's good to sit at the bar and when you should go for the table? 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