{"id":17219,"date":"2018-08-18T01:00:03","date_gmt":"2018-08-18T08:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17219"},"modified":"2021-10-29T03:21:22","modified_gmt":"2021-10-29T10:21:22","slug":"i-need-a-girlfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"I Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

‘I need a girlfriend -but I don’t know where to start trying to find one.’ Does this sound like you? If you\u2019re looking for a girlfriend and haven\u2019t found her yet, let me <\/span>first tell you that there\u2019s nothing wrong with you, and you don\u2019t need to fundamentally change who you are. You\u2019ve probably gone on a few dates, come close to getting a girlfriend, but things have fallen apart at the last hurdle.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe this has happened a few times now, and it\u2019s damaged your confidence<\/a> a little, and you just can\u2019t work out what you\u2019re doing wrong. If you want to stop getting friend-zoned, and you\u2019re tired of watching all your female friends date jerks while a good guy like you remains single\u2014this article is for you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thinking ‘I need a girlfriend’? <\/strong>Here\u2019s what you\u2019re doing wrong<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You assume girls don\u2019t like you
<\/b>Do you often talk yourself out of approaching women<\/a>? Do you find yourself thinking, \u201cshe won\u2019t be interested,\u201d or \u201cshe\u2019s out of my league,\u201d or \u201cshe probably has a boyfriend\u201d?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you know that\u2019s true if you haven\u2019t even spoken to her? And what\u2019s the worst that can happen if you do approach her? She politely rejects you, and the world doesn\u2019t end even though you\u2019re convinced it will, and you just got a little more practice talking to women. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are so many women who actually have crushes on guys who are too shy to ever make their feelings known. So they end up moving on because they assume they\u2019re not interested, while you\u2019re thinking the exact same thing about her. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll never know if you don\u2019t ask. Even if you\u2019re in a bar, and she\u2019s with a guy already\u2014he might be her gay best friend, or a colleague from work. So do yourself a favor, and stop counting yourself out before you\u2019ve even given yourself a fair chance. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You lack confidence because of your inexperience.
<\/b>It\u2019s true that women love confidence in a man. But how are you supposed to feel confident when you\u2019ve never had a proper relationship, or if it\u2019s been a long time? <\/span>And let’s face it, if you’re saying ‘I need a girlfriend’, it may have been a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might worry what she\u2019s going to say if you explain your lack of past relationships, but here\u2019s the thing\u2014it\u2019s totally not a big deal. So many men and women are inexperienced when it comes to relationships. You may think you\u2019re the only one, but trust me, you\u2019re not. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And there are so many other ways you can feel confident about yourself and around women, even if you don\u2019t have much experience with them. For example, you can gain confidence from your career, your dedication to working out every day, the fact that you eat healthily, or that you take pride in the way you look. Start focusing on these things, and watch your confidence shoot up.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What have you actually done to try to meet the girl of your dreams?
\n<\/b>Newsflash: you are not going to find a girlfriend by sitting at home. Girlfriends don\u2019t fall from the sky\u2014it\u2019s up to you to get on out there and start meeting people. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what are you doing to help yourself? Are you on dating apps and websites? Have you spent time on your profile? Do you go out and socialize often, and meet new people? Have you joined a gym or sports club? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t matter where you live or work, if you\u2019re afraid of approaching women, if you dislike bars and clubs, or if you have a demanding career. None of these things are an excuse for not meeting new people, because technology has made it so easy for us. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more women you meet, the more comfortable you\u2019ll become around women, and the more you\u2019ll know the kind of qualities that are important to you when it comes to having a girlfriend. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about settling for the first woman who shows an interest in you\u2014it\u2019s about taking charge and figuring out what YOU want, and going out there and getting it. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re hanging out with the wrong guys.
\n<\/b>If your guy friends are overly loud and broish, or if they make fun of you for not getting any action\u2014especially in front of other women\u2014then you need to find new friends. Real friends wouldn\u2019t make you feel small for your lack of experience. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also important to think about who you are in your group of friends. Are you the leader, or the tag along, or the one who\u2019s always in the background? Because women are naturally drawn to leaders. If you\u2019re not the leader of your current circle of friends\u2014find a new one where you\u2019re one of the key decision makers. One where people look up to you instead of put you down.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You keep getting friend-zoned.<\/b>
\n<\/b>There\u2019s a fine line when it comes to getting sexual with women. Go for it too soon, and she\u2019ll think you just want some action and don\u2019t care about her. But fail to go for it, and she might lose interest and you\u2019ll wind up as just her friend when you were interested in something more. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the truth\u2014it\u2019s better to tell her how you feel and have her tell you she\u2019s not interested, than to not go for it at all. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t make any effort with your appearance.<\/b>
\n<\/b>Women use fashion as a tool to make themselves feel good, but to also attract the opposite sex. Men, you need to take a leaf out of our book. Take a little more care in your appearance. Get a haircut. Invest in some nice clothes. Look your best\u2014because when you do, you\u2019ll feel your best. And women will notice the difference. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Appearance isn\u2019t everything but putting effort into how you look shows that you care enough about a woman to want to look nice for her. You don\u2019t have to be the most fashionable guy around, but being clean and well-groomed will go a long way to showing women you know how to take care of yourself and are comfortable looking your best. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re too available.<\/b>
\n<\/b>Women will respect you more if you have something in your life that you care about other than them. If your main purpose in life is to get a girlfriend and so you\u2019re always letting the women around you know that, they\u2019ll get bored pretty quickly, because we have nothing to work for. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make sure you keep a part of yourself for you and what you want in your life. Don\u2019t drop everything anytime she calls, or be waiting for her messages instead of focusing on your own life. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say too much too soon.<\/b>
\n<\/b>In the early stage of a relationship, women don\u2019t want to feel like the man is more emotionally invested than she is. So doing things like sending way too many texts, going overboard with compliments, posting photos of the two of your on social media, or rushing to make things official can make her nervous.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She doesn\u2019t want to feel like you\u2019re doing all the chasing, because it can be overwhelming. So keep those emotions in check, even if you do feel yourself falling for her. And of course, once you\u2019ve been officially together for a while, it\u2019s great to be more emotional and send texts like \u201cI miss you\u201d\u2014but not in the early stages of dating. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re waiting for the \u201cperfect\u201d woman. <\/b>
\n<\/b>Keep waiting, because she\u2019s not coming buddy. She doesn\u2019t exist. There\u2019s a fine line between having high standards, and having impossible ones that no one can ever reach. Make sure you\u2019re being realistic about what you want, and be open-minded about the women you\u2019re with. It may be the perfect person for you is someone you wouldn\u2019t expect. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Always remember\u2014dating is supposed to be fun, so enjoy yourself! Follow these tips and you won\u2019t go wrong<\/span>\u2014and with a bit of luck, you’ll never have to say ‘I need a girlfriend’ again!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019re looking for a girlfriend and haven\u2019t found her yet, you don\u2019t need to change who you are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":17220,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[885],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-men"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Thinking 'I need a girlfriend?' If you haven\u2019t found her yet, you don\u2019t need to change who you are, but you should evaluate what you\u2019re doing.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Thinking 'I need a girlfriend?' If you haven\u2019t found her yet, you don\u2019t need to change who you are, but you should evaluate what you\u2019re doing.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-08-18T08:00:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-29T10:21:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/15155417\/i-need-a-girlfriend.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Shani Jay\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shani Jay\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong","description":"Thinking 'I need a girlfriend?' If you haven\u2019t found her yet, you don\u2019t need to change who you are, but you should evaluate what you\u2019re doing.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong","og_description":"Thinking 'I need a girlfriend?' If you haven\u2019t found her yet, you don\u2019t need to change who you are, but you should evaluate what you\u2019re doing.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2018-08-18T08:00:03+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-10-29T10:21:22+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/15155417\/i-need-a-girlfriend.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Shani Jay","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Shani Jay","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/"},"author":{"name":"Shani Jay","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/84f8c32d40fc01dd6a77082438f0cb28"},"headline":"I Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong","datePublished":"2018-08-18T08:00:03+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-29T10:21:22+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/"},"wordCount":1439,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/15155417\/i-need-a-girlfriend.jpg","articleSection":["Dating Advice For Men"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/","name":"I Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/15155417\/i-need-a-girlfriend.jpg","datePublished":"2018-08-18T08:00:03+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-29T10:21:22+00:00","description":"Thinking 'I need a girlfriend?' If you haven\u2019t found her yet, you don\u2019t need to change who you are, but you should evaluate what you\u2019re doing.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/15155417\/i-need-a-girlfriend.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2018\/08\/15155417\/i-need-a-girlfriend.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A man who said to himself, I need a girlfriend, smiling with his new girlfriend while they take a selfie at the park."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/i-need-a-girlfriend\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dating Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Dating Tips for Men","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"I Need a Girlfriend: 8 Things You Could Be Doing Wrong"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/84f8c32d40fc01dd6a77082438f0cb28","name":"Shani Jay","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_141_1523037893-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_141_1523037893-96x96.jpg","caption":"Shani Jay"},"description":"Shani Jay is the Creatrix & Goddess In Chief of Revoloon. Ask her what she does for a living, and she\u2019ll tell you she holds a mirror to your soul, so you can see how beautiful you already are. Shani is a bestselling author and internationally published writer. Her articles have reached and touched millions, while her books have made their way into the hands and hearts of thousands of women worldwide. You can also find some of her work at SilverSingles and EliteSingles. Shani has been working with Zoosk, sharing her knowledge and creating engaging content for online daters looking to make real connections with like-minded singles.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.shanijay.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/shani-jay\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/141"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17219"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17219\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17220"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}