{"id":17281,"date":"2018-08-25T01:00:56","date_gmt":"2018-08-25T08:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17281"},"modified":"2021-05-31T11:09:31","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T18:09:31","slug":"selfless-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/selfless-love\/","title":{"rendered":"What Selfless Love Really Looks Like"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

To be selfless means to put the needs and desires of your partner ahead of yours. It\u2019s about making compromises and tough decisions with the one you love, and allowing your love for them to take priority, ahead of what you might want in the moment. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, that doesn\u2019t mean forgetting your own needs, and always giving the other person what they want, out of fear you might lose them. It\u2019s important to show yourself love, before you can really love someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a fine line between being selfless and selfish in a relationship\u2014but here\u2019s what it looks like. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting that no one is perfect.
\n<\/b>To love someone selflessly, means to not only love their best qualities, but also their flaws and imperfections. We all have them, and it\u2019s about accepting them without judgement. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There will be ups and downs in any relationship, and it\u2019s about navigating those together and communicating the whole time. Judging is the worst thing you can do, even if the person you\u2019re with might be hurting themselves or treating you poorly. Under no circumstances should you allow behavior like that to slide, but it\u2019s about recognizing that we all have our shortcomings, and helping your partner shift those behaviors without bringing judgement into it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Letting people go when it\u2019s best for them .
\n<\/b>You might have been in a relationship where you still loved the other person, but you knew that staying together wasn\u2019t the right thing for them at that time. And even though you loved them and still wanted them in your life, you let them go.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Loving selflessly means you have enough love and respect for your partner that you aren\u2019t afraid to do what\u2019s best for them, even if it\u2019s going to be painful for you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re willing to compromise and sacrifice.
\n<\/b>When you get into a relationship with someone, you can\u2019t be totally selfish anymore, because you\u2019re a team now. You each have your individual goals and needs, but you also have joint ones now, too. Sometimes, you\u2019ll need to sacrifice what you want to allow your partner have what they want, and vice versa. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That doesn\u2019t mean you always have to give up what you want, but it\u2019s important that you\u2019re okay with compromising so that you\u2019re both getting what you need in the relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not keeping score.<\/b>
\n<\/b>People who love selflessly don\u2019t keep score of what they give to their partner. They don\u2019t worry they\u2019re giving more, or the outcome of what they\u2019re giving\u2014they simply enjoy the act of showing their partner as much love as they possibly can. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They rest safe in the knowledge that love will flow back to them in the right amount.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To love selflessly means you\u2019re willing to give as much as you get from your partner, and as much as you would expect them to give, without making them feel indebted to you in any way\u2014there\u2019s no room for keeping score here.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes you might be called to give more than you thought you would, but it\u2019s about stepping up in those times of need, and not expecting anything in return.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It creates space for growth.
\n<\/b>Selfless love is the kind of love that allows both people in the relationship to grow\u2014because it doesn\u2019t tie anyone down. And as they say, if you\u2019re not growing, you\u2019re only dying.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more love each person gives, the more they open and expand, and the more room they then have to accept love and give even more, and this expansion is never ending. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt. <\/b>
\n<\/b>Loving selflessly is about trusting your partner and standing by their side, even when no one else is standing with them. Sometimes, this is easier said than done. For example, if they\u2019ve let you down before, and you have reason to doubt them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But selfless love means you always choose to believe them and give them the benefit of the doubt, allowing them to rise up and meet your high standards, instead of expecting them to fall short, and then watching as they do. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Working as a team.<\/b>
\n<\/b>There really is no \u201cI\u201d in team, and when you enter into a relationship with someone, that\u2019s exactly what you are\u2014a team. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Loving selflessly means working as a team, instead of constantly prioritizing your own goals and needs, or trying to get your own way. Couples that work together are the only ones that stay together. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying in sickness and health, and meaning it. <\/b>
\n<\/b>You can\u2019t predict what\u2019s going to happen in the future, and sometimes things don\u2019t go as you hoped they would. People get sick, accidents and tragedies happen, and one of you might be forced to take care of the other or step up and take on a much greater role than before. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Selfless love means you\u2019ll be there when your person needs you, no matter what, because you promised you would be, regardless of how hard things get, and you\u2019re willing to do whatever it takes to help your relationship continue to thrive. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s abundant.
\n<\/b>People who love selflessly know that it will never run out, so it doesn\u2019t need to be protected or hoarded away. They know that love is infinite, and there\u2019s an abundance of it in this world. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And most importantly, they understand that the way to get more, is to <\/span>give<\/span><\/i> more.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s a fine line between being selfless and selfish in a relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":17282,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[987,891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Selfless Love Really Looks Like<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There\u2019s a fine line between being selfless and selfish in a relationship\u2014but here\u2019s what selfless love really looks like.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/selfless-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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