{"id":13104,"date":"2016-07-05T01:00:16","date_gmt":"2016-07-05T08:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=13104"},"modified":"2021-05-31T23:23:12","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T06:23:12","slug":"dating-advice-italian-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-tips\/dating-advice-italian-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating Tips from Your Italian Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Italian mothers are notoriously difficult to please. (Unless you\u2019re her first-born son, in which case, the sun shines out of your culo.) You have a hard time getting her to be happy about any<\/em> of your choices, but in one area she\u2019s particularly scrutinizing: your dating life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure, pickins can be slim. But if you think she\u2019s going to just let any gavone date her daughter, you\u2019re sadly mistaken. So maybe this once you should just listen to her. After all, the man you marry will need her blessing to do, well, pretty much anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keepa’ the zippa’ closed.
\n<\/strong>With her Catholic upbringing, your Italian mother may be a little uptight about sex. But underneath the guilt and repression is a valuable lesson: Don\u2019t get knocked up. (Otherwise it\u2019ll be a shotgun wedding faster than you can say \u201cMadonna mia.\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look for a nice family.
\n<\/strong>This is Italian for \u201cmarry another Italian.\u201d But Ma is onto something here. When you enter into a serious relationship with someone, you not only get him but all of his relatives. Does their crazy match your family\u2019s crazy? Or is it another level crazy? Does the person you\u2019re dating rely on his family for every important life decision? Will your future mother-in-law be wearing a white poofy dress at your wedding?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He needs to eat.
\n<\/strong>Hopefully the guy you date has a healthy appetite for marinara. Otherwise, if he refuses that second helping at Sunday dinner, he\u2019ll be met with, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you? Don\u2019t you like my food?\u201d Any answer other than, \u201cThis is the best food I\u2019ve ever put in my mouth. I just wanted to enjoy it for a minute before I had another helping,\u201d will be met with the Italian evil eye followed by years of distrust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He should treat you like a princess.
\n<\/strong>The princess thing is so tired. But your Italian mother really means it. She\u2019ll accept nothing less than royal treatment from a man intent on courting her daughter. She wants to see presents, flowers, romantic love notes, grand gestures. But mostly she looks for respect. A man who doesn\u2019t respect her child will hear it from her. Out loud. Repeatedly. Until she runs him right out of your life. Thank God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re wearing that <\/em>on your date? No.
\n<\/strong>You don\u2019t live with your Italian mom? No worries, she\u2019ll be over your place in the hours before a big date if only to inspect what you\u2019re wearing and declare that you\u2019re showing too much skin. (\u201cNo man is gonna respect a woman who looks like she gives it away cheap down by the railroad tracks.\u201d) You change into a turtleneck. Now it\u2019s not enough skin. And red is not your color. And those shoes make your ass look big. Rest assured, if your Italian mom approves your outfit before you walk out the door, then you can pass any other stressful moment a first date might have to offer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where does he live?
\n<\/strong>On the other side of town? Too far away. Italian mothers can\u2019t bear the thought of jumping in a car and driving 15 minutes to see their children. That\u2019s way too much time between forming the thought \u201cI have to tell my daughter something\u201d and actually arriving at daughter\u2019s doorstep to announce that thought. If your Italian mom thinks he lives too far away then he\u2019s probably still too close. This is the advice you listen to…then do the opposite of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t date that guy.
\n<\/strong>Because your Italian mother is perfect. She\u2019s never made any dating mistakes. In fact, she\u2019s never made any mistakes, period. She married the perfect man, your father, and now she\u2019s expecting perfection from the person who marries you. It may seem like a lot of pressure, but underneath it all is the real gem: set the bar high. She expects a lot from you, so why shouldn\u2019t she expect the same from the person who gets to be with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When are you going to get married and give me some grandchildren?
\n<\/strong>You\u2019ve been on three dates with a guy who seems to pass all your Italian mother\u2019s judgmental criteria. He\u2019s from the \u201cright\u201d part of Italy. (Anywhere but Sicily because \u201cthat doesn\u2019t count, it\u2019s not attached.\u201d) You met his mom on the second date and she\u2019s lovely, if not overbearing. (She came with you to see a movie and sat between the two of you.) He loves your mother\u2019s cooking. (Date number three involved warming up some lasagna your mom sent over because she was convinced you wouldn\u2019t cook an impressive enough meal for him.) Most importantly, he thinks the world of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might not be convinced, but your mom is. And that\u2019s when she starts nagging you to get on with it, already. She needs those 30 grandkids to spoil.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you think she\u2019s going to just let any gavone date her daughter, you\u2019re sadly mistaken. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":13106,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[886,982],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-women","category-dating-tips"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDating tips from Your Italian Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Italian mothers are notoriously difficult to please. But in one area they're particularly scrutinizing: your love life. 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