{"id":17542,"date":"2018-10-06T01:00:31","date_gmt":"2018-10-06T08:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17542"},"modified":"2021-05-31T10:56:41","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T17:56:41","slug":"honeymoon-phase","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/honeymoon-phase\/","title":{"rendered":"The Honeymoon Phase is Over… Now What?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The beginning of the relationship is the easy part. An endless stream of dates, late night talks, good sex\u2014who can complain? But after you get comfortable, a switch flips. It starts with a few hiccups, nothing too big, but soon steam. you start to notice things you didn\u2019t before. Maybe he talks too loud on the phone, or she doesn\u2019t pitch in to clean the kitchen. Then you start to have a few fights or worse, you\u2019re not talking as much or making plans. All of the sudden, the love you felt feels different. It\u2019s changed somehow but you\u2019re not sure what it is. Well,that\u2019s the end of the honeymoon phase. And, yes, it happens to every relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what does it mean to be in the honeymoon phase, what happens when it\u2019s over, and what comes after?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the honeymoon phase is:
\n<\/b>The honeymoon phase is the bubbly \u201ceverything is good\u201d phase that happens at the beginning of a relationship. In this phase, you and your partner are just getting to know each other. No matter how much time you spend together you can\u2019t get enough of each other. Also during this phase, your partner seems perfect in every way. Shortcomings or incompatibilities are simply not possible. Even the annoying things they do are sort of cute and endearing. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And there\u2019s many <\/span>physiological reasons<\/span><\/a> for this. You\u2019re likely to experience heart palpitations and stomach butterflies. You\u2019ll also experience an increase in cortisol, a hormone that buffers stress, and you\u2019re brain is pumped full of dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure and reward. If you can\u2019t help missing your partner since seeing them four hours ago, know it\u2019s not just you. Everyone feels this way.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, it  does sound a bit like temporary insanity, because, well, it is. But that\u2019s just how it goes. The honeymoon phase usually lasts 6 to 12 months, but it differs from person to person. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What it mean when it\u2019s over:
\n<\/b>Honeymoon phases are supposed to be like the honeymoons they\u2019re named after: light, worry free, and full of smoldering passion. Also like honeymoons, when the honeymoon phase ends is when the hard part (i.e. real life) begins.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s at this phase that you\u2019ll notice maybe not all is well in paradise. Your partner actually has shortcomings. Their annoying habits begin to annoy you. Maybe you have sex less frequently. This part of the relationship can be beautiful, but if your connection isn\u2019t as strong as you thought or if there are real disagreements that were always brewing under the surface of all that honeymoon passion, now is when it starts to matter.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes this part of the relationship is called the disillusionment or make-or-break phase. It\u2019s because at this phase, you either realize your partner isn\u2019t someone you\u2019re in love with for the long haul, or where you form a deeper connection and learn to view them as a dynamic, complicated person who may not be perfect but is someone you care deeply about. You may feel a little less infatuated, but closer in a way you didn\u2019t expect. Then again, you may be surprised to find that your love has diminished and you no longer see your partner in the way you once did.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does the end of the honeymoon phase spell the end for your relationship? Well, that\u2019s up to you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What happens now:
\n<\/b>Some people think the honeymoon phase feeling is love, and when it\u2019s over the love is lost. The truth is that feeling doesn\u2019t last forever for any combination of people. Famous marriage counselor Diane Sollee said, \u201cTo get divorced because love has died, is like selling your car because it\u2019s run out of gas.\u201d The honeymoon phase happens to everyone, so does disillusionment. It\u2019s up to you to decide if you want to put in the hard work when the honeymoon phase is over to keep growing the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This part of the relationship requires cooperation from both parties. It takes you accepting your partner as they are, not the idealized version you perceived when you were high on dopamine. In some cases, you\u2019ll realize that the person you\u2019re with is really not who you are meant to be with, that they\u2019ve exhibit your dealbreakers, and that\u2019s fine. In other cases, you may decide that your partner is worth the work, and it\u2019s time to get down to business. The passionate in love feeling doesn\u2019t last forever, and at some point in every relationship you\u2019ll have to confront this. If you choose to move forward, you can create something beautiful built on commitment and genuine respect for your partner. If you don\u2019t, that\u2019s okay too. You may find someone better suited to your tastes down the road. Just remember this moment will find you in every relationship. That\u2019s just the way things are.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you\u2019re honeymoon phase is over, break it off if you think your partner really isn\u2019t the one. But give it a good think first. Love isn\u2019t easy and it doesn\u2019t always look of feel the way you think it does. It\u2019s all about braving the bad as well as enjoying the good. To make your decision think: are you looking for an easy time or are you looking for something deeper?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When the honeymoon phase ends is when the hard part (i.e. real life) begins.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":17543,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[891,893],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-stages"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Honeymoon Phase is Over... 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