{"id":16184,"date":"2018-03-05T01:00:18","date_gmt":"2018-03-05T09:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=16184"},"modified":"2021-05-31T12:45:54","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T19:45:54","slug":"coming-on-too-strong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/coming-on-too-strong\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Things Women Do When You\u2019re Coming On Too Strong"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Many of us have heard the term, \u201ccoming on too\u201d strong but it\u2019s hard to identify what it actually looks like when you\u2019re out there trying to meet someone. For me, coming on too strong means that the way you\u2019re acting, either through your words, texting, constant contact, eagerness to make plans, or quickness to commit, is out of sync with the way the woman you\u2019re trying to date is acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Basically, it\u2019s when what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t in line with what she wants from you. Because of that, even if you have the best of intentions, your eagerness comes across as too much for her. Which is a nice way of saying, you may be creeping the heck out her and she can\u2019t handle it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a wing girl<\/a> to hundreds of thousands of men all around the world, I get to see tons of examples of guys being too strong in their approach with women. It always bothers me because I also get to see the awesome men underneath, whose behaviors are messing up their chances of being with some wonderful women. With the guys I work with, their behavior is often so out of character when compared with the men I know they are. It makes me feel for them but it also drives me nuts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because, on the flip side, I am a woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve experienced this too strong behavior from men while dating and if I\u2019m being honest, it does not feel good. It feels heavy and scary and intense\u2026 all the things that I instantly want to get away from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would be nice if I would say to these men, \u201cI know that this behavior is not really who you are but could you please not come on so strong? It makes me feel very uncomfortable and is really turning me off. You don\u2019t even know me yet.\u201d But most likely I won\u2019t do that. And most women won\u2019t either. I\u2019m human and therefore when a man comes on too strong, I may not confront it head on. Instead, I find other ways to address it. And so do other woman. So how do you know if what you\u2019re doing is causing a woman to want to run away?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s a list of seven things women do when you\u2019re coming on too strong:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IF she just met you and isn\u2019t invested in any kind of relationship yet:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. She\u2019ll ghost you.
\n<\/strong>Ghosting is the new Facebook\u2014it\u2019s what everyone is doing and using to avoid reality. Ghosting is when a woman acts as if she\u2019s died on you, hence the ghosting because she no longer seems to exist in your world. When a woman disappears, it\u2019s one of the signs you\u2019ve come on too strong. It\u2019s also a sign that she wasn\u2019t feeling it with you in the first place and instead of being a big girl and telling you, she chose to simply not deal with it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. She\u2019ll kindly tell you to go away.
\n<\/strong>If you\u2019re approaching a woman for the first time, whether it\u2019s in person or online, and coming on to strong she may politely tell you that she\u2019s not into what you\u2019re putting out there. For example she may say something like, \u201cI wish you luck on your search. I don\u2019t think this will work.\u201d Or in person, she may say, \u201cMe and my friends haven\u2019t seen each other in so long so we\u2019d really like just catch up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IF she\u2019s gone on one date with you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. She\u2019ll continue to make plans and then cancel.<\/strong>
\nIf you\u2019re coming on too strong, a woman will continue to agree to plans with you but then cancel last minute. She may even continue to offer up alternative options but will cancel on those plans as well. She\u2019s doing this because she\u2019s trying to be polite and not rattle things. If you\u2019re this strong in your emotions and actions when you like her, she\u2019s probably worried what you\u2019ll be like if she breaks your heart or expresses disinterest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. She\u2019ll delay her responses.
\n<\/strong>When a woman takes a day and a half to get back to you it\u2019s a huge sign that you need to slow your roll and back off a bit. I always advise men to mirror a woman\u2019s responses. It\u2019s a way to avoid coming on to strong and will make her feel like you\u2019re on the same page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. She\u2019ll send you simple, short responses.
\n<\/strong>A woman doesn\u2019t want to entice a man she\u2019s not interested in but she also doesn\u2019t want to be rude. Therefore, she\u2019ll keep responding to you, probably at a very slow pace, but all messages will be short, sweet, to the point, and void of any emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IF she\u2019s invested and likes you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. She\u2019ll pull away.
\n<\/strong>I remember this one guy that I dated a long time. When I first met him, I really liked him\u2014I liked how he acted, I like how I felt around him. Overall, I liked most things about him and was excited to get into a relationship with him. But as soon he started getting a little too eager and moving things fast, I pulled away. His desire to race into things so fast had me questioning my feelings for him. I kept thinking, \u201cHe likes me sooo much more than I like him. Do I even like him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. She\u2019ll tell you that you\u2019re being too intense.
\n<\/strong>This is the most mature reaction a woman can have when a man\u2019s coming on too strong and hopefully the one that she\u2019ll use the most, especially if she\u2019s invested in you. A mature woman will simply tell you that she\u2019s not on the same page as you and needs things to slow down and not be so intense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of these are happening to you, it\u2019s time to take a look in the mirror, examine your behavior, and see if you\u2019re coming on too strong. Go back and look at your text messages or emails to women and read them to yourself as if a stranger was writing to you\u2014Would you find them too intense?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next time you approach and get any of the responses that I listed up above, pause, breathe, and then ask the woman you\u2019re with, \u201cAm I coming on to strong?\u201d in a curious, sincere way and see what she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first step is recognizing what you\u2019re doing. Then you can shift your behaviors and the way you approach woman it so that you\u2019re no longer the eager, needy pouncer that comes on too strong and scares women away. Instead, you\u2019ll a give the woman you\u2019re with a chance to get to you know and your real character. Not the character of the \u2018guy in pursuit\u2019, but who you really are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marni is the founder of The Wing Girl Method and a wing girl to hundreds of thousands of men around the world. She teaches men how to attract, date, and get any girl they want. Learn more by visiting her site The Wing Girl Method<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few of the things women do when they’re not on the same page as you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":113,"featured_media":16185,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,885],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-dating-advice-men"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n7 Things Women Do When You\u2019re Coming On Too Strong<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Wondering if you're coming on too strong to the women you're interested in? 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