{"id":14075,"date":"2017-01-22T01:00:29","date_gmt":"2017-01-22T09:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=14075"},"modified":"2022-05-23T02:29:04","modified_gmt":"2022-05-23T09:29:04","slug":"lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/","title":{"rendered":"The 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Let’s face it, dating in your 40s is nothing like dating in your 20s and even your 30s. The older you get the more difficult dating can be. But, despite what some may lead you to believe, it\u2019s far from impossible to find someone who’s perfect for you if you happen to be dating after 40.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are 10 other lies women dating in their 40s need to stop telling themselves:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #1:\u00a0There are no single men where I live.
<\/strong>Truth: Maybe where you live the ratio\u00a0of men to women is low, but statistics show that 50% of Americans are single so there are definitely plenty of single men out there to meet<\/a>, says\u00a0Lori Bizzoco, relationship expert and executive editor of Cupidspulse.com<\/a>. \u201cMaybe you just aren’t looking in the right place.\u00a0 If you feel that there are no men in your surrounding area, go outside of your community or town. You could also join activities that single people enjoy or put your profile on a dating site,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #2: Women dating after 40 aren’t as desirable as younger women.
\n<\/strong>Truth: Men (younger and older) are definitely attracted to women over 40. \u201cWe live in a judgmental society that reveres youth and frowns on women who don’t live traditional lives. The truth is women over 40 are sexy,\u201d says Shannon Lee<\/a>, a relationship expert and columnist. \u201cWe don’t have to compete with our younger counterparts. Life experience (children, careers, previous marriages, etc.) does not negate attractiveness for women, any more than it does for men.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #3: Men aren\u2019t interested in dating someone who’s a mom.
\n<\/strong>Truth: People with children tend to be responsible, caring, and selfless\u2014probably more so than their footloose and fancy free counterparts, says professional matchmaker, April Davis<\/a>. \u201cAll of these thoughts about unwanted baggage, etc., that blooms in our minds when this subject comes up are usually misplaced. Men are actually DRAWN to nurturing and caring personality types, and being a mother may be what the opposite sex is looking for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #4<\/strong>: Men will think older women have too much relationship baggage.
\n<\/strong>Truth: The time between the ending of an old relationship and the beginning of a new relationship is ripe for self-reflection and growth, says Dr. Alexandra Solomon<\/a>, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want<\/em>. \u201cThe degree to which you can take responsibility for the baggage you carried from your last romantic relationship is the degree to which you can enter into a new relationship with health and integrity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #5: Men are intimidated by an established woman in her 40s.
\n<\/strong>Truth: A man in his 40s or older is ready to have a team mate and an experienced woman at this point in their lives. \u201cThey want a partner they can have fun with and who can meet their needs, without worrying about the relationship being one-sided and having to teach someone about life. They know you\u2019re not going to be dependent on them, since you have your own career and money,\u201d says Sarah Mandel<\/a>, a relationship expert and licensed psychotherapist. Basically you\u2019ve got your life together and that makes you a much more attractive package.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #6: I’m too old to have kids and start a family.
\n<\/strong>Truth: Although having kids may be harder after you turn 35, this lie women tell themselves couldn’t be farther from the truth. \u201cNowadays, women can and do have kids in their early to mid 40s. I am living proof. I had a child at 42. My sister had a child at 43. And, my sister-in-law had a child at 48! You have plenty of options, so stop thinking that you’ll never have kids. The probability that you will is greater than the probability that you won’t,\u201d says Bizzoco.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #7:<\/strong> Women over 40 don\u2019t need<\/em> anyone else.
\n<\/strong>Truth: This may be true for some, but it is also a cop-out for women that desire a relationship and are too afraid to seek it. \u201cThere are many women who want companionship and don’t give themselves permission to acknowledge their true desires. It’s seen as brave to stay single. Some women are guilted into staying single by their friends or family and some are just intimidated by the dating scene. Whatever the reason you will not attract a suitable partner until you’re open to the possibility,\u201d says Lee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #8:<\/strong> Men want women who look like they\u2019re in their 20s.
\n<\/strong>Truth: Men want you to be yourself. Many women who believe that men only want women who look young will compensate by dressing out of the wrong section of the store. Then, instead of wearing things that complement their age, their wardrobes draw more attention to their insecurity. \u201cDress in a way that highlights your best features, and don\u2019t worry about being trendy or provocative with your clothing choices. You are the most attractive when you feel confident and self-assured, and wearing clothes that you feel this way in goes a long way,\u201d says Davis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #9: Men don’t want to date women with older bodies.
\n<\/strong>Truth: Men like a woman without hang-ups about her body. \u201c<\/strong>A woman in her 40s has learned to embrace her body without the hang-ups. Many women in their 40s are body confident because they\u2019re eating well, working out, and feeling better about themselves then when they were younger. A man is turned on by a women who\u2019s confident and not afraid to ask for what she wants,\u201d says Mandel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie #10:<\/strong> Women over 40 aren’t capable of having successful relationships.
\n<\/strong>Truth: With failed past relationships we often learn life lessons and insight about our own relationship patterns. Afterwards, people are often more mature and clear about what they want in a relationship moving forward. “When we give ourselves time for introspection, we put ourselves in a better position to have a successful, long-lasting relationship the next time around. We have learned how to communicate and have the tools to work through conflict better than we did when we were younger,” says Lee.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you told yourself one? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":14076,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[975],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-in-your-40s"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If your a woman dating after 40 you may be telling yourself one of these 10 lies that are holding you back from finding the person for you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If your a woman dating after 40 you may be telling yourself one of these 10 lies that are holding you back from finding the person for you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-01-22T09:00:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-05-23T09:29:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/01\/20171414\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ashley Papa\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/AshleyMPapa\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ashley Papa\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves","description":"If your a woman dating after 40 you may be telling yourself one of these 10 lies that are holding you back from finding the person for you.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves","og_description":"If your a woman dating after 40 you may be telling yourself one of these 10 lies that are holding you back from finding the person for you.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2017-01-22T09:00:29+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-05-23T09:29:04+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/01\/20171414\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Ashley Papa","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/AshleyMPapa","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Ashley Papa","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/"},"author":{"name":"Ashley Papa","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/d01fd7a2c0323f6db326ba54c2b49350"},"headline":"The 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves","datePublished":"2017-01-22T09:00:29+00:00","dateModified":"2022-05-23T09:29:04+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/"},"wordCount":1041,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/01\/20171414\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves.jpg","articleSection":["Dating in Your 40s"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/","name":"The 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/01\/20171414\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves.jpg","datePublished":"2017-01-22T09:00:29+00:00","dateModified":"2022-05-23T09:29:04+00:00","description":"If your a woman dating after 40 you may be telling yourself one of these 10 lies that are holding you back from finding the person for you.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/01\/20171414\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/01\/20171414\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A woman who's dating after 40 watching a sunset with a man."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/lies-women-dating-after-40-tell-themselves\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dating Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Dating in Your 40s","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"The 10 Lies Women Dating After 40 Tell Themselves"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/d01fd7a2c0323f6db326ba54c2b49350","name":"Ashley Papa","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_74_1523036881-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_74_1523036881-96x96.jpg","caption":"Ashley Papa"},"description":"Ashley Papa is an experienced relationship writer. She is the author of the popular \"Vixen Investigations: The Mayoral Affairs\" and loves writing about it all: sex, love, dating, marriage, and \u201ccrimes of the heart\u201d. Ashley has been working with Zoosk to create engaging content around dating advice, relationship tips, and much more!","sameAs":["http:\/\/ashleypapa.com\/","https:\/\/x.com\/http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/AshleyMPapa"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/ashley-papa\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14075"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14075\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14076"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}