{"id":13619,"date":"2016-10-20T01:00:31","date_gmt":"2016-10-20T08:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=13619"},"modified":"2021-05-31T14:00:25","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T21:00:25","slug":"getting-back-with-an-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Back Together with an Ex"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Moving on after a breakup can be one of the hardest acts in dating. But what takes just as much inner strength and soul-searching, is deciding if you should give that old relationship another chance. Getting back together with an ex is a serious decision but sometimes it really can be the right one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what do you do if your ex wants you back? How do you know you won\u2019t get hurt again? Well you don\u2019t. But if you\u2019re thinking of resurrecting a dead relationship, ask yourself these 7 questions first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why did we break up in the first place?<\/strong>
\nCouples split up for various reasons\u2014everything from a loss of interest to distance to an affair to emotional abuse. Whatever the reason, think hard about what it is that broke you up and whether or not it;s something you can forgive and live with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRemember, there is a reason that it didn\u2019t work out the first time. Don\u2019t go in with the same attitude expecting different results,\u201d says relationship expert and dating coach, Hunt Ethridge<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do I want to get back together?<\/strong>
\nPsychotherapist and author of \u201cYour Best Age is Now\u201d, Dr. Robi Ludwig<\/a>, says this is one of the most important questions to ask. \u201cAre you getting back together because you\u2019re lonely and just want to be in a relationship?\u201d Well, there’s a red flag. Think about your reasons. They could be indicative of a deeper issue or maybe you just haven\u2019t given yourself enough time to process the breakup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is the problem a chronic one?<\/strong>
\nAnd did this problem contribute to the breakup? This could be anything from an addiction to just a lack of respect for you. The reality is that unless they have gotten lots of therapy, sometimes people just aren\u2019t able to change or don\u2019t want to. \u201cTake a narcissist, for example. If it was always about how it made THEM feel, it usually will continue. Don\u2019t feed back into it,\u201d says Ethridge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can I really trust this person again?<\/strong>
\nIf the breakup was due to a betrayal, ask yourself if you can really forgive and trust that person again. You can\u2019t be throwing your ex\u2019s transgressions in his or her face every time you get into an argument. If you can’t get past it then it\u2019s not fair to anyone to keep trying to force things forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What have I learned from the last time we tried this?<\/strong>
\nSince past relationships teach us about ourselves and what we do and don\u2019t want, think about the lessons learned from the past relationship you had with this person before getting back together. \u201cYou can\u2019t just jump back into where you left off,\u201d says Ethridge. \u201cWhat new knowledge\/wisdom are you bringing to the table that will increase your chances of having it work this time around?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do I truly love them? Or do you just miss them?<\/strong>
\nCan you picture a future with this person? Consider whether you\u2019d get back together if everything else in your life was going fabulously. If you still would, then great. If not, then you probably don\u2019t really want the person, but just a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have we been split up long enough?<\/strong>
\nIf it\u2019s only been a week or two, that\u2019s not really enough time to process the break up before getting back together. \u201cAsking yourself how long it\u2019s been since you were together is important because it needs to be long enough that you can somewhat start from scratch,\u201d says Ethridge. \u201cYou can\u2019t just start where you left off. You have to build a new relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what you choose, remember that people can grow together and apart. If you still have strong feelings for the person, listen to them. But remember to give yourself time to be alone, ask yourself if things have really changed in your life, your relationships, and yourselves. If you think there’s something there worth looking into, maybe it is time to give it a chance. However, if you’re just missing that old familiar feeling, don’t forget why it didn’t work out the first time around.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If your ex wants you back do you go for it? Ask yourself these questions first. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":13620,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGetting Back Together with an Ex - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself First<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you're thinking of getting back together with an ex, take a few moments and ask yourself these 7 questions dating experts say are important.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Getting Back Together with an Ex - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself First\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you're thinking of getting back together with an ex, take a few moments and ask yourself these 7 questions dating experts say are important.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-10-20T08:00:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T21:00:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/10\/17164936\/get-back-with-an-ex.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ashley Papa\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/AshleyMPapa\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ashley Papa\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Getting Back Together with an Ex - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself First","description":"If you're thinking of getting back together with an ex, take a few moments and ask yourself these 7 questions dating experts say are important.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Getting Back Together with an Ex - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself First","og_description":"If you're thinking of getting back together with an ex, take a few moments and ask yourself these 7 questions dating experts say are important.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2016-10-20T08:00:31+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-05-31T21:00:25+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/10\/17164936\/get-back-with-an-ex.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Ashley Papa","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/AshleyMPapa","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Ashley Papa","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/"},"author":{"name":"Ashley Papa","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/d01fd7a2c0323f6db326ba54c2b49350"},"headline":"7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Back Together with an Ex","datePublished":"2016-10-20T08:00:31+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T21:00:25+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/"},"wordCount":723,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/10\/17164936\/get-back-with-an-ex.jpg","articleSection":["Dating Advice","Relationship Advice"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/","name":"Getting Back Together with an Ex - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself First","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/10\/17164936\/get-back-with-an-ex.jpg","datePublished":"2016-10-20T08:00:31+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T21:00:25+00:00","description":"If you're thinking of getting back together with an ex, take a few moments and ask yourself these 7 questions dating experts say are important.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/10\/17164936\/get-back-with-an-ex.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/10\/17164936\/get-back-with-an-ex.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A woman laughing about getting back together with her ex who she's hugging."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/getting-back-with-an-ex\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dating Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Back Together with an Ex"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/d01fd7a2c0323f6db326ba54c2b49350","name":"Ashley Papa","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_74_1523036881-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_74_1523036881-96x96.jpg","caption":"Ashley Papa"},"description":"Ashley Papa is an experienced relationship writer. She is the author of the popular \"Vixen Investigations: The Mayoral Affairs\" and loves writing about it all: sex, love, dating, marriage, and \u201ccrimes of the heart\u201d. Ashley has been working with Zoosk to create engaging content around dating advice, relationship tips, and much more!","sameAs":["http:\/\/ashleypapa.com\/","https:\/\/x.com\/http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/AshleyMPapa"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/ashley-papa\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13619","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13619"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13619\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13620"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13619"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13619"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13619"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}