{"id":13831,"date":"2016-12-03T01:00:19","date_gmt":"2016-12-03T09:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=13831"},"modified":"2021-05-31T13:57:27","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T20:57:27","slug":"how-to-know-when-to-break-up-vs-save-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/how-to-know-when-to-break-up-vs-save-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Should I Stay or Should I Go? 5 Signs It’s Time to Break Up"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

You\u2019ve been in a relationship for a while now but lately\u2014or perhaps for months or years\u2014you\u2019ve been feeling like the relationship has lost steam. So, how do you know if the relationship is worth holding onto? The fact is, it’s hard to know when to break up, and the factors that go into the decision are never black and white.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe decision comes in waves and shades,\u201d says licensed marriage and couples therapist, <\/span>Dr. Paul Hokemeyer<\/span><\/a>. \u201cAbout 5% of my patients end their relationship with 100% conviction. The other 95% reach their decision after months and years of struggling. Most of the struggle comes from looking for external direction. They want their partner to call it off or do something so egregious there\u2019s no option but to break it off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many times, that external direction doesn\u2019t come and you\u2019re forced having to look deep inside. If you\u2019re feeling that something is off in the relationship, it may be time to simply end it. Here are five factors that let you know it may be time to think about breaking up.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019d rather be alone.
\n<\/b>Would you prefer spending time alone than with your partner? It\u2019s okay if this happens once in a while. We all need our private time. But if you feel this way all the time, make excuses not to be with them, and make other plans on purpose, this says a lot. \u201cIf you\u2019re totally fine NOT spending time with your partner\u2014it\u2019s probably a sign you need to move on,\u201d says Sameera Sullivan, a professional matchmaker and CEO of <\/span>Lasting Connections<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel miserable when you’re together.
\n<\/b>\u201cSometimes we stick it out with someone we\u2019ve been with for a while and tend to forget our own happiness is at risk. If you spend way too much time crying or complaining to others about your partner, it\u2019s time to move on,\u201d says Sullivan. It\u2019s important to remember that it\u2019s not your partner\u2019s responsibility to make you happy, but the both of you together in the relationship, should make you happy.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve stopped having fun.
\n<\/b>If all you do is fight and argue, that\u2019s a clear sign you need a break. \u201cA relationship can\u2019t flourish when all you ever do is argue. Pleasant outings (like going to concerts or parties) can turn sour if you and your partner are constantly fighting and not enjoying yourselves,\u201d says Sullivan.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve felt this way in other relationships.
\n<\/b>This could be a sign you have a relational pattern problem\u2014or keep falling for the wrong person. \u201cA key part of therapy and identifying if you should stay or leave a relationship is looking for patterns in ourselves. If you discover this pattern isn\u2019t serving your life and well-being, the answer to end a relationship may emerge,\u201d says Hokemeyer.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t look past the little (and big) things.
\n<\/b>In the beginning, you may brush off that your partner leaves their clothes all over the floor, voted for the different candidate, or drinks more than you like. \u201cOver time, these things become harder to ignore and move past. If you\u2019re unable to tolerate certain behaviors after several months or years, you\u2019re only going to resent them more,\u201d says Sullivan.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, it goes without saying that some relationships are worth holding onto. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCommunication is key when it comes to troubled relationships. If you\u2019re both communicating about your likes and dislikes, it means you\u2019re both putting forth the effort that a solid relationship requires,\u201d says Sullivan. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Five things that let you know it may be time to walk away. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":13834,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,998,973,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-break-up","category-moving-on","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nShould I Stay or Should I Go? 5 Signs It's Time to Break Up<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's hard to know when to break up, and the factors that go into the decision are never black and white. 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