Everyone knows that single person that\u2019s just kind of unicorny. They seem to be oozing confidence, they\u2019ve got an amazing social life, shiny hair, and they don\u2019t get what you\u2019re talking about when you causally mention your Netflix cave. It\u2019s almost as if a crippling need for love and attention doesn\u2019t dictate their self worth. Huh. Weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the flip side, we all probably know the perpetually attached serial dater who tends to focus on quantity over quality. As long as they\u2019re with someone, it beats being alone, and the most \u201csingle\u201d they\u2019ve ever been is juggling a handful of mediocre Tinder dates. Some people are fine with that, but more often than not these people don\u2019t feel all that fulfilled, and aren\u2019t having all that much fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do you become a Unicorn Single and not a Tinderella?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not always easy. Everyone wants to find love, and it doesn\u2019t happen easily or quickly for everyone. But enjoying being single makes the journey all the more tolerable. Fun, even. It\u2019s just a matter of getting good at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re not a natural Unicorn Single, it basically boils down to faking it till you make it. Here are five habits you can practice that will make you feel like you\u2019re killing it at Singledom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. They Date Themselves Can you imagine the quality of life people would have if they dated themselves just a little? Realizing you\u2019re special and worth some extended effort is a revelation, and the fact that you can dote upon yourself and feel amazing without waiting for someone to do it for you is a game changer. It increases your confidence, independence, and boosts your mood. And once you realize that you\u2019re worth that kind of effort all the time and not just when you\u2019re trying to lure someone into liking you, you\u2019ll start to learn that you don\u2019t have to rely on someone else to tell you you\u2019re special.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. They Trust the Process How many stories have you heard about a friend who agonized over a potential partner that just wasn\u2019t working out, and as soon and they stopped fretting, the love of their life fell into their lap?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s easier said than done, but believing that things will happen when they\u2019re meant to, how they\u2019re meant to, and with whom they\u2019re meant to alleviates the need to overanalyze every text, count the minutes between when someone will open your snap and respond, and daydream about the person you\u2019re crushing on being happy with someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you think about it, you want someone to fall for the actual you, not the version you\u2019re presenting just so they\u2019ll pay a little more attention to you. Be yourself. Enjoy yourself. And repeat the mantra, \u201cI can only be me, and they\u2019ll take it or leave it.\u201d Worrying only solves problems that haven\u2019t happened yet, so there\u2019s really no point! Letting go of what you can\u2019t control (someone else\u2019s feelings for you) is liberating once you get used to it. Plus it\u2019s better for your skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. They Have a Dog Dedicating some of your energy to taking care of someone or something shifts the focus off of what you\u2019re missing and onto what you have to give. Not to mention, it gives you a sense of companionship. Being relied on makes you feel needed, valued, and important, and that can go a long way when you\u2019re single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everyone is aware of that romantic comedy trope where post-heartbreak, the girl redecorates her apartment, plants tomatoes, starts a jewelry line, and begins bringing dinner to her elderly neighbor. And yes, while we can\u2019t shake the nagging feeling that she couldn\u2019t do all that on the budget of a budding young journalist, there\u2019s a nugget of truth there. And that truth is that finding purpose in your life doesn\u2019t always have to be tethered to being in love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. They Establish a Social Routine That Doesn\u2019t Just Consist of Couples Establish a boys\u2019 night out, or think of activities you can do with your girlfriends that won\u2019t allow for the conversation to disintegrate into wedding plans. Volunteer projects or classes that will introduce you to new social circles can keep you out of the couples rut too. Even regular solo dates, like standing yoga classes or personal goals like training for a 10K can help keep third-wheel hangs to a minimum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. They Make a List of What They Want Some of the best advice I have ever been given came shortly after a break up. A friend told me to think seriously about the relationship I had just exited, and after considering everything I had learned, make a list of everything I find essential in a partner. Not just an \u201cit would be great if\u2026\u201d list, but absolute essentials. It shifted my focus from, \u201cI\u2019m lonely and I want someone,\u201d to \u201cI will not settle for anything less than\u2026\u201d Dating became something that went from \u201cHow can I make myself more likeable?\u201d to \u201cWhat will this person do for my quality of life?\u201d and shifting from the interviewee to the interviewer was so empowering, I felt like a whole new person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Habits like this come naturally to some people. Maybe they\u2019re naturally independent. Maybe they\u2019re very extroverted, and it\u2019s less important to them what kind of company they\u2019re keeping. No matter what the reason, remember: everyone, even the most unicorny of single people, get lonely, needy, and sad sometimes. All the practice in the world won\u2019t make you immune to that, and you should never feel ashamed if you need a day or two to retreat back to the Netflix cave. As long as you always remember that you<\/em> are the true value you bring to any relationship, you\u2019ll start to learn that self-love is the best love of all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ever had a friend who was just really good at being single? Here are her secrets. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":15437,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[899],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-single-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n<\/strong>Imagine being newly enamored with yourself the way you are when you meet someone new. What kinds of things would you do to show you<\/em> you care? Cook yourself an incredible dinner? Get yourself a pedicure so you look nice? Buy yourself a little gift to show yourself that you\u2019re thinking of you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Que ser\u00e1, ser\u00e1. C\u2019est la vie. Easy come, easy go. Hakuna Matata. Did I miss anything?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Or a cat, or a fish, or a succulent garden, or sea monkeys\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Surrounding yourself with coupled bliss all the time is bound to weigh on you, making you feel the pressure of finding someone for yourself. And while you shouldn\u2019t abandon your coupled friends altogether, setting aside time that doesn\u2019t cater to double dates and dancing partners can be very healthy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Maybe not a physical list that hangs on the fridge, but successfully single people define the aspects of a relationship that are important to them, and they don\u2019t compromise on it. This practice is important because it keeps you from trusting too much in the rose-colored glasses that come with meeting someone new. So often people are so excited by the prospect of finding someone, they\u2019re willing to ignore traits or behaviors that would otherwise be deal-breakers. The trouble is, these issues always surface later on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n