{"id":17493,"date":"2018-09-30T14:00:50","date_gmt":"2018-09-30T21:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17493"},"modified":"2021-05-31T10:57:59","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T17:57:59","slug":"harmless-crush-emotional-infidelity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/harmless-crush-emotional-infidelity\/","title":{"rendered":"Harmless Crush or Emotional Infidelity? Well, It Depends"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When you\u2019re in a committed relationship for a long enough period of time you inevitably may have to, um, how should I put this, talk to people who aren\u2019t your significant other. Seems easy enough. Hopefully, we\u2019ve all done it before. But wait… what\u2019s that warm fuzzy feeling? Is that a pang of desire\u2014a budding infidelity? No, it\u2019s just harmless attraction. Well, probably. Whatever it is, it\u2019s important to understand the difference between flirting or having a crush and the deeper more serious problem of emotional infidelity, which could hurt your partner and your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So first things first: what does it mean to have a crush when you\u2019re in a committed relationship? Well, the jury is still out on this one. Psychologist Ryan Howes answered in a <\/span>Huffington Post article<\/span><\/a> that crushes are normal in a relationship. Just because you\u2019re in a committed relationship doesn\u2019t mean that you stop meeting attractive people. Some of them you\u2019ll even develop a connection with. According to Howes, it\u2019s how you handle the crush that really matters. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alternatively, <\/span>other experts<\/span><\/a> say that while having a crush in a relationship is permissible and common, it may signal underlying deficiencies in your relationship. So, if you can\u2019t get enough of flirting around, it might be time for some introspection and to think about what your love life is missing. Despite the differing opinions on what having a crush means in a relationship, most experts tend to agree on one thing: if you have a crush, how you react to it is what carries the power of the crush. In other words, if you spend too much time and energy dwelling on (or with) the crush, then it becomes an act of emotional infidelity.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what exactly is emotional infidelity? <\/span>Psychology Today<\/span><\/a> defines emotional infidelity as \u201cany situation that creates or causes some degree of unavailability on the part of one partner that interferes with one particular aspect of the relationship, along with the quality of the relationship as a whole.\u201d That\u2019s a mouthful of course. I think it really boils down to this: devoting time or emotional energy to another person in such a way that it detracts from the richness of your committed relationship. These can be things like texting your crush constantly, spending time with them over your partner, or fantasizing about them in sexual scenarios on a regular basis. Keep in mind, that your crush doesn\u2019t need to participate in order for it to be an emotional infidelity. If you\u2019re overly invested in the idea of your crush that\u2019s grounds enough for emotional. Of course, where the line is drawn between a fleeting fantasy and emotional infidelity is a murky one. It\u2019s really defined by what you as the participant think should be considered. You probably already have a pretty good idea of what\u2019s okay and what\u2019s not.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how can you avoid emotional infidelity? This may sound preachy, but the best thing to do is just consider your partner. Do right by them. Don\u2019t make excuses to hang out with and contact your crush. It\u2019s okay to chat with your crush if it\u2019s an unplanned situation like work or a party, but don\u2019t go seeking that connection. Also, draw the line with your crush if you feel things heating up. You might even mention that you want to cut off contact. Lastly, (this depends on the relationship) if you feel it\u2019s right, then tell your partner. Disclosure can be tricky, because it can reaffirm your commitment with your partner or it could hurt them. Do what you feel would be best for them. After all, you love them right?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If emotional infidelity seems a little unclear… that\u2019s because it is. Love isn\u2019t clean and doesn\u2019t always fit into neat easily confined boxes. The best advice is to do right by your partner. Make them feel like you prioritize their wants and emotional needs.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What does it mean to have a crush when you\u2019re in a committed relationship? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":17494,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[891,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHarmless Crush or Emotional Infidelity? 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