{"id":17641,"date":"2018-10-27T01:00:49","date_gmt":"2018-10-27T08:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17641"},"modified":"2021-05-31T10:49:02","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T17:49:02","slug":"boyfriend-girlfriend-acting-weird","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/boyfriend-girlfriend-acting-weird\/","title":{"rendered":"13 Reasons Why Your Partner Is Acting Weird or Distant"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Many of us have been there before… Our partner is acting distant, something about them is off, and they’re not as engaged as they used to be. (Maybe they’re even a little bit cold.) And all their recent behaviors have you confused and asking yourself, What’s going on?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then when you ask them, they say they\u2019re fine, or they\u2019re tired, or that work is stressing them out. But is that really it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not knowing why your partner is acting weird can be hurtful, especially if they’re not acknowledging that they’re acting differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’re at a loss but trying to figure out what’s going on, here are 13 possible explanations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Their feelings are hurt.
\n<\/strong>You may not realize it, but there may have been something you said or did that hurt your partner\u2019s feelings. It could be something as small as making an innocent joke they took a different way, or something you said that triggered an old hurt. According to Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today,” many people don’t know how to talk about feeling hurt, so instead they grow distant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe best thing you can do is report on what you notice,” she explains. “Say something like, ‘I notice you\u2019re not talking this morning,’ and then ask what\u2019s wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. They’re scared.
\n<\/strong>\u201cMen especially can get spooked when things become serious, causing them to pull back,\u201d says Emily Lyons, a matchmaker and dating coach. If the person you’re with is withdrawing, it may be because things are moving too fast for them and they’re not ready. The feelings they have may be too intense, or the feelings they sense from you may be too much. Either way, they’re feeling scared and aren’t sure how to react.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. They’re cheating.
\n<\/strong>Let’s just address the elephant in the room. If someone is acting weird, they could be hiding something, and that could include cheating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf they’re hiding their phones, locking computers, or disappearing it’s time to find out what’s going on,” says Lyons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. They have a work issue that\u2019s troubling them.
\n<\/strong>If your partner seems preoccupied and isn’t connecting with you, it might be something at work that\u2019s troubling them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Give it a little time, your partner may be thinking it through, then say ‘I notice you seem worried. Can I help?\u201d says Tessina. “Don\u2019t always assume it\u2019s about you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. They have poor relationship skills.
\n<\/strong>Knowing how to be and act in a relationship doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and there are a lot of people who don’t know how to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“They may not have ever seen a healthy, happy relationship demonstrated in their parents or caregivers,” says Tessina. “So they will need a confrontation, coaching, and training from you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. They have family troubles.
\n<\/strong>\u201cPerhaps someone close to your partner is having trouble, and your partner is worried about them,” says Tessina. “In that case, say, ‘You\u2019ve seemed upset since you talked to your sister. What\u2019s wrong?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Their feelings have changed
\n<\/strong>“If someone has suddenly changed their behavior in a relationship, it could mean their feelings are not what they used to be,\u201d explains Lyons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s not fun to think about, but if your partner has realized a change in how they feel about you, but aren’t ready to talk about it or aren’t even sure what’s happening, they may grow quiet instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Your partner is stressed about something that has nothing to do with you.
\n<\/strong>It\u2019s entirely possible that the reason for their distance has nothing to do with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cStress related to workplace issues, family matters, money, or other situations can all take a toll,\u201d says Justin Lavelle, relationship columnist and Chief Communications Director at PeopleLooker.com.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. They aren\u2019t feeling well.
\n<\/strong>If your partner isn\u2019t feeling well, he or she may withdraw as a result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBe supportive and offer something soothing,” recommends Tessina. “Use what you know about your partner: Do they have delicate digestion? Allergies? Physical pain? Then offer some help, like tea or a massage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. You talk too much.
\n<\/strong>If you’re usually the more verbal person in the relationship, your partner could be feeling overwhelmed, or might not know how to jump in and have their say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLearn to limit your communication to a couple of sentences and then pause. Your partner may need more time than you do to gather thoughts and reply,\u201d says Tessina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. They have new priorities.
\n<\/strong>\u201cThe classic example of a priority shift is when a couple has a baby,\u201d says Lavelle. \u201cSuddenly, parents have different priorities, and rightly so. One spouse can sometimes feel left out of the equation and if these feelings aren\u2019t communicated and dealt with, resentment builds up, fueling a cycle that is hard to come back from.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. They’re feeling smothered.
\n<\/strong>Particularly near the beginning of a relationship, it\u2019s not at all uncommon for one of the two people to be more intense than the other. \u201cWanting to be together all the time, demanding constant contact and communication\u2026 this can become overwhelming and stifling, and a perfectly normal reaction for the partner who doesn\u2019t want to say what\u2019s bothering them is to withdraw,\u201d says Lavelle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. They’ve started thinking negatively about themselves.
\n<\/strong>This often happens when there’s some sort of change, either physically or in their world. When a person is lacking in self-confidence, this can cause them to withdraw from others around them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“After all, it\u2019s difficult to believe that someone else can love you when you\u2019re at a low point in your life,\u201d says Lavelle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel someone drifting away, it’s important to trust how you’re feeling and not brush your feelings off, or think you’re being paranoid. But it’s also important to realize that their behavior may not have anything to do with you. It’s hard when we feel something unnamable coming between us and our partner, but it’s not unsolvable. Be there for your partner, listen to them, ask questions, and be aware. The answer may not be one you like, but it will come eventually.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you ask them, they say they\u2019re fine or they\u2019re tired. But is that really it?\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":17642,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[891,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n13 Reasons Why Your Partner Is Acting Weird or Distant<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"when you ask them, they say they\u2019re fine, or they\u2019re tired, or that work is stressing them out. 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