If you\u2019ve been single for a while, you know that it can be a life-affirming experience. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want\u2014things like drive cross country or pull a starfish right in the middle of the bed. However, as much as you enjoy feeling confident, free, and independent on your own, sometimes you can\u2019t help but crave a connection with a special someone to share life with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So that’s when you say, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m ready to give dating another whirl,\u201d and join a few dating apps and start going out more. Then it’s weeks, even months later, and you\u2019re still not meeting anyone you\u2019re really clicking with. And if one date does manage to squeak by, your compatibility isn\u2019t enough to keep the connection going. It seems like no matter what you do, things fall flat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now’s when you begin to think you should go on a permanent trip because the closest relationship you\u2019ll ever have is the one with the person who delivers your takeout every Friday night. It\u2019s official: you\u2019re going to be single forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you ever feel like this? If so, here are some helpful things to keep in mind when you feel like you’ll be single forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s Okay to Feel Lonely While that might be true, feeling lonely is not only normal, but it can also be a good thing. It\u2019s our heart\u2019s way of telling us that we crave connection. Humans are built for relationships, after all. While loneliness seems to rear its ugly head the most when we\u2019re single, keep in mind that it\u2019s often the thing that forces us to go out and seek companionship. So if you desire a relationship, lean into the loneliness. It\u2019ll help you get clear about what you want and how to go about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Take Action It Takes Work You need to ask yourself some deep, soul-searching, even painful, questions. Like, why are you repelling and rejecting available people? What types of people do you find yourself attracted to and why? Are you skipping over people who are commitment material for a casual fling? Do you actually take the time to get to know someone or do you have a record of ghosting someone after the first date? What are your emotional blind spots? For example, do you have a fear of trust and intimacy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Getting to the root of these questions, whether through introspection or therapy, will help you gain the clarity you need to move your love life ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love Takes Time Love grows. Getting to know someone takes patience. Building trust and intimacy takes time and commitment. Most people confuse lust for love, letting feelings and emotions get the best of them before they are truly ready to commit to another\u2014and before they\u2019re even sure just what love means to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love takes reflection. Love means sharing experiences with another\u2014and not just sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love takes courage. Love means setting boundaries and thoughtfully reaching milestones. Rushing into love usually ends up in disappointment and heartbreak. Sp take your time when it comes to finding true love. Your heart deserves it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have Fun While sometimes it feels like you\u2019ll be single forever, especially if you\u2019ve been single for a long time, it\u2019s important to know that everyone\u2019s timeline is different. Acknowledge your desire for a partner and do the inner work, and in the meantime, have fun, and enjoy falling in love with yourself. Before you know it, you\u2019ll be attracting new people, including that special someone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Everyone\u2019s timeline is different, but it’s hard to remember when you’re feeling lonely. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":17624,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[899],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-single-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n<\/strong>Just because you enjoy being a lone wolf doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re not lonely sometimes. Loneliness is often mischaracterized as neediness, and if you\u2019re someone who\u2019s been single for a long time, you might have an embedded knee-jerk reaction to the word, \u201cneediness.\u201d After all, you\u2019ve built a successful and thriving life on your own. You don\u2019t \u201cneed\u201d anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>I hate to break it to you but if you want a life partner, they\u2019re not just going to show up at your door (unless, maybe, your true love is the person who delivers your takeout after all). In order to find love, you must take some sort of action. Maybe it\u2019s setting up an online dating profile, or joining various sports or activities, or even signing up for a new gym. In order to attract new prospects, you must put yourself in new situations. While doing these things doesn\u2019t guarantee you\u2019ll meet a match, it does increase your chances more than staying at home with your cat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Most people don\u2019t want to hear that finding love takes work because it zaps the romance out of it. While it\u2019s true that when you meet your right partner, the courting and dating phase should be relatively easy and organic, the truth is, when it comes to attracting that right partner in the first place, you have to do some initial inner work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Mariah Carey said it best, \u201cLove takes time.\u201d Sometimes. Sometimes it\u2019s instant and you just know. But most times, it isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>Remember: being single isn\u2019t a death sentence. Have fun flying solo. Book an impromptu trip. Starfish in that bed. Revel in the fact that you don\u2019t have to compromise with or answer to anyone. Enjoy meeting and flirting with new people. Don\u2019t get caught up with how you wish your life should be, and become more present with what it is now and how you can make the most of it. Cultivate new hobbies and friendships, and keep living your best life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n