{"id":15703,"date":"2017-12-18T01:00:23","date_gmt":"2017-12-18T09:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=15703"},"modified":"2021-05-31T12:52:36","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T19:52:36","slug":"5-dating-tips-mean-but-true","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/5-dating-tips-mean-but-true\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Dating Tips That Are Kind of Mean but True"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Okay, who remembers the iconic gag in When Harry Met Sally<\/em> when Carrie Fisher\u2019s character incessantly asks for advice about the man she\u2019s having an affair with, and when her friends routinely tell her he\u2019s never going to leave his wife, she concedes, “You\u2019re right, you\u2019re right\u2026 I know you\u2019re right.”?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This. This is what true friends are for. We listen to your woes, we help you to overanalyze every text, and then we tell you the one thing you don\u2019t want to hear. Because sometimes, tough love is the most honest and helpful love of all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is especially true when it comes to dating. They say love is blind, and that\u2019s why you need someone with clear eyes to bop you on the head with a pillow and give you the brutal truth so you can perpetually ignore it and then learn the lesson on your own, eventually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are five dating tips that are brutally, but necessarily, honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Always assume first dates are serial killers
\n<\/strong>There\u2019s no need to be a pessimist about it, but stranger danger is a thing, and it\u2019s important to take some precautions. Tell a friend or roomie the name of who you\u2019re meeting up with, and exactly where you\u2019re going. Text them updates if plans change. And\u2026 it wouldn\u2019t hurt to have a code word with a bestie if you need to bail. Nine times out of ten, this will all be overkill, but don\u2019t let your guard down just because the person you met online and had one conversation with is super charming. You know who else is charming? Murders and people who start cults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. They don\u2019t love you\u2026 Not yet anyway.
\n<\/strong>I mean, look, don\u2019t get down about it or anything. But if you\u2019ve just started dating someone, you shouldn\u2019t assume they\u2019re as into you as you are into them. Lots of people meet someone they\u2019re crazy about and that\u2019s totally awesome, but it\u2019s almost impossible not to get ahead of yourself when that happens, and while your date is still playing the field, you\u2019re day-dreaming about wedding locations. Early on, it\u2019s best to maintain a, \u201cLet\u2019s just see where this goes…\u201d frame of mind. And don\u2019t go all-in emotionally until the two of you have talked about how you feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Stop texting so much.
\n<\/strong>In my opinion, we\u2019ve long-since-graduated from the \u201cwait two days\u201d rule of dating, but we are<\/em> deep into the \u201cdon\u2019t double-text\u201d era of dating, and while I feel that\u2019s a rule that can be broken, there\u2019s something to be said about mirroring someone\u2019s communication rate so you don\u2019t come off as overbearing. If you\u2019ve texted, texted again, and now you\u2019re checking your signal, checking their twitter feed, and checking your notifications cyclically every 15 minutes, cool it. Lock your phone in your trunk and go see a movie. No one likes coming back to 15 texts that chronicle your new date\u2019s neuroses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. If you\u2019re friends say they\u2019re bad news, they\u2019re probably bad news.
\n<\/strong>Your closest friends are huge assets when you\u2019re dating. They know you better than anyone else, they look out for you fiercely, and they\u2019re probably aware of your dating history and any bad habits you may have. If the people closest to you can\u2019t get behind the person you\u2019re seeing, there\u2019s probably a pretty good reason. When we\u2019re enamored with someone new, there\u2019s a LOT we\u2019re willing to overlook, but our friends are able to take a really honest look at someone, and give it to us straight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not to say they\u2019re always right. There\u2019s certainly room for a botched first impression. But if after getting to know your honey, your best friends are only lukewarm, it\u2019s probably time to take a long hard look at why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. No one cares if you\u2019re in love.
\n<\/strong>Once you\u2019ve found the one and you\u2019re blissfully happy, everyone is happy for you too! Your selfies are the cutest, and the way you gush about them gives us the warm-and-fuzzies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is, until week three. Facebook bragging about his sweet gestures, waxing romantic about how she\u2019s enriched your life, chronicling every trip you take together, even if it\u2019s just to McDonalds\u2026 We just don\u2019t care. We\u2019re busy living our lives with our seasoned relationships that piss us off half the time. If you don\u2019t want us shrugging and rolling our eyes by the time you guys get engaged, cool it. Stifle the sugary love declarations and save them for a mega-post on their birthday. We\u2019ll throw you a like then, and not before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most people have a brutally honest sister or a belovedly crass friend who has dispensed this information at one time or another, but because they\u2019re so close to you, the advice tends to fall on deaf ears. That\u2019s not to say it isn\u2019t valuable! Raise your hand if someone you know has thrown advice like this in your face\u2026 The idea is to take the message for it\u2019s intent. Regardless of how rude it sounds, it usually comes from a place of good intentions. We just want the best for you, bestie!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You\u2019re right, you\u2019re right\u2026 I know you\u2019re right!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Always assume first dates are serial killers. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":15704,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,899],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-single-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n5 Dating Tips That Are Kind of Mean, But True<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Not all dating tips are the ones you want to hear, they're the ones you need to hear. 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