{"id":16175,"date":"2018-03-02T01:00:16","date_gmt":"2018-03-02T09:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=16175"},"modified":"2023-11-22T13:50:03","modified_gmt":"2023-11-22T21:50:03","slug":"dating-someone-doesnt-want-get-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/dating-someone-doesnt-want-get-married\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating Someone Who Doesn\u2019t Want to Get Married"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It\u2019s safe to assume that by now we\u2019ve evolved into a culture that respects someone\u2019s choice not to marry. Marriage isn\u2019t the end-all and be-all for everyone\u2014their are singles who’d like to remain that way, couples who prefer to stay together without marriage, or people who have already been down that road before don’t want to go down it again. Whatever the reasons, c<\/span>ommitment doesn’t always mean you need a marriage certificate, but for some people, putting a ring on it is the ultimate goal of dating. So what happens if the person you\u2019re dating doesn\u2019t want to get married or you do? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The discussion of marriage while dating<\/a> is a tricky situation. You don\u2019t want to bring it up too early, thus placing unnecessary pressure on a premature relationship. But on the other hand, you don\u2019t want to wait until you\u2019ve already planned your wedding on Pinterest only to hear your beloved say, “I just don\u2019t see myself ever getting married.”<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Differing on the value of marriage doesn\u2019t have to be a deal-breaker in your relationship. However, it’s definitely something to discuss and evaluate with your partner so you understand how you both feel. Here\u2019s what you need to consider:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. How is their history affecting your current relationship. <\/strong>
\n<\/span>There\u2019s some validity behind the old excuse of, \u201cI don\u2019t need a piece of paper to prove my commitment to you,\u201d when your partner was previously married. Maybe his or her past experience has soured their view on marriage. Not because they don\u2019t love you or want to be with you, but mostly because they don\u2019t want to go through the potential fallout of a messy divorce. Another reason? Maybe they’re a child of divorce, and thus have a painful experience of marriage. Getting a frame of reference is essential to understanding your partner\u2019s reasons for not wanting to marry. From there, you\u2019ll be able to determine whether or not that\u2019s enough reason for you to continue being with this person. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Are they even ready for marriage?
\n<\/span><\/strong>Sometimes someone says they don\u2019t want to get married because they aren\u2019t ready to marry at the present or near future. It doesn\u2019t mean marriage is completely off the table, but only that they\u2019re not in the right headspace to consider walking down the aisle with anyone. At this point, you\u2019ll need to determine whether you want to continue a relationship with your partner. Maybe they’ll never be ready, or maybe they won’t be ready soon enough for your timeline. You can\u2019t or shouldn\u2019t wait for someone who\u2019s not willing to give you what you need. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Are they worried your relationship will change? <\/strong>
\n<\/span>It\u2019s clich\u00e9 but true\u2014a number of people worry that once they get married then their relationship will change. Sex will be sporadic. You\u2019ll fight more over stupid stuff like chores and underwear on the floor. They\u2019ll be held more accountable for things. Money might also be an issue. Some men don\u2019t want to marry unless they feel financially stable and secure. Basically, they don\u2019t want to be forced into something constrictive and would rather enjoy what they have\u2014something that allows more freedom. This is a good indication that you two should discuss how you both see your relationship, and where it\u2019s headed. Maybe you can eventually find a compromise, but if your values aren\u2019t matching up, it might be time to split. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. What\u2019s your reason for getting married. <\/strong>
\n<\/span>You both need to figure out your why. You need to know why your partner doesn\u2019t want to get married as much as you need to figure out why you need to get married. Is it just to have a big fabulous wedding, or is it because you want to spend the rest of your life with your perfect partner? Sometimes we assume we want marriage because that\u2019s the social construct in which we\u2019ve been raised. But if you\u2019re with someone who checks off all the boxes of who you want in a life partner, then perhaps you might want to consider whether you could be happy with a commitment ceremony rather than an official wedding. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimately, in order for a successful relationship to have serious staying power, your values and goals for the relationship are important to consider, but so is your ability to communicate and compromise. Be realistic with what you both are asking for when it comes to commitment, whether that means not pushing for marriage six months into your relationship or waiting six years before discussing marriage in your relationship. Most importantly, weigh your happiness. Does this partner make you feel happy, safe, and secure? Can you both see yourselves spending the rest of your lives together? If the answer is yes, then maybe that\u2019s all you need. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What to do when what you want doesn’t align with what they want. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":16176,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,891,893],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-stages"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDating Someone Who Doesn\u2019t Want to Get Married<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you dating someone who doesn't want to get married and you're not sure what to do? 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