{"id":14385,"date":"2017-04-04T19:03:46","date_gmt":"2017-04-05T02:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=14385"},"modified":"2021-05-31T13:34:15","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T20:34:15","slug":"data-reveals-biggest-online-dating-first-message-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/online-dating-first-message\/data-reveals-biggest-online-dating-first-message-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Data Reveals the Biggest Online Dating First Message Mistakes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to men and online dating, it may seem like a numbers game. The more matches you make, the more messages you send, the better your chances\u2026 right? Well, as it turns out quality matters too, and a lot more than we thought. While trying to find out what makes a good online dating first message, the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/ad.doubleclick.net\/ddm\/clk\/306955822;126561327;i\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">online dating site and app Zoosk<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, stumbled across an interesting truth\u2014even if you\u2019re a good-looking guy, sending the same message to multiple women will hurt your chances. Big time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To find this out <a href=\"https:\/\/ad.doubleclick.net\/ddm\/clk\/306955822;126561327;i\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Zoosk<\/a>&nbsp;looked at male members on the site who got the most matches, likes, and attention from other women (aka the guys who were either the best looking or had the most compelling dating profiles) but still didn\u2019t get a lot of responses when they sent out messages. Why were these handsome men all striking out?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">87% of the good-looking guys who weren\u2019t getting replies to their messages, were sending the same exact message to multiple women.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And on average it was around 15 women. So even though copying &amp;&nbsp;pasting the same message to multiple women may seem like a good way to save time, it just plain doesn\u2019t work. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After looking more closely into the messages themselves, Zoosk also found that a lot of these men were sending very similar, generic messages (which makes sense because they were copying and pasting them). By looking for the five-word phrases that appeared most often they were able to pull out some of the phrases that got repeated the most. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So if you\u2019re wondering what online dating first message clich\u00e9s to avoid (copying and pasting aside) here are a few of the big ones:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Getting to know you&#8230;<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The most common phrases that didn\u2019t do well were things such as <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">to get to know you, like to get to know you, to know more about you, would like to get to, love to get to know, <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">get to know you better. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Hope to hear from you&#8230;<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other phrases that women didn\u2019t respond to were <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hope to hear from you, to hear back from you, forward to hearing from you, to hear from you soon, look forward to hearing from, <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I hope to hear from.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>I\u2019m looking for\u2026 <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Phrases such as <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">looking for a nice girl, guy looking for a nice, looking for someone with similar, I\u2019m looking for a person, a nice guy looking for, <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">or <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">nice guy looking for a<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> didn\u2019t do so well either. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Hi, how are you\u2026<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/4-online-dating-first-message-tips-probably-havent-tried\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">we\u2019ve found out before<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, the hi, hey, hello, how are you messages aren\u2019t very successful and now we know it doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019re attractive or not. Other common phrases among our good-looking guys who didn\u2019t get a lot of replies are <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hello how are you doing, how are you doing today, hi there how are you, hi how are you doing,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how are you doing today. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While you\u2019re online dating, it may be tempting to try and cut some corners to make things easier on yourself. It\u2019s perfectly understandable to want to save a little time. Unfortunately, cutting this particular corner isn\u2019t going to help you get what you want. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you making one of them?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":14386,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[885,889],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-men","category-online-dating-first-message"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Data Reveals the Biggest Online Dating First Message Mistakes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This dating site looked at the messages of good-looking men who didn\u2019t get a lot of replies. Why were these handsome men all striking out? The answer may surprise you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/online-dating-first-message\/data-reveals-biggest-online-dating-first-message-mistakes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Data Reveals the Biggest Online Dating First Message Mistakes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This dating site looked at the messages of good-looking men who didn\u2019t get a lot of replies. Why were these handsome men all striking out? The answer may surprise you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/online-dating-first-message\/data-reveals-biggest-online-dating-first-message-mistakes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-04-05T02:03:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T20:34:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/04\/04190309\/online-dating-first-message-mistakes.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Megan Murray\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Megan Murray\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Data Reveals the Biggest Online Dating First Message Mistakes","description":"This dating site looked at the messages of good-looking men who didn\u2019t get a lot of replies. 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