{"id":17215,"date":"2018-08-16T01:00:08","date_gmt":"2018-08-16T08:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17215"},"modified":"2021-05-31T11:11:35","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T18:11:35","slug":"in-love-with-a-married-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/in-love-with-a-married-man\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do If You’re in Love with a Married Man"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Before I say anything more, let me start by saying I\u2019m not here to judge you\u2014your decisions are your own to make. Love isn\u2019t black and white, and often we end up falling for people who aren\u2019t available. If you do find yourself in the situation where you\u2019re in love with a married man, it\u2019s important to know what you\u2019re signing up for, and the truth about what lies ahead of you if this relationship continues.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All relationships are challenging at the best of times, but being the other woman can bring a whole new set of problems with it. Here\u2019s what you need to know:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He will not leave his wife.
\n<\/b>Did you know that less than five percent of men actually leave their wives for the woman they\u2019re having an affair with? Even if he tells you he\u2019s desperately unhappy, he doesn\u2019t love her, or he\u2019s going to leave\u2014chances are he won\u2019t. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This might be because of the financial implications related to divorce, his religious beliefs, his desire to maintain his family man image, or because he still actually cares for his wife\u2014even though he might protest against this. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it doesn\u2019t matter how many times he says he\u2019s going to leave\u2014you need to know that it\u2019s just words. Actions speak far louder. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he wanted to be with you, he would be.
\n<\/b>At the end of the day, people will go to the end of the earth for the things they truly want. If a man wanted to be with you, and share the rest of his life with you, he would do it. If he truly loved you, it wouldn\u2019t matter what the costs or implications were. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if he\u2019s content just sleeping with you on the side, while staying married to his wife, it\u2019s because you\u2019re not so important to him, that he\u2019s willing to change his life for you. If you decided to leave him, he would simply go on or replace you with someone else. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might not want to hear this, but put yourself in his shoes for a moment. Imagine you were married to a man you didn\u2019t really love anymore, and you weren\u2019t having sex with. Then you meet an amazing new man who you share a beautiful connection with. Would you stay with the man you\u2019re married to, or would you leave so you could be with the man you really wanted? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s as simple as that. A man who really wants you will want you all to himself. If he values you, he\u2019ll know that other men are also interested in you, and he\u2019ll make sure he makes you his as soon as he can, before someone else swoops in.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheaters are going to cheat.
\n<\/b>Did you know this man was married when you started seeing him? Was he honest with you, or did he lie, and you found out the truth later on? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he lied to you, how can you ever trust him? And more importantly, if he\u2019s currently cheating on his wife with you\u2014what makes you think he won\u2019t do that again to you? If he cheats with you, he will likely cheat on you. So does it even matter if he leaves his wife for you? Can you ever trust him?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he\u2019s not being faithful, you don\u2019t need to be.<\/b>
\n<\/b>Many women who are having affairs with married men make the mistake of being faithful to them, while he men are enjoying having their cake and eating it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he\u2019s keeping you on the side for months or years, then take that as your cue to enjoy dating other men at the same time. This isn\u2019t cheating, because he\u2019s married, so you can do as you please. This will also help you stop becoming too attached to this one man, who might never be fully available to you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Set a definitive time limit for your affair.<\/b>
\n<\/b>How long are you prepared to be the other woman for? Get clear on a time frame for when you expect him to leave his current wife and be with you\u2014and bring this up with him early on in your relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he\u2019s not giving you a clear time frame, or he does but then doesn\u2019t deliver on it\u2014it\u2019s because he has no intention of truly leaving his wife, and is just stringing you along for as long as he can. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pay attention to how he talks about his wife.<\/b>
\n<\/b>Is he respectful when speaking about her, and honest about why he no longer wants to be with her? If so, then it\u2019s a sign he respects women, and is probably being honest with you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if he places all the blame on her, and speaks disrespectfully about her, it might be a sign that he doesn\u2019t value women, and he\u2019s also unable to be honest with himself. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine if you were in his wife\u2019s shoes someday\u2014would you like to be spoken about in that way? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men cheat for sex.
\n<\/b>When women cheat, it can be because we\u2019re craving an emotional connection; but when men cheat, it\u2019s often purely for sex. So even though you feel a strong connection to this man, it doesn\u2019t mean that feeling is reciprocated on his part. He might just be using you for his own sexual pleasure. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And no matter how many times he tells you he\u2019s no longer having sex with his wife\u2014do not believe him for a moment. He is still sleeping with his wife, and he is lying to you about it.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have a life outside of him.<\/b>
\n<\/b>It\u2019s vital you maintain a solid group of friends outside of this relationship. Don\u2019t drop plans to be with him when he calls, and keep on dating to keep your self-esteem and confidence up.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The future of this relationship is rocky and uncertain, so having a great life outside of this is going to be really healthy and soothing for you during the highs and the lows. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you happy?
\n<\/b>If you\u2019re in the middle of an affair right now, it\u2019s important to check in with yourself. Are you happy? Is this what you want from your life? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you figure out the kind of life you do want, you\u2019ll be able to figure out the kind of man you want. You can then see if the man you\u2019re currently with measures up when it comes to his morals and character. If he does, great. If he doesn\u2019t\u2014you know what to do.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All relationships are challenging at the best of times, but being the other woman can bring a whole new set of problems.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":17216,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[886,891,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-women","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat to Do If You\u2019re in Love with a Married Man<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"All relationships are challenging at the best of times, but being the other woman can bring a whole new set of problems with it. 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