Oh, if there were ever a litmus test for whether a new relationship has staying power or not, it comes in the form of Thanksgiving dinner. It takes all the stresses of a vacation, a heated political debate, and holiday traffic, and throws in meddling aunties who like to point out that there haven\u2019t been any babies around in a few years. It\u2019s crowded, it\u2019s loud, it\u2019s warm and stuffy, it never caters to everyone\u2019s dietary needs, and it\u2019s almost impossible to go an hour without waking the beast of differing political opinions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do you armor your fledgling and beautiful relationship so that the only carnage at the end of the meal is a bird carcass? Let\u2019s talk through some dos and don\u2019ts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DO: Prep your date on the guest list. DON\u2019T: Micromanage your date\u2019s behavior. DO: Ask ahead about anything you can help with. DON\u2019T: Abandon your date. DO: Have a hard-out. This list should be a pretty good start for cushioning the blow Thanksgiving dinner can have on a new relationship. I can\u2019t guarantee your date won\u2019t embarrass themselves by spilling wine all over their possible mother-in-law\u2019s new tablecloth, but hopefully by then you\u2019ve told your mom they\u2019re clumsy, and you\u2019ve told your date that your mom gets all her tablecloths on clearance at TJ Maxx anyway. Either way, the best way to ensure that things go smoothly is to remember that your date is in alien territory, and do your best to make them comfortable. The fact that they showed up to spend time with your family for a major holiday speaks volumes toward their effort to get to know you better, and that alone is a pretty great sign.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You might want to give your partner a heads up about drunk Uncle Jake. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":15613,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[893],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-stages"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n<\/strong>More often than not, people like walking into a situation like Thanksgiving dinner with a little background info. Give them the rundown on the guest list\u2014things like how many people will be there, who you especially think they\u2019ll get along with, and roughly how the day will go. If the invite says dinner will be at 2:00, but you know your family well enough to know that you won\u2019t be sitting down to eat until 5:00, point that out too, and maybe pack some car snacks for the drive there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Giving your partner a heads-up about sensitive subjects is totally fine; no one wants to ask the wrong question or trigger a weird cousin. But don\u2019t take it too far. If you\u2019re telling them not to do that thing where they make sound effects while they butter their rolls and begging them to take their piercings out, you\u2019re keeping your family from getting to know the person you love. If you want the relationship to last, your family is going to have to get to know your partner (and the two of you as a couple) eventually. Trust that your significant other can navigate the social aspect well enough on their own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>If your parents are hosting and you\u2019re going to be expected to dive in and get to work too, ask what kinds of things need to be done and what your partner can pitch in with. There is nothing more agonizing than being the \u201cextra\u201d and either being unsure about where to step in and offer help, or because you\u2019re a guest, being forbidden from lifting a finger while everyone else pitches in. It\u2019s awkward, and it feels like a test you\u2019re failing. Letting your mom know that your girlfriend enjoys cooking, or that your boyfriend is an expert napkin folder will help your significant other feel included and give them a chance to converse with your family over a shared task.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Slipping away to help haul in some firewood? Totally cool. Slipping away to play a two-hour game of flag football in the back yard? NOT cool. Leaving your date with a room full of people they don\u2019t know can be agonizing, especially when they\u2019re not comfortable enough to feel at home. Skip the ball game, or if you really want to play, ask your partner to join in, or at least make them a mug of cocoa and ask them to cheer you on for a little bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>If you\u2019re bringing a new boyfriend or girlfriend over for Thanksgiving for the first time, and this is the first time meeting your extended family, plan a time-frame that allows you to leave earlier than you would if you were flying solo. Excuses are easy\u2014You both want to make sure you have time to visit her grandma, he has to get on the road because it\u2019s a long drive home, etc. If things go great, you can always linger longer. If things go not-so-well, it\u2019s a kindness to the person who may not be used to Uncle Bob\u2019s bad jokes that you don\u2019t sign them up for a long weekend of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n