{"id":16236,"date":"2022-12-07T05:02:14","date_gmt":"2022-12-07T13:02:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=16236"},"modified":"2024-07-17T09:06:25","modified_gmt":"2024-07-17T16:06:25","slug":"lust-vs-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Here’s How To Tell The Difference Between Lust vs. Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Knowing the difference between lust vs. love isn\u2019t always easy. After all, in those first few exciting, passionate months of a new relationship<\/a>, it can be difficult to differentiate the two. They both feel all-consuming and overwhelming. And, they both take up the majority of your waking thoughts once they set in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how do we tell the difference between love and lust, and what are some common signs to look out for? We\u2019ve tackled all this, and more, below!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lust vs. Love Definition: Defining the Two Concepts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Before jumping into the differences between lust vs. love, it\u2019s important to cover what these two things are. From there, you\u2019ll be in a better place to understand exactly what it is you\u2019re feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A quick definition of lust: <\/strong>Mirriam-Webster defines lust<\/a> as \u201cintense or unbridled sexual desire.\u201d This can manifest in different ways, some of which might initially appear similar to love. The desire to constantly be around one another, for example, may look like love at first, but could be due to the fact you simply cannot<\/em> stop undressing each other!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A quick definition of love: <\/strong>The Oxford English Dictionary\u2019s definition of love describes feelings of \u201cdeep affection or fondness for someone, typically arising from a recognition of attractive qualities, from natural affinity, or from sympathy.\u201d This may well have elements of lust \u2013 sexual desire between two partners is generally considered a good sign \u2013 but it tends to run much deeper with feelings of love.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5 Common Signs of Lust to Look Out For<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Understanding the differences between lust vs. love can be tricky without knowing a few of the common signs. To help you out with this, we\u2019ve put together five signs of lust to look out for!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Every thought you have about them is sexual<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Look, it\u2019s totally normal for people falling in love to think about jumping on their partner several times per minute. But, if you\u2019re every thought regarding your love interest is related in some way to their body or physical intimacy, you may well be experiencing lust rather than love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Your plans are sex-focussed<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you find that you and your partner tend to plan dates and hangouts that always take place within several paces of a bed, it\u2019s possible that you\u2019re more interested in one another\u2019s bodies than each other\u2019s personalities \u2014 a common sign of lust rather than love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. You don\u2019t connect on a deeper level<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Do you discuss hopes and dreams, talk about long-harbored ambitions, or share fears and regrets? Do you discuss philosophical conundrums<\/a> and ponder life\u2019s big questions together? Have you exchanged secrets nobody else knows in the world?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or do all your conversations invariably circle back to the physical?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. There\u2019s no talk of the future<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If your relationship is built solely on lust, it\u2019s likely you won\u2019t find yourselves talking about the future too often. This tends to be for the simple reason that you both know on some level that there isn\u2019t likely to be one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the thought of making a home with them, building a life together, and growing old with one another doesn\u2019t appeal to you in the slightest \u2013 but you still inexplicably crave them \u2013 you\u2019re probably experiencing lust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. You act in your self-interest<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Now, this isn\u2019t an all-encompassing rule. People in love are perfectly capable of bouts of selfishness. However, when we\u2019re in love, we consider our partner in our decisions. After all, we want them to be happy and we care about how they feel emotionally, as well as physically. If this is rarely the case, it might be lust rather than love that you\u2019re feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4 Signs You Might Be in Love<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re not experiencing any of the common signs of lust outlined above, then there\u2019s a good chance you might in love. To help you figure this out, we\u2019ve outlined four common signs of love below!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. You adore them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Lust\u2019s adoration tends to revolve entirely around the physical. But, when you fall in love with someone, you\u2019ll likely be emotionally attracted<\/a> to them and might find yourself watching everything they do with hearts in your eyes. The way they talk, the way they walk, the way they laugh, the way they sneeze \u2013 adorable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. You think about the future with them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Do you ever catch yourself looking at them and, without realizing it, slip into a daydream about where you might be together in twenty years? If so, it might just be love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. You talk about everything <\/em>together<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When we fall in love, it\u2019s common to want to know all there is to know about our partner. This can lead to all manner of weird and wonderful conversations, on everything from your childhood to your most niche hobbies and interests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. You both put work in<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Lust is passionate. An explosion. But, like an explosion, it can finish just as quickly as it started. A simple disagreement or argument may can create a toxic love-hate relationship<\/a> or even be enough to finish things off completely. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When it\u2019s love, however, you and your partner will be equally determined to fix arguments before they grow too big and to find compromises you can both feel safe and happy with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s the Difference Between Love and Lust?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Lust and love differences aren\u2019t always that clear. Below, we\u2019ve outlined some of the key differences when it comes to lust vs. love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. <\/strong>Lust is all about gratification, pleasure, and gleeful encounters. Love typically focuses on communication, cooperation, comfort, security, and trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. <\/strong>Lust is very fun but brief while love is typically a slow burner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. <\/strong>Lust is usually all about immediate gratification. Love might be harder to come by, yet is more fulfilling on a deeper level. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. <\/strong>Being engulfed in lust tend to make us focus on ourselves while being in love usually means dedicating a lot of our time and energy to making our partner\u2019s life as wonderful as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can Lust Become Love?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Yes! Many relationships that go on to be loving, trusting partnerships begin with a flurry of passion and lust. It\u2019s totally natural. The torrent of hormones released when we like someone new can make us impulsive and excitable! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, in cases where lust becomes love, this flurry of initial passion tends to occur alongside all the coziness and \u201cgetting-to-know-you\u201d chats.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can Love Become Lust?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It generally works the other way around. However, for couples who have been together a long time, there may come moments when the passion that once existed seems dimmed. In these circumstances, couples might choose to spice up the relationship<\/a> somehow, often by trying new things in their sex life<\/a> or through couples therapy. In this sense, love can<\/em> regain that element of lust further down the line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is It Lust or Love? How to Tell Figure Out What You\u2019re Feeling<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Still not sure? Don\u2019t fret \u2013 there\u2019s an easy way to determine the age-old question of lust vs. love: Just stop having sex<\/em>. This could be for a few days or a couple of weeks. Put a pause on the physical side of things and see if your passion for one another continues. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you still interested in talking to them when sex is off the table? Do you still want to be around each other when you can do no more than hold hands? If yes, there\u2019s love there. If you find you\u2019re not that excited to hang out together when you have your clothes on, it may lust instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both love and lust are valid emotions and sources of great pleasure. If you\u2019re lucky, you might even experience both on your way toward taking your relationship to the next level<\/a>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you in love or lust? Here are a few ways to tell the difference. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":220,"featured_media":29843,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16236","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLust vs Love: 5 Surefire Ways to Tell What You're Feeling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Lust vs love is hard to differentiate at first, but the biggest difference is staying power. Lust is about now. Love is about the future.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Lust vs Love: 5 Surefire Ways to Tell What You're Feeling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Lust vs love is hard to differentiate at first, but the biggest difference is staying power. Lust is about now. Love is about the future.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-12-07T13:02:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-07-17T16:06:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/03\/09162556\/lust-vs-love.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dan Hackett\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dan Hackett\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Lust vs Love: 5 Surefire Ways to Tell What You're Feeling","description":"Lust vs love is hard to differentiate at first, but the biggest difference is staying power. Lust is about now. Love is about the future.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Lust vs Love: 5 Surefire Ways to Tell What You're Feeling","og_description":"Lust vs love is hard to differentiate at first, but the biggest difference is staying power. Lust is about now. Love is about the future.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2022-12-07T13:02:14+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-07-17T16:06:25+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/03\/09162556\/lust-vs-love.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Dan Hackett","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Dan Hackett","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/"},"author":{"name":"Dan Hackett","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/aab47cd31eaefd6c54d3143561520560"},"headline":"Here’s How To Tell The Difference Between Lust vs. Love","datePublished":"2022-12-07T13:02:14+00:00","dateModified":"2024-07-17T16:06:25+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/"},"wordCount":1330,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/GettyImages-1194307764lust-vs-love-scaled.jpeg","articleSection":["Dating Advice"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/","name":"Lust vs Love: 5 Surefire Ways to Tell What You're Feeling","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/GettyImages-1194307764lust-vs-love-scaled.jpeg","datePublished":"2022-12-07T13:02:14+00:00","dateModified":"2024-07-17T16:06:25+00:00","description":"Lust vs love is hard to differentiate at first, but the biggest difference is staying power. Lust is about now. Love is about the future.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/GettyImages-1194307764lust-vs-love-scaled.jpeg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/GettyImages-1194307764lust-vs-love-scaled.jpeg","width":2560,"height":1707,"caption":"Happy couple standing outdoors with backs against a wall while man kisses woman on the head as they're in a lust vs. love relationship."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/lust-vs-love\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dating Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Lust vs. Love: 5 Ways to Tell What You\u2019re Feeling"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/aab47cd31eaefd6c54d3143561520560","name":"Dan Hackett","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/avatar_user_220_1605090984-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/avatar_user_220_1605090984-96x96.jpg","caption":"Dan Hackett"},"description":"Dan Hackett is a dating and relationships writer. Originally from England, he's been writing about all things romance for several years now and has contributed to online dating sites such as EliteSingles and SilverSingles. Elsewhere, he recently wrote his first novel - though he's not tried to get it published yet. Instead, he's currently sitting on it like a goose on an egg, mortified at the prospect of releasing it into the world. Dan has been working with Zoosk to create unique and insightful content around all aspects of online dating, love, and relationships.","sameAs":["https:\/\/worldhangover.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/dan-hackett\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16236","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/220"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16236"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16236\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29843"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}