{"id":15600,"date":"2017-11-24T01:00:38","date_gmt":"2017-11-24T09:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=15600"},"modified":"2021-05-31T13:02:47","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T20:02:47","slug":"pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Ross and Rachel did it. So did Carrie and Mr. Big. As did Miley and Liam (in real life), and, of course, Jelena. These are examples of couples\u2014both fictional and real\u2014who dizzied us with their off-and-on antics. Experts, including real ones and the so-called ones (otherwise known as your friends) might warn against getting back together with an ex, but is it really such a bad idea? After all, if you\u2019ve once experienced such a close connection with an ex, isn\u2019t reuniting with them what rom-com (and real) happy endings are made of?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re considering getting back together with your ex, no doubt you have a lot to consider. Which is why we came up with a list of pros and cons to help you figure it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>PRO:&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>You\u2019re already comfortable with each other.<br>\n<\/strong>No awkward silences or fumbled attempts at small talk are necessary here. Not only are you starting&nbsp;again from a comfortable foundation, but due to your connection, you&#8217;ll also experience the butterflies common with new relationships. It\u2019s basically a win-win situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>CON:&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>You\u2019re not as secure with one another.<br>\n<\/strong>Sure, you might be comfortable with each other, but that doesn\u2019t mean you feel completely secure. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/blog\/meet-catch-and-keep\/201407\/the-truth-about-again-again-couples\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Studies<\/a> have shown that married or couples who had at one point been on-again\/off-again\u2014or what psychologists refer to as \u201ccycling\u201d\u2014&nbsp;have more uncertainty about their relationship&#8217;s future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>PRO:&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>You\u2019ve seen each other at your worst.<\/strong><strong><br>\n<\/strong>The honeymoon period of dating often shrouds the true nature of your partner, as well as the true compatibility of the relationship. But with an on-and-off partner, you\u2019ve seen each other at your worst. You\u2019ve cried and you\u2019ve yelled. Your partner knows that you can be petty about which Netflix series to watch, and you know your partner gets hangry. You know what to expect, so you aren\u2019t entering a relationship with any idealistic expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>CON:&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>Old habits die hard.<br>\n<\/strong>You might know how to push each other\u2019s buttons, but that doesn\u2019t necessarily mean it\u2019s a good thing. It might be easy to fall back into a routine with an old flame, but if you aren\u2019t both consciously choosing to break old patterns\u2014especially the ones that caused your relationship\u2019s demise in the first place\u2014then you can expect to repeat the cycle again. Communicating what you both need the other to fix is a good place to start. However, people are creatures of habit, and if they don\u2019t want to change, they won\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>PRO:&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>You have a special connection.<br>\n<\/strong>There\u2019s a reason why you keep reconnecting with your ex. You probably had other relationships that you knew weren\u2019t going anywhere, thus didn\u2019t think twice about after their ends. But if there\u2019s a special type of energy pulling you back towards your ex, there might be a special reason behind it. Maybe your gut is telling you he or she could be the one, but the timing was wrong before. That\u2019s more than enough reason to give it a second shot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>CON:&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>It\u2019s harder to forget than to forgive.<br>\n<\/strong>You might forgive your ex for the pain he or she might have caused you, but that doesn\u2019t mean you entirely forget it. Harmful words and heartbreak\u2014as well as the emotional baggage attached to it\u2014can be difficult to shake. Getting back together with your ex means facing the hurt and rejection you\u2019ve experienced before, which can be a hurdle to your relationship getting off to a good, and lasting, start. If you aren\u2019t willing to let go of the past, then you won\u2019t have much of a future together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Though they\u2019ve been proven to be more stressful and confusing at times, the on-and-off relationships that are successful are the ones in which both parties allow their breakup(s) to serve as opportunities to improve themselves, both individually, and together. Instead of imagining what a relationship with an ex could be, openly negotiate what needs to work in order for you and your partner to grow together, rather than apart. Using a breakup as a time of growth and renewal, as well as applying the lessons you\u2019ve learned in the interim, could give you the happy ending you deserve.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Can on-and-off again relationships work out in the end? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":15602,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,998,884,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-break-up","category-dating-advice","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you\u2019re considering getting back together with your ex, no doubt you have a lot to consider. Here&#039;s a list of pros and cons to help you figure it out.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you\u2019re considering getting back together with your ex, no doubt you have a lot to consider. Here&#039;s a list of pros and cons to help you figure it out.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/briannehoganwriter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-11-24T09:00:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T20:02:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/11\/15134514\/breaking-up-and-getting-back-together.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brianne Hogan\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brianne Hogan\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together","description":"If you\u2019re considering getting back together with your ex, no doubt you have a lot to consider. Here's a list of pros and cons to help you figure it out.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together","og_description":"If you\u2019re considering getting back together with your ex, no doubt you have a lot to consider. Here's a list of pros and cons to help you figure it out.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/briannehoganwriter","article_published_time":"2017-11-24T09:00:38+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-05-31T20:02:47+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/11\/15134514\/breaking-up-and-getting-back-together.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Brianne Hogan","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Brianne Hogan","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/"},"author":{"name":"Brianne Hogan","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/998b0188341ae3769c173ccb0cd5ab72"},"headline":"Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together","datePublished":"2017-11-24T09:00:38+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T20:02:47+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/"},"wordCount":748,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/11\/15134514\/breaking-up-and-getting-back-together.jpg","articleSection":["Breaking Up Tips","Breakups","Dating Advice","Relationship Problems"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/","name":"Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/11\/15134514\/breaking-up-and-getting-back-together.jpg","datePublished":"2017-11-24T09:00:38+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T20:02:47+00:00","description":"If you\u2019re considering getting back together with your ex, no doubt you have a lot to consider. Here's a list of pros and cons to help you figure it out.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/11\/15134514\/breaking-up-and-getting-back-together.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2017\/11\/15134514\/breaking-up-and-getting-back-together.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A couple who is used to breaking up and getting back together hugging with their eyes closed."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pros-cons-breaking-getting-back-together\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dating Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today&#039;s Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/998b0188341ae3769c173ccb0cd5ab72","name":"Brianne Hogan","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/avatar_user_61_1624543834-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/avatar_user_61_1624543834-96x96.jpg","caption":"Brianne Hogan"},"description":"Brianne Hogan is a Canadian freelance writer who's been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a \"do what I say, not do what I do\" approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren't looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that's her motto). Brianne's byline has been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.","sameAs":["http:\/\/briannehogan.ca\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/briannehoganwriter"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/brianne-hogan\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/61"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15600\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}