{"id":14991,"date":"2017-08-21T01:00:50","date_gmt":"2017-08-21T08:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=14991"},"modified":"2024-03-20T05:07:40","modified_gmt":"2024-03-20T12:07:40","slug":"how-to-follow-up-with-a-woman-you-just-met-and-get-a-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/how-to-follow-up-with-a-woman-you-just-met-and-get-a-date\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Follow Up with a Woman You Just Met and Get a Date"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It was an exciting day because you did something new. You went out, built up the courage to say \u2018hi\u2019, and walked away with a woman\u2019s number. Now the question is, how do you follow up to get a date? Knowing how to ask a woman out is a simple process, but one that gives a lot of guys anxiety. And as simple as it is, most guys get this part wrong and end up missing out on a great opportunity to go out with a great person.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you approach women the right way, following up with a text message should be the easiest part. Surprisingly though, texting seems to be one of the things men have the hardest time with. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When following up with a woman to get a first date, or even a second date, here are some things to keep in mind.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have something to say
\n<\/b>If you text a woman with \u201cHey, how’s it going?\u201d it doesn\u2019t leave much for her to respond to. You\u2019re going to get a response like \u201cGood,” which doesn\u2019t lead to anything significant. This is setting yourself up to do more work in order to make a conversation happen. To make it easier on yourself (and the woman you’re speaking with) always ask questions that can\u2019t be answered with a single word. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t act shy about asking for a date
\n<\/b>It doesn\u2019t pay to be shy now that you’re trying to set up the first date. Overcome shyness by practicing assertiveness and getting to the point. She already knows why you\u2019re messaging\u2014that was the point of talking to her in the first place\u2014so make it painless by letting her know what you want.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t ask
\n<\/b>Ok, so how exactly does a guy ask out a woman without asking her a question? The answer is simple\u2014use statements. Instead of saying, \u201cWould you like to grab a coffee sometime?\u201d phrase it as, \u201cLet\u2019s grab a coffee sometime.\u201d It comes across more assertively and sounds confident. It\u2019s no Jedi mind trick, but being assertive is attractive to women. Making this small change will have an affect on how potential dates respond to you, and how you feel about yourself. Confidence is an asset.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t \u201cGame\u201d Her<\/b>
\n<\/span>This seems to be more of a problem for younger guys who\u2019ve learned a warped version of dating. Although social skills are crucial, trying to be a psychologist who\u2019s pressing different buttons to get a reaction out of woman (or anyone for that matter) will make you come across as fake. Because it is fake. This is one area where being yourself rings true. Don\u2019t play games and be open about your interest. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t wait too long<\/b>
\n<\/span>The \u2018three day rule\u2019 is one of the worst dating ideas ever. I understand why a lot of guys follow it though. It\u2019s an attempt to not look needy. Maybe it\u2019s too obvious to mention, but the best way to not look needy is by eliminating neediness. This comes back to your character, and your character guides your behavior. Neediness is a good sign that your have something to work on. Aside from making you seem needy, waiting too long to send her a message creates a cooling off period. Life\u2019s busy, and she\u2019s going to forget what she felt when you talked to her those three days ago. Other guys are going to show up too, and your odds of keeping her interest are going to go down. To avoid cooling things off, message the same day you met. Even if you don\u2019t meet until later in the week, the momentum will still be there. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask her out on the first message
\n<\/b>If you got her number then she\u2019s already going to be interested in meeting you. Texting her to get into a back and forth conversation isn\u2019t necessary. This is something a lot of passive guys will have trouble with. It feels too quick to them, but it\u2019s really just a hidden worry about being turned down. When assertiveness isn\u2019t exercised, it will feel awkward. She knows why you got her number so now all you need to do is ask her out. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t try to be funny
\n<\/b>Humor is great when done properly. When it\u2019s not done well, it can be a big turn off. Save the jokes for your date. It isn\u2019t necessary in the text and you don\u2019t want to accidentally send mixed messages because you told a joke that didn\u2019t hit its mark. Having said that, some guys are good at funny texting and won\u2019t have a problem with it. Make sure you’re one of them before cracking too many jokes. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take the lead
\n<\/b>I\u2019ve seen a lot of guys lose opportunities because they left their potential date hanging. It often goes like this:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey Jen, we should get together later in the week.\u201d
\n<\/span>\u201cSure! Let\u2019s do that.\u201d
\n<\/span>\u201cGreat!\u201d
\n<\/span>\u201c……\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you ask someone out make sure to be specific and decisive. Don\u2019t wait for her to suggest a spot or activity. She\u2019s already interested, so after you find out which day works for both of you, suggest the time and place.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Follow up  texting
\n<\/b>So your date is set for the end of the week, should you send a follow-up text to keep her interest? The vast majority of the time this isn\u2019t necessary. Texting too much can be overbearing for someone you\u2019ve just met. It\u2019s also a major distraction for yourself, especially if you\u2019re a busy man. This doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t text at all though. Just let her initiate the conversation if she feels like chatting. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Confirm the date
\n<\/b>Showing up for a date that the other person forgets is definitely not a good feeling. This is why a confirmation text the day of your date is always a good idea. Especially if the date was set up more than four days earlier. When you follow up assume that she\u2019s still coming. Don\u2019t ask her, \u201cAre you still OK for tomorrow?\u201d This comes across as insecure because it sounds like you\u2019re either worried or don\u2019t believe she\u2019ll actually come. Instead, say \u201cHey Charlotte, I\u2019ll be outside of the Starbucks tomorrow at 6. See you then.\u201d All you have to do is mention where you\u2019ll be and at what time. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Avoid texting pitfalls
\n<\/b>One of the reasons I recommend not using too much humor or having long conversations over text in the beginning is because it\u2019s easy to misinterpret. An unintentional tonality can be interpreted and result in a loss of interest. When you\u2019re texting, you\u2019re missing out on body language, eye contact, and your voice. It\u2019s also much easier to recover in person if something isn\u2019t communicated right the first time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t forget that having a conversation over text or through a dating app isn\u2019t your main goal. Messaging should be used as a way to start things off then organize meeting up with someone in real life. Once you\u2019ve gone out a couple times, texting more often makes sense. However, in the early stages it\u2019s best to have your interactions in person.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with a little personality via text, but save most of it for when you see each other. That\u2019s where the real chemistry happens.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For more information about how to overcome shyness or to learn about confidence coaching, check out Eddy’s\u00a0articles How to Overcome Shyness<\/a> and Confidence Coaching.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eddy is a dating and personal development coach who specializes in building confidence. He helps guys crush personal obstacles to become the kind of men that women desire and men respect. Contact Eddy to learn about confidence coaching for life and dating.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cHey Jen, we should get together later in the week.\u201d
\n\u201cSure!\u201d
\n\u201cGreat!\u201d
\n\u201c…\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":121,"featured_media":14995,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[885],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-men"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Follow Up with a Woman You Just Met and Get a Date<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When following up with a woman to get a first date, or even a second date, here are some things to keep in mind. 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