{"id":17195,"date":"2018-08-14T01:00:37","date_gmt":"2018-08-14T08:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17195"},"modified":"2024-07-18T13:32:18","modified_gmt":"2024-07-18T20:32:18","slug":"dating-after-50-social-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating After 50: Are Your Kids Annoyed with Your Social Life?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When you first got divorced or lost your spouse, your kids were sympathetic and tried to cheer you up, right? They called you all the time and asked, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d<\/span> in that voice of concern they develop for dealing with aging, lonely parents. You\u2019d say you were okay or getting there, and that you were always available to babysit the grandchildren.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now that you\u2019re dating, you have to ask them to speak up because you\u2019re at a happy hour or a Doobie Brothers concert. \u201cYou\u2019re out again?\u201d they say, with just a touch of jealousy.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though your kids may be grown-ups, they\u2019ll still react when you start behaving like a teenager again. Here\u2019s some of what you can expect:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They get protective.
\n<\/b>Your kids don\u2019t want you to get hurt, so they want to make sure you\u2019re only getting involved with someone who will love the crap out of you forever. They hate hearing when a burgeoning romance suddenly ends, and it makes them worry about you.   <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To spare them going through the ups and downs of your dating life, it\u2019s often better to develop some kind of vague answer when they ask you if there\u2019s someone special. One line I like to use is, \u201cThere are a couple of guys I\u2019m seeing, but nothing serious.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They also want to make sure you\u2019re safe from scammers and other bad people. My own daughter was appalled when she called once and I was on my way to a man\u2019s house for dinner. \u201cMom, you gotta drop a pin!\u201d I had no idea what that meant, but apparently it has something to do with apps and maps and other people being able to find you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of these worries are valid, however\u2014safety issues are especially important for women. I always make sure a friend or someone I trust knows where I am and I text them when I\u2019m home safely. And I never go to a man\u2019s house (or have him to mine) until I\u2019m as sure as I can be that he\u2019s a good guy.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This usually involves Googling, Facebooking, and checking him out on LinkedIn, meeting a few of his friends, and going on a couple of dates.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As far as other types of scammers, never <\/span>ever <\/span><\/i>give money to someone you met online. The latest scam is one where, instead of asking for a loan, the scammer \u201coffers\u201d to invest money for you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\u2019re weary of new love interests.
\n<\/b>Don\u2019t be surprised if your kids don\u2019t want to meet your new friend, or if they have a less than enthusiastic response when they do meet him or her. This doesn\u2019t always mean they don\u2019t approve; sometimes they worry about being replaced, or losing attention from you. (Yes, just like when they were little!)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you get a negative response, try to find out what your adult child is feeling. Sometimes, they just don\u2019t want to meet anyone until you\u2019re pretty darned sure they\u2019re the one. Other times, you may need to carve out special time for your family relationships, so they don\u2019t feel abandoned.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They still<\/b> don\u2019t want to think that their parent might be having sex.
\n<\/b>Kids have always gotten queasy at the idea of their parents having a sex life, which may be much more pronounced now that you\u2019re single and older and may be doing it with someone they don\u2019t know.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But be prepared for weird looks when you imply in any way that you spent the night with someone, are going away together, or that you might be feeling anything even vaguely resembling passion.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I got divorced, my daughter couldn\u2019t imagine romance, much less sex, at my age. She tried to convince me, with something like desperation in her eyes, that all I was looking for was companionship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Probably best not to take your kids\u2019 calls when you\u2019re in your new love\u2019s bed and downplay the romance a little when you\u2019re talking to your kids about your new relationship. They want you to be happy, but not <\/span>that <\/span><\/i>happy.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They give you the third degree.
\n<\/b>Who are you seeing?
\n<\/span><\/i>What\u2019s his\/her name?
\n<\/span><\/i>Where do they live?
\n<\/span><\/i>What do they do?
\n<\/span><\/i>Do they have kids?
\n<\/span><\/i>How long have you been seeing him\/her?
\n<\/span><\/i>Are you exclusive?<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sound at all like your parents when you were a teenager? If your kid(s) are like this, you have to create your own boundaries for how much and how soon you\u2019re ready to talk about your dating life.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And here\u2019s a secret: even though they may roll their eyes or give you the third degree, they\u2019re usually proud that you\u2019re out there and having fun. I may not be available to babysit my granddaughter as much as I used to be, but my daughter and son-in-law tell me they think I\u2019m a rock star role model for older people. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimately, your kids want you to be happy. It may be they just need a little time to get used to the idea of what it really means for their parent to be dating.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karen Haddigan is the author (in collaboration with Debi Helm) of the soon-to-be published book <\/span>Secrets of Dating After Fifty: An Insider\u2019s Guide to Finding Love Again<\/span><\/i>.<\/span> www.datingafterfifty.com<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Even though your kids may be grown-ups, they\u2019ll still react when you start behaving like a teenager again. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":165,"featured_media":17196,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[977,979],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-with-kids","category-over-50-dating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDating After 50: Your Adult Kids & Your Social Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Even though your kids may be grown-ups, they\u2019ll still react when you start behaving like a teenager again. Here\u2019s some of what you can expect.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dating After 50: Your Adult Kids & Your Social Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Even though your kids may be grown-ups, they\u2019ll still react when you start behaving like a teenager again. Here\u2019s some of what you can expect.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Secretsofdatingafterfifty\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-08-14T08:00:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-07-18T20:32:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/13134133\/dating-after-50-social-life-kids.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Karen Haddigan\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/datingafter_50\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Karen Haddigan\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dating After 50: Your Adult Kids & Your Social Life","description":"Even though your kids may be grown-ups, they\u2019ll still react when you start behaving like a teenager again. Here\u2019s some of what you can expect.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dating After 50: Your Adult Kids & Your Social Life","og_description":"Even though your kids may be grown-ups, they\u2019ll still react when you start behaving like a teenager again. Here\u2019s some of what you can expect.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Secretsofdatingafterfifty","article_published_time":"2018-08-14T08:00:37+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-07-18T20:32:18+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/13134133\/dating-after-50-social-life-kids.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Karen Haddigan","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/datingafter_50","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Karen Haddigan","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/"},"author":{"name":"Karen Haddigan","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/a341af24aed366344bd542487a204b7d"},"headline":"Dating After 50: Are Your Kids Annoyed with Your Social Life?","datePublished":"2018-08-14T08:00:37+00:00","dateModified":"2024-07-18T20:32:18+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/"},"wordCount":932,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/13134133\/dating-after-50-social-life-kids.jpg","articleSection":["Dating with Kids","Over 50 Dating"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/","name":"Dating After 50: Your Adult Kids & Your Social Life","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/13134133\/dating-after-50-social-life-kids.jpg","datePublished":"2018-08-14T08:00:37+00:00","dateModified":"2024-07-18T20:32:18+00:00","description":"Even though your kids may be grown-ups, they\u2019ll still react when you start behaving like a teenager again. Here\u2019s some of what you can expect.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/13134133\/dating-after-50-social-life-kids.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/13134133\/dating-after-50-social-life-kids.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A woman dating over 50 laughing with her adult child."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-50-social-life\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Over 50 Dating","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Dating After 50: Are Your Kids Annoyed with Your Social Life?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/a341af24aed366344bd542487a204b7d","name":"Karen Haddigan","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/avatar_user_165_1534190333-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/avatar_user_165_1534190333-96x96.jpg","caption":"Karen Haddigan"},"description":"Karen Haddigan is a renowned dating and relationships author. In collaboration with Debi Helm, she authored the book Secrets of Dating After Fifty: The Insider\u2019s Guide to Finding Love Again. She met her ex-husband online and, after her divorce, re-entered the world of online dating. She has a background in mediation, communication skills, and conflict resolution. Karen has been working with Zoosk to create insightful content for singles over 50 who are re-entering the online dating scene and looking to make new, meaningful connections.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.datingafterfifty.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Secretsofdatingafterfifty","https:\/\/x.com\/https:\/\/twitter.com\/datingafter_50"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/karen-haddigan\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/165"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17195\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}