{"id":13858,"date":"2016-12-10T01:00:54","date_gmt":"2016-12-10T09:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=13858"},"modified":"2021-05-31T13:41:53","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T20:41:53","slug":"outdated-dating-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/outdated-dating-rules\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Outdated Dating Rules You Should Throw Out the Window"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Your friends, your family, even the relationship pros like to always talk about the “rules” of dating. But with the rising popularity of online dating apps, changes in how we communicate, and the evolution of traditional gender roles, many of those so-called dating rules have become outdated, way too hard to follow, or just plain wrong. So how do you separate what rules are timeless from those that are past their prime?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these 11 once-popular dating rules that you should throw out immediately:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 1: Make yourself irresistible.<\/strong>
\nTake all the dating tips that tell you how to become a guy-magnet or a girl-magnet and trash them! Trying to be everything to everyone is a terrible goal to strive for because it\u2019s almost impossible to attain. \u201cIt will only make you more insecure.  Your goal is to be YOU and to only look for someone who loves who YOU are,\u201d says relationship psychotherapist and author of \u201cDeeper Dating\u201d, Ken Page<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 2: Wait for the guy to approach you first.<\/strong>
\nOh please. This is advice is so old, if you follow it, you may be waiting a long time. “Many dating apps are flipping that notion on their head by making and allowing the ladies to make the first move,” says Sarah Merrill, creator of @BigKidProblems<\/a>. The truth is, these days if the lady makes the first move she’s more likely to be successful and attract the men she’s look for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 3: Wait three days to call back.<\/strong>
\nDating is not a game. If you treat it like one, someone will always lose. If you want to, call or text back in the next 24 hours just go for it, says Simon Marcel, host of iHeart Radio’s The Rendezvous with Simon and Kim<\/a>. “It has to be honest and spontaneous if you want to be respected and start a healthy relationship.” Not to mention, that dating is more competitive. If you’re waiting three days to give her a call, she could have already made three new matches and at least one date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 4: Be prepared to have sex on the third date.
\n<\/strong>Ugh, how unoriginal. \u201cYou should make that decision based on when it feels right, not when a timeline tells you to,\u201d says Merrill. It can feel right after the third date, the third hour, or the third month. That\u2019s for you to decide based on when you\u2019re ready, not based on some outdated rule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 5: Don\u2019t reveal too much about yourself or get too excited.<\/strong>
\nYou don\u2019t want to reveal EVERYTHING about yourself over text and a little mystery may be sexy, but the \u201ckeep them guessing game\u201d gets old fast. Even research<\/a> shows that playing too much hard-to-get makes others like you less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 6: The guy has to pay on the first date.
\n<\/strong>Sure, it\u2019s a nice gesture, but it’s not a deal breaker if the guy doesn\u2019t pay anymore. \u201cIf he offers, by all means, let him treat you. But you should offer to split the bill or at the very least contribute by picking up a round of drinks,\u201d says Merrill. These days, many women even prefer to split to keep things on even-footing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 7: Don\u2019t move in together until you’re engaged or married.
\n<\/strong>Unless it\u2019s against your moral standards and beliefs, most couples say living together before getting engaged helped them see their partner in a different light.  \u201cIn fact,\u201d says Merrill, \u201cLiving in sin will let you know if [the relationship] is going to work or not.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 8: Learn how to seduce him\/her.<\/strong>
\nYou see him\/her across the bar, so start flipping your hair or meet her gaze<\/em>. \u201cIt seems like an endless list of seduction tactics for both men and women,\u201d says Page. \u201cMostly the skills of seduction involve projecting an inauthentic type of ultra-confidence which most don\u2019t have to, nor do they need to.\u201d Instead of trying hard to get that come-hither look, just go up and talk to someone<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 9: Make a point by playing the silent treatment.<\/strong>
\nWhether it\u2019s purposely waiting to text back or just not speaking to your partner, the silent treatment isn\u2019t just bad advice, it\u2019s also immature. \u201cCommunication is important to any relationship. Think about it, prison\u2019s use solitary confinement as punishment,\u201d says relationship expert, Michelle Crosby<\/a>. Use the silent treatment on someone you’re interested in these days and you may never hear from that person again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 10: Lower your standards to meet someone.<\/strong>
\nHaving realistic expectations makes sense, but lowering your standards to the point where you\u2019re swiping on everyone who isn\u2019t what you want is bad advice. \u201cWe are all imperfect and we all have flaws, so maintain your three most important standards, but learn to compromise also,\u201d says Badinter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating Rule 11: Guys, show your sensitivity only in small doses.<\/strong>
\nThis bad advice is often given so that a man won’t look like a wimp if he sheds a tear at a Nicholas Sparks movie or posts a kitten meme on Instagram. Page says, \u201cThese are old sexist messages in new containers.  When your dating advice makes you feel like you need to twist yourself into a pretzel, it\u2019s the wrong advice!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating has changed a lot, and quickly over the past few years and the dating rules have changed right along with it. It’s not easy keeping up but a few things that never fail are being honest, having fun, and putting yourself out there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you still wait three days to call? Big mistake. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":13859,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n11 Outdated Dating Rules You Should Throw Out Now<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Wondering what the dating rules are these days? Don't read a book or take traditional advice. 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