{"id":17773,"date":"2018-11-25T01:00:28","date_gmt":"2018-11-25T09:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17773"},"modified":"2023-10-25T11:34:31","modified_gmt":"2023-10-25T18:34:31","slug":"how-to-use-tinder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/how-to-use-tinder\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Use Tinder and Actually Get Dates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Before we get into the complex and beautiful world that is dating on Tinder, let\u2019s make one thing clear<\/span>\u2014<\/span>Swiping is not dating. Matching is not dating. Chatting is not dating. Dating is dating. If you\u2019re on Tinder making a ton of matches and chatting up a storm, you may be having a great time getting to know other people and flirting, but you\u2019re not really dating unless you\u2019re meeting people in person. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s the tricky part now isn\u2019t it? Tinder is designed in a way that makes it quicker and easier to \u2018meet\u2019 more people through the app. But when it comes to actually getting off the app and to that first in-person date, it\u2019s still pretty hard. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it can certainly be done. In fact, tons of people go on Tinder dates every day. So if you want to know how to use Tinder to actually get dates, here are a few helpful steps. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1: Set up that profile.<\/strong> <\/span>
\n<\/span>I know setting up a dating profile can seem almost as painful as updating a resume, but if you want to meet people who are actually interested in dating (and aren\u2019t just on the app to just mess around) it\u2019s important. Take a little time to pick some good dating profile photos<\/a> and write a quick Tinder bio. It shows the other people on that app who are interested in actually dating, that you\u2019re there for more than swiping too. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 2: Swipe and match.<\/strong>
\n<\/span>Like I said, this is the easy part. Swipe right on the people you\u2019re into, left on the people you\u2019re not and see what happens. If you start getting a ton of matches and you don\u2019t have time to respond to everyone, be more selective. If you\u2019re not getting a lot of matches, don\u2019t be so picky. And, even though there\u2019s a part of me that hates saying this, if you\u2019re having really bad luck you can always say yes to everyone and then decide later if you\u2019d like to chat with them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 3: Start a conversation.<\/strong>
\n<\/span>If you\u2019re a heterosexual male on Tinder, you\u2019re probably going to have to make the first move and start the conversation. If you\u2019re not, you may want to anyway, since it will help you be more successful and is a lot better than sitting around and waiting for someone to do it for you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lot has been written about how to craft a great Tinder opening line<\/a>, but the main thing is to say something more than just hi or hey. Asking a question about the person\u2019s profile or photos is great. Compliments or jokes are harder to pull off (they often come across as creepy pick-up lines) but can be done if handled well. Don\u2019t be too formal and introduce yourself.  (As in, “Hi, I’m Jake. I just moved here and am interested in meeting nice people.”) Instead, ask a question about the other person so that the ball is in their court. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 4: Establish a good back and forth.<\/strong>
\n<\/span>Once you get a response from the person you\u2019ve messaged, keep that conversation going. You don\u2019t even need to have a typical dating conversation with questions like, “<\/span>Where are you from? What do you do? What do you like to do in your spare time?” It works better if you <\/span>see where the conversation takes you, and then you can fall back on the dating questions<\/a> if the conversation begins to die down. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, if your first message was about a vacation photo on their profile, talk about that location, ask questions about their trip, or chat about where they want to go next. If you said you loved their Ghostbusters Halloween costume, chat about what character you relate to the most (even though we all know it\u2019s Bill Murray) or what movie was your favorite. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, help each other out. Don\u2019t just answer the other person\u2019s questions with one line, a yes, or a no. That makes it so they have to do all the work to keep the conversation going. When you give answers elaborate, tell stories, and go off about something you enjoy. Don\u2019t think too hard about saying the smartest most charming thing, just respond as naturally as you would with any other friend. The best conversations are when people are chatting fast, one idea moves into the next, and you find yourself wondering, <\/span>How\u2019d we even start talking about this? <\/span><\/i>So don\u2019t be afraid to see where things take you and go for it. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 5: Ask for a date.<\/strong>
\n<\/span>After chatting for a bit, even the best conversations have a lull. If you\u2019re interested in the person still and want to meet in person, that\u2019s when you ask them out. There are a lot of ways to ask someone out online, but most of the time a simple, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve really enjoyed chatting. want to meet up sometime?\u201d is all it takes. If the person is interested, they\u2019ll say yes. If they\u2019re not, you can say, \u201cI understand. Thanks for the good convo,\u201d and move on to the next person. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What you don\u2019t want to do is keep chatting with someone off and on for weeks. Then your conversation can get stale and the other person may forget about you or grow disinterested. If you\u2019ve had a good convo and you want to take it off the app, go ahead and ask them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 6: Nail down the logistics.<\/strong>
If you\u2019re asking someone out on an app, it\u2019s best to make plans for that week. You don\u2019t want to wait more than seven days or put it off while you\u2019ve got good momentum with this person. So plan something simple like drinks or a simple coffee date<\/a> that works with your schedules. If you\u2019re the one doing the asking, usually you should be the one to suggest a place. So have a few ideas in mind and don\u2019t ask the other person to make too many decisions. Just like when you\u2019re making plans with friends, asking a bunch of questions (What do you feel like eating? What time works for you? Where do you usually like to go?) can create friction and a lot of \u201cI don\u2019t knows.\u201d So make it easy on them, with something like, \u201cHow\u2019s Thursday work for you? There\u2019s a new bar downtown I\u2019ve been wanting to check out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 7: Keep it fresh.<\/strong>
\n<\/span>Once you\u2019ve agreed on a date, don\u2019t completely ignore the person and go into silent mode. You don\u2019t need to text or chat with them all week leading up to the date, but at the very least a \u201cHey, we still on for tonight?\u201d the day of the date is helpful. And if you\u2019re both into each other and excited, it\u2019s completely fine to keep chatting leading up to the date. Even a simple, \u201cOh man, this week seems so long. I wish it was Thursday already,” is a non-weird way to check in and start a new conversation. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 8: Show up.<\/strong>
\n<\/span>Ok, so this isn\u2019t a step so much as the inevitable conclusion, but yes, showing up to your date is important. Once you\u2019ve gotten past the initial awkwardness of meeting and chatting online (or maybe things went great and it wasn\u2019t awkward at all) comes the inevitable first date. So enjoy it! <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how things go, you\u2019ve already been successful in getting off the app and getting out there. You should be proud of yourself! The truth is that Tinder is easy<\/span>\u2014swiping, matching, and chatting is easy. But dating\u2026 Well, that\u2019s hard and it takes practice and a little bit of bravery to get out there and do it right. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So as you\u2019re moving through the steps, don\u2019t forget that it\u2019s ok to stumble now and then. Chances are you\u2019re going to say the wrong thing, make a bad joke, realize you\u2019re not that into someone, pick a bar that they hate, or fumble up trying to ask for the date. And that\u2019s ok. The important thing is that you keep trying and learning. That\u2019s how you\u2019ll eventually meet someone really great. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

*The Date Mix is owned by Zoosk, Inc. Zoosk, Inc. is not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way officially connected with Tinder, or any of their subsidiaries or affiliates. Tinder is a registered trademark of their respective owners.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Swiping is not dating. Matching is not dating. Dating is dating. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":17774,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[888,991],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-online-dating","category-tinder"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Use Tinder and Actually Get Dates<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It may seem hard, but oons of people go on Tinder dates every day. 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