{"id":14189,"date":"2017-02-23T01:00:42","date_gmt":"2017-02-23T09:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=14189"},"modified":"2021-10-29T06:25:40","modified_gmt":"2021-10-29T13:25:40","slug":"divorced-dating-date-divorce-final","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/divorced-dating-date-divorce-final\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorced Dating: How To Date Before the Divorce Is Final"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While most dating experts and divorce attorneys agree that it\u2019s usually best to wait until a divorce is finalized before dating again, the truth is, divorce can be a long, drawn out process\u2014sometimes taking&nbsp;years. As a result divorced dating really isn&#8217;t all that uncommon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If your divorce isn&#8217;t finalized yet but you feel ready to get back out there, go for it.&nbsp; Legally, there is generally nothing preventing you from dating during divorce but there are some dos and don\u2019ts the experts say you should keep in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DON\u2019T date unless you&#8217;re ready.<\/strong><br>\nThis isn\u2019t so much a question of time but of where you are emotionally. \u201cMany people have emotionally left the marriage long before they file for divorce. Others are still dealing with the end of the relationship. If your spouse still gets you emotionally charged, your focus needs to be on healing,\u201d says dating coach, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.foundationscoachingnc.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lesli Doares<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DO familiarize yourself with today\u2019s dating world.<\/strong><br>\nYou\u2019ve been out of the dating scene for years, but dating is totally different today than it was 10 years ago. \u201cI recommend researching the best dating apps, getting a fresh new look, and trying new places to meet&nbsp;new people,\u201d says Amanda Rose, Founder of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.datingboutiqueinc.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dating Boutique<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DON\u2019T date friends of your ex.<\/strong><br>\nEven though you\u2019re separated and may resent your ex, you still need to be respectful of his or her feelings. \u201cPut yourself in his or her shoes, and use that as your guide to acting responsibly,\u201d says Amy Osmond Cook, PhD, <a href=\"http:\/\/cupidspulse.com\/relationship-experts\/amy-osmond-cook\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">CupidsPulse.com<\/a>&nbsp;divorce expert and founder of the&nbsp;Divorce Support Center.&nbsp; Think about it, how would you feel if you saw your soon-to-be ex walk into your favorite caf\u00e9 with one of your work friends?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DO stay away from places you used to go with your spouse.<\/strong><br>\nOr places they might still go. This is also true of their family members and possibly their friends. \u201cOne of the challenges during divorce is that members of your extended circle are dealing with your breakup as well. If only one of you wanted the split, this will be even harder for them. Being respectful of their feelings, when possible, is always a positive,\u201d says Doares.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DO keep a new relationship under the radar<\/strong>.<br>\nThat means, don\u2019t go flaunting a new flame all over social media or bragging to your ex about how great your new partner treats you.&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.woodrufflawfirm.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Carolyn Woodruff<\/a>, a Family Law Specialist based in North Carolina says, \u201cInsinuating a new person in your life before the last relationship is finalized can flame the fire and make settlement harder or more expensive.\u201d Especially if kids are involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DON\u2019T hide that you\u2019re going through a divorce.<\/strong><br>\nIf directly asked by a date, you should be honest but brief. They don\u2019t need to know every little legal detail. \u201cThere are many different situations (i.e., financial concerns, custody issues) that delay the process of a divorce. Most people are understanding&nbsp;and if they&#8217;re not you don&#8217;t want to be with them anyway. Being honest and open about the status of your relationship is essential to developing trust,\u201d says Cook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DO pay attention to how you talk about the divorce.<\/strong><br>\nIf you can\u2019t discuss your divorce without getting angry or emotional then it&#8217;s probably a good indicator that you shouldn\u2019t be dating. \u201cIf you&#8217;re able to talk about the experience, calmly and fairly explain what happened. If your date still decides it\u2019s a deal-breaker, then you\u2019d be better off finding somebody else anyhow,\u201d says Scott C. Trout, CEO, of the divorce firm, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cordellcordell.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Cordell &amp; Cordell<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DON\u2019T get too caught up, too fast.<\/strong><br>\nIt&#8217;s common to romanticize new relationships and quickly get caught up in the whirlwind of falling in love all over again after divorce. \u201cEven if you know your divorce was for the best, it can take some time to truly move past your ex.&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/dadsdivorce.com\/articles\/do-men-take-breakups-harder-than-women\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A recent study in London<\/a> found that men have a more difficult time recovering from breakups than women, and if you start dating too soon it can sabotage your next relationship,\u201d says Trout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DO know it could turn people away.<\/strong><br> Depending on how long your divorce takes, you may find that a lot of people may not want to date someone who is in the middle of a divorce. \u201cIf you chose to mark the box &#8220;divorced&#8221; when you are still separated expect that it might give you more matches, but it might turn away people,\u201d says Stef Safran, a matchmaker and founder of <a href=\"https:\/\/stefandthecity.com\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/stefandthecity.com\/\">Stef and the City<\/a>.<em>\u00ae<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DON\u2019T have too high expectations.<\/strong><br>\nThe grass may seem greener but it&#8217;s really just different grass. \u201cIf you had issues with your ex over something, don&#8217;t assume that it&#8217;s only your ex. Expect to realize that whomever you meet will have issues. Expect to have some highs and lows as a new relationship can make you forget that the honeymoon period does end,\u201d says Safron.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DO be cautious when introducing your new date to your children.<br>\n<\/strong>It isn\u2019t just you and your spouse going through the divorce, but family, friends, and, if you have them, children. \u201c[Children] are adjusting to your divorce too, and introducing a significant other too soon (or someone who isn&#8217;t a positive influence) can have damaging psychological and emotional effects,\u201d says Trout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DON\u2019T think dating is easy after a serious relationship.<\/strong><br>\nOften we compare the new dates to our old relationship. We need to be mindful that this is a new person with a different personality, behaviors, and values. \u201cTry to focus on getting to know the new person without focusing on the old. When we focus on the old we often block new relationships that could be amazing from forming,\u201d says Rose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>DO focus on your feelings<\/strong>.<br>\nIt takes time. You&#8217;re probably not going to fall in love with the first person you date after your marriage. \u201cThe trick is to maintain a level head and realize that you have a new opportunity to find everything you&#8217;re looking for in a partner again. Just take your time, get emotionally healthy, and make smart decisions,\u201d says Cook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No matter how you came to the decision or what your relationship with your ex is, coming out of a divorce and dating again can be tricky. If anything, because it&#8217;s been a long time since you&#8217;ve been out there. Use this advice along with your good judgement and enjoy meeting people again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Legal and relationship experts share their advice. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":14190,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,988],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-divorce"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Divorced Dating: How To Date Before the Divorce Is Final<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Divorced dating isn&#039;t really all that uncommon. 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