{"id":13496,"date":"2016-09-20T10:41:46","date_gmt":"2016-09-20T17:41:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=13496"},"modified":"2021-05-31T23:18:30","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T06:18:30","slug":"having-high-standards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/having-high-standards\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Having High Standards Can Be a Good Thing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes having high standards can give you a bad reputation. We all know that friend who has a long, detailed list&nbsp;of the qualities he or she&nbsp;wants in another person. <em>(I want her to cook well but not better than me, I want him to love baseball but not the Dodgers, I don\u2019t think I could be with someone who has a liberal arts degree, He has to be a good dresser otherwise I just can\u2019t look at him, etc. etc. etc.)<\/em> We call these friends picky, unrealistic, and say that they\u2019re completely unreasonable for wanting the things that they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But are they really? Does having high standards hold you back from finding the right person or does it help you find the relationship that you really want?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After looking into it more closely, perhaps our picky friends are actually onto something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>If you know what you want, it\u2019s easier to find it<br>\n<\/strong>Comedian Aziz Ansari has a bit in his stand-up special <em>Buried Alive<\/em> about search filters in online dating. He has a friend who met his wife online, and is shocked by how easily they found each other. \u201cI asked him, \u2018What\u2019d you search?\u2019 And he goes, \u2018Jewish and my ZIP code,\u2019\u201d Ansari recalls. \u201cI found a Wendy\u2019s that way a few weeks ago!\u201d he jokes. It\u2019s comedy, but as the saying goes, it\u2019s funny because it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether or not you\u2019re online dating, if you know there are particular qualities you want in a person you can go out and find people who have those qualities. You have a target, an objective, and something to go after. If you\u2019re interested in someone active, you naturally keep an eye out for cars with bumper stickers from your favorite ski mountain, pay extra attention to fellow customers while shopping at REI, or match with people with hiking and outdoor pictures on their online dating profile. Because that\u2019s what you know you want, you seek it out and find it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Having high standards leads to better relationships<\/strong><br>\nAccording to a study from the <em><a href=\"http:\/\/psp.sagepub.com\/\">Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin<\/a> <\/em>on American marriages, having high standards can lead to better, more satisfying marriages\u2014but only if your significant other can actually live up to them. Having high standards&nbsp;led couples to \u2018up their game\u2019 so to speak. They challenged&nbsp;their partners to be better versions of themselves&nbsp;and pushed their relationships to new levels as well.&nbsp;Sure, the couples were risking being disappointed if they didn&#8217;t live up to each other&#8217;s expectations, but in the end the majority of people&nbsp;who had high standards were happier because they went&nbsp;for what they wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>It&#8217;s OK to&nbsp;value yourself enough to ask for more<br>\n<\/strong>Maybe you have high-standards because you, well, let\u2019s just say it\u2026&nbsp; You\u2019re pretty amazing and you deserve great things. Knowing that you\u2019re a worthwhile person and being confident in yourself is always a good thing. Just be careful to check yourself every so often to make sure you\u2019re not getting too big-headed. If you find yourself saying no to people for random reasons that seem like something from an old Seinfeld episode <em>(she has man hands, he\u2019s a close-talker, she\u2019s a bad breaker-upper) <\/em>chances are you may be taking it too far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And&nbsp;now we&#8217;re to&nbsp;the tricky part about having high standards&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s a fine line between wanting to meet someone who you can be excited about and unnecessarily judging people who may be really wonderful. So keep your eyes and mind open, look for people who fit your life and interests, but don\u2019t rule out someone just because he or she doesn\u2019t look exactly like the idea you have in your head. Remember, just because you know what you want doesn\u2019t mean life can\u2019t surprise you. And there\u2019s always that chance that you might meet someone with all the qualities you never knew you always wanted.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When high standards help you find the right person and when they hold you back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13498,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,895],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13496","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-meeting-people"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Having High Standards Is a Good Thing<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you\u2019re worried that having high standards is making it hard for you to find the right person, think again. It might actually be the best way to go.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/having-high-standards\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Having High Standards Is a Good Thing\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you\u2019re worried that having high standards is making it hard for you to find the right person, think again. 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