{"id":14381,"date":"2017-04-14T01:00:23","date_gmt":"2017-04-14T08:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=14381"},"modified":"2021-05-31T13:33:38","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T20:33:38","slug":"how-to-stay-friends-with-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/moving-on\/how-to-stay-friends-with-ex\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stay Friends With Your Ex"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Besides It\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me<\/em> the line, Let\u2019s stay friends<\/em> is probably the most common line tossed around during a breakup. Saying goodbye to an ex and their companionship is extremely hard, which is why most people like the idea of remaining friends post-breakup. The idea of giving up weekly pizza nights and cute GIF-filled texts seems less difficult when you can still hang out together and be apart of each other\u2019s lives. But, given your shared history, remaining friends with your ex is a tricky thing. So how do you stay friends with your ex?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below are tips on how to build a friendship with your ex that is filled with mutual respect and platonic adoration, and little awkwardness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Give the breakup some time.<\/strong>
\nRemaining friends with someone who smashed your heart into itty bitty pieces is no easy feat. This is why it\u2019s imperative to give each other space and time to heal. During this time apart, completely disengage with them online and in real life. The amount of time apart is completely different for each individual, but the general rule of thumb is to leave each other alone for three months minimum\u2014or at least until your heart stops flip flopping\/blood stops boiling at the mention of his or her name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Determine the why.<\/strong>
\nEmotions\u2014not to mention surges of sexual tension\u2014often run high with those whom we\u2019ve engaged romantically. That’s why it\u2019s important to identify your reasons for wanting to salvage the friendship. Is it for closure, or are you hoping to get back together? Are you desiring emotional support, or is it because you just really enjoy your ex\u2019s company? Clarifying your motives behind the friendship will determine whether or not staying friends with your ex is actually a good, and healthy, thing for you to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Reach out.<\/strong>
\nIf you\u2019ve determined that your reasons for staying friends are legitimate, and you definitely do not have residual feelings, it\u2019s now safe to reach out to your ex via text, Facebook, or email. Maybe test the waters with a quick note like,\u201cSaw this and thought of you!\u201d If they respond back within a reasonable amount of time, tell your ex how much you\u2019d like to maintain a friendship and ask if they feel the same way. Be prepared for either response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. See your ex in daylight hours only.<\/strong>
\nIf your ex is ready to be friends, it\u2019s best to lay down some ground rules. The first one? Be the opposite of vampires and only meet when the sun is up. This way you\u2019re more likely to engage in platonic activities like going out for coffee, and not indulging in alcoholic beverages, which could lead to fighting or sex… or both. It\u2019s also a good idea to avoid going to places that you used to haunt as a couple. Only consider meeting up for a nightcap if you\u2019ve been able to succeed meeting up as daylight-only friends for a few months without any fear of falling back into old patterns or someone\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Don\u2019t fall back into old patterns.<\/strong>
\nOnce you\u2019re getting along with your ex, it\u2019s super easy to fall back into old patterns like texting and\/or calling each other on a daily basis. Although it feels good to be close with your ex again, you don\u2019t want to create any false hope of getting back together. It\u2019s best to treat your friendship with your ex like you would an acquaintance. Treat them with respect and communicate only when you need to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Be a friend, not an ex.<\/strong>
\nYou two might share a romantic history, but if you\u2019re determined to have a legit friendship with your ex, then you must treat him or her like a true friend. Meaning? Don\u2019t bring up any old arguments or any hang-ups you might be holding onto from your relationship (especially those that factored into your breakup). Also, it goes without saying: no flirting or dressing provocatively or referring to previous sexual relations. Above all, have fun! Enjoy and be grateful for the connection you two share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Be happy for their new relationship.<\/strong>
\nIt\u2019s inevitable\u2014your ex will meet someone new. When this happens, be as gracious and supportive as you would be for any other of your friends. Don\u2019t compare your relationships, don\u2019t mention how you used to have sex in front of their new partner, and don\u2019t be bitter or mean. Support your ex\u2019s attempt to move on and forward. Take to heart that his or her new relationship is actually a huge sign that your friendship is working.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not easy to remain friends with an ex, but it is possible. Be the type of friend you\u2019d like to have in your life, and your ex is sure to follow by example.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Believe it or not, it can be done. Here’s how. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":14382,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[994,973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Stay Friends with an Ex<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Get tips on how to build a friendship with your ex that's filled with mutual respect. 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