{"id":17546,"date":"2018-10-10T14:00:39","date_gmt":"2018-10-10T21:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17546"},"modified":"2022-06-29T07:55:56","modified_gmt":"2022-06-29T14:55:56","slug":"40-and-single-dating-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/40-and-single-dating-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"7 No-Bullshit Dating Tips for the 40 and Single Crowd"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Let\u2019s be blunt: dating in your 40s<\/a> isn\u2019t the same as dating in your 20s. But not for the reasons you might think. It\u2019s not because you\u2019re older, pickier, or that the dating pool has shrunk. The dating pool is the same; and as for your age, well, you\u2019re just a bit older and way more impatient. Nobody blames you for that. At 40, the trick to having a bullshit-free dating experiences is simple: change your mindset, attitude, and approach. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read these straight-up tips about dating when you’re 40 and single to approach things the right way: <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Stop caring so much.
\n<\/b>Easier said than done, obviously. But there\u2019s truth to this whole not-caring thing. Good things come to those who have even better things to care about. Now you might be thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s more important than finding love?\u201d That\u2019s where your thinking is wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your biggest care in life is finding love, that means your biggest priority isn\u2019t YOU. People who have active, satisfying lives are the most inspiring and attractive people. But if you\u2019re always in self-pity mode, sulking around and hating your singleness, you\u2019re not going to attract positive people.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People you\u2019ve just met don\u2019t like feeling responsible to renew your faith in dating. You\u2019re not an empty vessel who needs to be rescued; so take care of yourself first! When you\u2019re 40 and single, focus on being fabulously 40 and single. This mindset will empower you to date with more confidence. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Create and attract positive energy.
\n<\/b>Positive people attract each other\u2014and yes, The Law of Attraction is real. Newsflash to any skeptics or anti-spiritualists out there, the Law of Attraction really is a LAW\u2014like actually, it\u2019s quantum physics! <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But let\u2019s not bore you with the nerdy details and keep it simple: Brain imaging studies prove that when we feel someone\u2019s amazing energy, our brain mirrors those feelings, \u201cas though you are actually doing these things,” says Award-winning Neuroscientist, Srinivasan Pillay in <\/span>Huffington Post<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No wonder we\u2019re naturally drawn to positive people. We all want to feel that positive energy, especially from others. So ditch any sourness or pessimism you may have about dating at 40. It\u2019ll only turn people away. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Avoid one night stands.
\n<\/b>Sure, one night stands can be hot. But are they hot enough to sacrifice a meaningful relationship? Some singles believe that they can have it all: relish the thrills of one-nighters and still keep their hopes open for something deeper. There\u2019s only one problem with this logic… <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, we\u2019ll revisit The Law of Attraction. You get what you put out. So if you\u2019re indulging in meaningless sex, you shut down your relationship-attracting energy. You\u2019re not genuinely practicing the lifestyle of someone who values love, making you more unlikely to find it. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Believe actions, not words.
\n<\/b>Age-old and foolproof, the rule of seeking actions over words never gets stale. Just because you\u2019re 40, the singles don\u2019t magically get designated with a maturity badge or a diploma in honesty.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So stay sharp when you date and don\u2019t take people\u2019s words so seriously. They might claim to want a serious, meaningful relationship, but how do you know? They might even dazzle you with tales of their noble integrity or sob stories about how their ex hurt them. Maybe they seem super sincere when they say they’re looking for the one. Take it with a grain of salt, and wait and see if their actions match up to their words.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Don\u2019t air your dirty dating laundry.
\n<\/b>Everyone has dating problems. Don\u2019t advertise yours. When you\u2019re dating, set the negativity aside and put your best self forward.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how bad the baggage may be, don\u2019t talk about it. Or imagine how you\u2019d feel, listening to someone air their dirty laundry. Do you want to hear about how their dad\u2019s in jail or that their landlord is a psycho? These stories don\u2019t make your life seem more interesting; they make you seem unstable. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even minor stuff, like why you hate your ex, should be off limits. These stories suck the energy out of the date. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Avoid Mr. or Miss player on dating apps.
\n<\/b>Sifting through the nonsense is easy. You just need to turn up your jerk radar and make better choices. Tons of people, both men and women, complain about using dating apps at 40. But usually, it\u2019s not the apps\u2014 it\u2019s your judgement that needs a little work. You\u2019re just not seeing the signs. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The clearest signs that someone may be a player are revealed in the first five minutes of chatting. Here\u2019s a big one: if they say they\u2019re only casually looking to date, believe them. You won\u2019t magically change their mind. Here\u2019s another sign: if they\u2019re overly flirty or worse, ask for sexy pics. Just delete these people. Unless they\u2019re  asking you thoughtful questions about your career, values and interests, forget them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop cutting people so much slack. Don\u2019t ever think that you need to dole out more chances because you might regret losing out on potential. There\u2019s no potential with these clowns and you\u2019re not desperate enough to flush away your time finding out. Instead, look at the truth right in front of you. It\u2019ll bring you closer to finding what you desire. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Make your dating goals clear.
\n<\/b>Always make sure the person you\u2019re dating knows your dating goals. There\u2019s a myth that it\u2019s more attractive to act cool and pretend you\u2019re not looking for anything serious. Apparently, admitting to wanting something more could be a turnoff. What the heck? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s like walking into a clinic and not telling your doctor what you\u2019re feeling because you’re worried he\u2019ll feel too much pressure to cure you. It\u2019s the same twisted logic. If someone is truly interested in something special, they won\u2019t get turned off from knowing you want the same. Anyone who does has commitment issues. You don\u2019t need to these dysfunctional narcissists in your life. Let their therapist deal with them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating at 40 isn\u2019t that different from dating at any other age. The only difference is that you\u2019ve got more experience, better taste and hopefully, a lower tolerance for bullshit. You already know what you deserve. Act on it.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You already know what you deserve. Act on it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":209,"featured_media":17547,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[975],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-in-your-40s"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n7 No-Bullshit Dating Tips for the 40 and Single Crowd<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Read these straight-up tips about dating when you're 40 and single to approach things the right way and find someone who deserves you\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-in-your-40s\/40-and-single-dating-tips\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" 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