{"id":16623,"date":"2018-05-12T01:00:49","date_gmt":"2018-05-12T08:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=16623"},"modified":"2021-05-31T12:39:07","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T19:39:07","slug":"how-to-build-sexual-tension","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/healthy-relationships\/how-to-build-sexual-tension\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Build Sexual Tension: Tips from Top Sexologists"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In order to maintain a hot and steamy sex life, you\u2019ve got to learn how to build sexual tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It\u2019s not just a precursor to pleasure\u2014it’s pleasure in and of itself,” says Dr. Jess O\u2019Reilly, Astroglide\u2019s resident sexologist. “Research shows that dopamine (a neurotransmitter in the brain associated with pleasure) is actually released in anticipation of receiving a reward (e.g. hot sex) as opposed to when the reward is received.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She adds that when the anticipation is peppered with unpredictability, dopamine levels are twice as high. So one of the keys to building sexual tension is to build anticipation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try these 12 expert-approved ways to build sexual tension:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Start in the morning.<\/strong>
\nWe\u2019re all in a rush in the morning, so while you\u2019re still laying in bed together after the alarm goes off, Dr. Jess says to kiss, touch, fondle, and get all riled up. But save the orgasm for the evening when you get home. This will keep that sexual tension alive all day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Use that unlimited text plan.<\/strong>
\nSend some sexy and suggestive texts such as, \u201cCan\u2019t wait till Friday night,” or, “I\u2019ve got the strawberries,” suggests Xanet Pailet<\/a>, a sex and intimacy coach, and author of “Living an Orgasmic Life.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Be creative\u2014alluring pictures can also start to build up the tension,” explains Pailet. “The key here is to create anticipation and desire.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Talk dirty at creative times.<\/strong>
\n“Whisper something naughty in their ear while you\u2019re out for dinner or at the theatre,” says Dr. Jess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Tease them with your lips.<\/strong>
\nDr. Jess suggests using breath kisses to build anticipation through the day\/week. “Bring your lips as close to the surface of their skin as possible and breath gentle kisses over their collarbone, neck, inner thighs, etc.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Touch and make out often.<\/strong>
\nAnd not just when other sexual activity is on the table. “If you touch and kiss more often and it doesn\u2019t always lead to orgasm, you\u2019ll make sex less predictable and reap the benefits of physical affection,” adds Dr. Jess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Video sext.<\/strong>
\nExchange short seductive sext videos with or without sound, suggests New York Times best-selling author Mary \u201cHoneyB\u201d Morrison, who is also a relationship and sex expert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Don\u2019t overthink putting a smile on your partner\u2019s face. Suction your mouth to a juicy peach, lick it, slowly circle your tongue around your lips, (moan if you want) then mouth, ‘You\u2019re next.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Send love notes.<\/strong>
\nHandwrite or text sexy riddles. “A naughty thought-provoking moment can make your lover hold his or her breath, anticipating what will happen if they get it right. No matter what the riddle, all answers lead to increasing your lover\u2019s libido,” says Pailet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Restrain yourself.<\/strong>
\nThe longer you go without sex, the more you\u2019ll want it. “Ban certain types of sex for set periods of time (e.g. no intercourse for a week),” says Dr. Jess. If you and your partner can hold out, when you finally get to get down, it\u2019ll feel hotter than ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Get touchy.<\/strong>
\nPhysically teasing a partner is extremely effective in creating tension. “A pinch on the butt, a bite on the neck, or deep intimate kissing, which does not lead to sex, starts to kindle the sexual fires of desire,\u201d says Pailet. This might be coupled with a whisper of, \u201cMore later.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Mix it up.<\/strong>
\nHave different types of sex at various times and in a range of places. Changing timing and location is a great way to be less predictable and build sexual tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Try it in your laundry room or in the backseat of your car and then tease one another about all the hot experiences you\u2019ve had to keep the tension high for months and years to come,” says Dr. Jess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Don\u2019t ever stop flirting!<\/strong>
\n“Flirting signals interest and desire, a key ingredient for a healthy sexual relationship. Leave a sexy voice message on your partner\u2019s phone, whisper something provocative into their ear, put on your best sexy look using bedroom eyes or a mischievous smile,” suggests Pailet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You’ll be building tension, and excitement, that will drive your partner wild.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“It\u2019s not just a precursor to pleasure\u2014it’s pleasure in and of itself.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":16624,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[894,891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-relationships","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Build Sexual Tension: Tips from Top Sexologists<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In order to maintain a hot and steamy sex life, you\u2019ve got to learn how to build sexual tension. 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