{"id":13350,"date":"2016-08-19T10:58:44","date_gmt":"2016-08-19T17:58:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=13350"},"modified":"2021-05-31T23:20:17","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T06:20:17","slug":"rebound-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/moving-on\/rebound-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s Rebound Sex Really All About?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We all know the saying, \u201cthe best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.\u201d  And we\u2019ve all heard of the idea of rebound sex.  But what is it really all about? What exactly is rebound sex and why do so many people crave it at the end of a relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRebound sex happens when someone comes out of a long-term relationship and has sex with someone they barely know or have just recently met,\u201d says Sameera Sullivan, relationship expert and founder of Lasting Connections<\/a>.  \u201cIt usually happens right after a previous relationship has ended and the person is extremely sad and broken hearted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To put it simply, people engage in rebound sex to get their mind off the previous person they were with.  (OK, this seems obvious.) But did you know that who was dumped and who did the dumping usually determines who\u2019s more likely to look for a rebound?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior<\/a>, those who were dumped by their partner were more distressed and angry and therefore more likely to have sex to cope and to get back at or get over their ex-partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sullivan says that self-esteem is likely the reason behind the study\u2019s findings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen someone is dumped, their self-esteem suffers no matter how confident they usually feel. Feelings of anger and sadness and thoughts about your appearance may be questioned. Those who are dumped want to feel like they are wanted by others, and they want attention from the opposite sex,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to relationship expert and sexologist, Dr. Nikki Goldstein<\/a>, this is especially true for women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c[Women] might self-blame and ask questions such as \u2019was it me?\u201d Goldstein says. \u201cThey may even question their physical appearance and sex-appeal with questions like, \u2018am I not attractive enough or good in bed?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What happens next is that the newly jilted man or woman will go out with their single friends, meet someone who is totally into them, flirt, and usually those flattering feelings lead to the bedroom. Suddenly, the person feels like they\u2019ve gotten their power back and may even fool themselves into thinking they\u2019re over their ex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRebound sex can be a great way for a dumpee to remind themselves that they are still sexually attractive and that there are people out there who think this of them. It not only can lift someone\u2019s mood and put them in a more positive head space, but it also cuts their last emotional ties to their past sexual partner,\u201d says Goldstein.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, while rebound sex can help someone bounce back in the short-term, this act comes with a bit of warning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt should not be used as the only thing to help self-esteem otherwise this pattern will continue and instead of having sex for pleasure and connection, it will purely be about self-esteem and thus sending someone into a sexual situation that might not be right for them,\u201d Goldstein adds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Sullivan, women, more than men, should heed this warning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMost of the times, rebound sex happens as a one night stand, which ends up making women more depressed,\u201d says Sullivan. \u201cIt can cause more pain, especially if she had sex with someone and then the guy didn\u2019t call her back. For guys, it\u2019s a different story.  It can actually help a guy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than only engaging in rebound sex, Sullivan suggests females, especially those who are more sensitive, do things that make their souls (not just their bodies) feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if it\u2019s really rebound sex you\u2019re after, go for it. Just take the expert advice and know why you\u2019re doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPrepare yourself that this is just a one-night stand and you are just doing it to have sex and you will never hear from this person again,\u201d says Sullivan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And remember that when it comes to self-esteem, depending on someone else to make you feel better about yourself isn\u2019t the best idea. Rebound sex can help you rip off the Band-Aid of being with someone new after leaving a relationship, but sex alone isn\u2019t going to help you heal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few interesting studies reveal what’s really going on. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":13351,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat's Rebound Sex Really About<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We've all heard about rebound sex, but what's it really all about? Why do people do it and is it healthy? 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