{"id":16748,"date":"2018-07-03T14:00:29","date_gmt":"2018-07-03T21:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=16748"},"modified":"2022-03-31T03:17:45","modified_gmt":"2022-03-31T10:17:45","slug":"how-not-to-care-about-what-someone-thinks-of-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/how-not-to-care-about-what-someone-thinks-of-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How Not to Care About What Someone Thinks of You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you’re out there trying to date, sometimes it’s hard not to care just a little too much about what people think of you. Especially if you’re online dating and in a bit of a rut, the rejection can be disheartening. So how can you snap out of your negativity and empower yourself to rise above all the nonsense? If you want to feel brave and sexy again and here\u2019s the key: stop caring about what people think of you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s easier said than done, sure. But it\u2019s possible. All you need the right mindset and it all comes down to confidence. Here\u2019s how to find it. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Rebuild boundaries.
\n<\/b>Broken boundaries leave room for people to cross them. When you\u2019re struggling with low self-esteem, you\u2019re more likely to tolerate disrespectful behavior because you care too much about what someone thinks of you. <\/span>And you try to be more likable by shying away from having standards and expectations. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That tells someone you care more about having them as your date than you do about your own self-worth. You’re so concerned about whether or not the other person likes you, that you forget to think about whether or not you even like them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of getting so wrapped up in the chase and whether or not you’re winning the other person over, start prioritizing yourself by establishing clear boundaries. It will help you figure out what you\u2019re willing to accept from another person and what you won\u2019t. Whether or not he person you’re with agrees with your rules is irrelevant. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Follow through with boundaries.
\n<\/b>Making boundaries means following-through. If you care too much about what someone thinks, you fear their disapproval and are less likely to follow through. Then, your so-called boundaries are just an illusion of self-respect and not the real deal. They should demand action. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For this reason, you should always keep your boundaries strong, like a steel wall, so you\u2019re more protected against shady people. Don\u2019t try to understand their lousy behavior or accept excuses. The minute you care what they think, you\u2019re making that negativity more important than you. This self-doubt makes you feel weak and more susceptible to lousy treatment because the person sees your boundaries aren\u2019t actually real. That\u2019s super destructive for your self-esteem. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Become less shallow.
\n<\/b>Ok, so it sounds harsh and it’s hard to hear, but part of seeking other’s approval is needing affirmation for yourself. If you have trouble recognizing lousy people, you might be a shallow dater. You don’t want to get to a point where you care about what the wrong people think of you, and blow up their level of importance. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe in the past, you\u2019ve gotten a negative vibe or a weird gut feeling about someone who\u2019s not right for you, but you ignore it because they’re attractive or their attention makes you feel good. Maybe they\u2019ve got a killer bod, a great job that pays a lot, or a lot of friends and status. But what really makes this person so qualified to judge you? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By recognizing that the need for someone’s attention and admiration is somewhat shallow, you\u2019ll realize that their opinions aren\u2019t that special after all. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>4. Let go of the fantasy.
\n<\/b>Caring what someone thinks of you clouds your ability to see clearly. It creates a gap between your dreamy illusion of the relationship you picture and the actual truth of what the person offers.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So let\u2019s say you\u2019re infatuated by someone, maybe it\u2019s their charisma, success or sex appeal, but the essential ingredients needed to make a healthy partnership are lost. Do you tend to ignore these flaws to protect your fantasy relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re judgement is overshadowed by your fantasy, you cling onto the fairy-tale of what you hope to build with someone rather than actually experiencing that awesomeness in real life. You need to be more invested in reality and less concerned with their thoughts or scraps of effort.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If not, you\u2019re just chasing a fantasy relationship, looking for validation from someone who doesn\u2019t even deserve to validate you. Don\u2019t settle for someone who can\u2019t appreciate your hopes and dreams; your happiness is yours to control.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Don\u2019t trust so freely.
\n<\/b>When you lack confidence, you\u2019re more vulnerable to trusting someone\u2019s criticism. Since you don\u2019t have a strong relationship with yourself, you\u2019re more drawn to their visions of the truth. And what\u2019s worse, you usually end up trusting the untrustworthy ones.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps you tend to trust a certain type. Usually it\u2019s the person who comes across super cool and likable with that magnetic energy that pulls you close, compelling you to drop your guard. It\u2019s tempting to trust because they sell themselves like some hotshot catch and then BOOM, you\u2019re convinced their word is gold. Suddenly, you start caring way too much about what they think of you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overtime, you\u2019ll begin to trust your own judgements less. But being hypnotized into worshipping someone\u2019s judgements above your own is just brainwashing. It completely undermines your own power. Stop trusting so easily!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Stay true to yourself.
\n<\/b>Learn to be your own best friend. And then ask yourself: should I really value this person\u2019s opinion of me? If you respect your own advice, you\u2019ll know the truth deep down.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you love yourself, you treat yourself better and can make mature decisions about whose opinions really matter. So what if they think you\u2019re weird or boring or too spiritual? Everyday, you need to wake up and absorb this positive, self-empowering energy. Then, you\u2019ll become more selective about the types of people you bring into your life. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

With a stronger filtering system for bad people, you\u2019ll never need to battle what someone thinks of you because they\u2019ll never enter your life in the first place. Or at the very least, even if they do get some stage presence in your life, they won\u2019t matter because you matter more. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a happy, confident person means believing your time is precious. Try to only date people who are worthy of you instead of people who seem wonderful in your imagination. Because if they can\u2019t offer care, respect and commitment, they don\u2019t really matter. And if you can\u2019t defend your own standards, nobody else will. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimately, your sense of worth shouldn\u2019t be measured by what someone thinks of you; it\u2019s experienced by valuing yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you’re out there trying to date, sometimes it’s hard not to care just a little too much about what people think of you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":209,"featured_media":16951,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,899],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-single-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow Not to Care About What Someone Thinks of You<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's easier said than done to stop caring about what someone thinks about you. But it\u2019s possible. 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