If you\u2019ve been in the dating game for a while, and you\u2019re still single, the frustration can be enough to drive you crazy. That nagging question just gets louder and louder\u2026 “Is it me?” You\u2019re amazing, and I wouldn’t tell you think unless I thought I could help you\u2026 But ya, maybe. It might be you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are a lot of bad habits that singles fall into, and if you\u2019re guilty of one or two of them, recognizing it and nipping it in the bud may be the key to opening up doors to longer lasting, quality relationships. If you’re still single here are a few things to watch out for that could be holding you back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. You\u2019re trying too hard 2. You care more about having a “one” than finding the one. 3. You\u2019re wounded. 4. Your expectations are too high. 5. Your expectations are too low. 6. You\u2019re relying too much on kismet. 7. You\u2019re looking in the wrong places. 8. You fall too hard too fast. 9. You\u2019re unavailable. 10. You want to be. Are you sabotaging yourself without knowing it? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":15774,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[899],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-single-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n<\/strong>Trying too hard can manifest itself in lots of ways, shapes, and forms\u2014from being too eager, to working too hard to impress someone, or to simply over-texting. But a good way to tell if you\u2019re trying too hard is to take stock of your anxiety levels as you\u2019re seeing someone new. People who are overly nervous about the success of a relationship tend to act in overeager ways, which can put a lot of unintentional pressure on your counterpart and cause them to take a step back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>If you\u2019ve romanticized the idea of having that special someone to the degree that you lose sight of what a quality relationship looks like, this could be your problem. Settling for anyone that is interested in you just so you\u2019ve got a hand to hold doesn\u2019t make for a lasting relationship. Make a list of your non-negotiables when it comes to a partner, and adhere to it religiously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Self-preservation can be sneaky in that sometimes, you don\u2019t even realize you\u2019re doing it. If you\u2019ve gotten out of a rocky relationship and find that you\u2019re afraid you\u2019ll get hurt again or repeat past mistakes, you may be sabotaging your own dating efforts by chasing unavailable options or going after someone you know you\u2019re not compatible with. Being ready for a relationship after a bad break up can take a while, and if you find you\u2019re not quite ready, that\u2019s totally fine, regardless of pressures that friends or family may be putting on you. Work on taking care of yourself!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>While you should never settle for less than you deserve, it’s important to concede that everyone is human, and mistakes and missteps are unavoidable, especially as two people are starting to get to know each other. If you find yourself lusting after Nicholas Sparks characters, but are perpetually disappointed in your real life dating options because they don\u2019t know how to ride a horse, or paint, or have Ryan Gosling\u2019s face, you may just need a reality check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Just like having too-high expectations can cause you to pull the plug prematurely, having too-low expectations can cause you not to try at all. If you write off everyone you meet as a heartbreaker, you may be afraid to put yourself out there. If you find yourself saying, “They\u2019re great, but they’ll never be interested in me,” then you need to find ways to boost your self-esteem. Either way, working up the bravery to try and maybe fail is much easier said than done, but it\u2019s totally necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Serendipitous meet-cutes are the stuff of rom coms, and of course they happen. But if you\u2019re convinced that the one for you will fall into your lap when you least expect it, and then spend all your weekends eating cheese and watching Netflix at home, the likelihood that the universe will deliver is really thin. You\u2019ve gotta meet the cosmos halfway. Take a shower, get out there, and let the love of your life bump into you in a place where they won\u2019t have to know your address first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>If you\u2019re only attracted to beefy hunks, pick up all your dates at the gym, and then get disappointed when all they care about are protein and gains, you need to broaden your horizons. If you only ever go out at a certain bar, and the clientele there tends to be high rollers and you can only afford to hang with them for a week, Yelp a place that\u2019s under three dollar signs and explore. Mixing it up isn\u2019t guaranteed to be fruitful, but if you\u2019re in a rut when it comes to your usual dating habits, break them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Controlling lovesick emotions is near impossible, but if this tends to be the reason people slowly back away from you, examine any patterns you see and ask yourself why. What is making you fall so hard? Is it a certain personality trait? Are you a sucker for someone who’s hard to get? If you can catch the traits that shove you over the cliff early, you may be able to manage them. If you can never resist a dog lover, and his dating profile lists that he has two, brace yourself for the possibility that you may let this fact cloud your judgment and do your best to police your reactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>When it comes down to it, dating takes time and effort. If you\u2019re focused on your career, love traveling as much as you can, prefer to spend your free time on your hobbies, or let your friends monopolize your social life, connecting with someone new could be difficult. It may be as simple as finding someone who already exists where the components of your life intersect. But if you have trouble meeting people in your day-to-day life and you wonder why the few dates you\u2019ve been on fall to the wayside, it may be worth asking yourself how much attention you\u2019re actually investing in the dating game, and whether you can step it up a notch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>The good news about this one is it doesn\u2019t require a solution at all. There are times in everyone\u2019s life where being independent feels great! It allows for personal growth, exploration, and a little bit of selfishness, which, especially as a single person, can be incredibly healthy. There are all kinds of social pressures to couple up, but if you\u2019ve paused, and after being completely honest with yourself just really LOVE being single, GO FOR IT. Even if you do want to find someone and can\u2019t, it\u2019s important to remind yourself of the benefits of flying solo for a little while. And just remember, the right person will show up when, and how they\u2019re supposed to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"