{"id":17793,"date":"2018-11-26T14:00:42","date_gmt":"2018-11-26T22:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17793"},"modified":"2021-05-31T10:42:40","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T17:42:40","slug":"how-to-get-over-a-guy-no-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/how-to-get-over-a-guy-no-good\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Over a Guy You Know Isn’t Good for You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How many times have you known something\u2019s bad for you, but couldn\u2019t help but indulge in it? <\/span>A whole pizza to yourself with stuffed crust, too many glasses of wine on a Tuesday night, and sun bathing without wearing any sun cream. <\/span>We know these things are bad for us, but we keep on doing them. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because we like doing them, or we like how we feel while doing them or the pleasure we get after doing them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same goes for men. It\u2019s really hard to stop thinking about someone you really like, no matter how poorly they treat you or if you know they\u2019re not right for you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your family and friends have given you advice countless times, and you know you should\u2019ve walked away a long time ago, but for some reason your head or your heart can\u2019t let go. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how to get over a guy you know is bad news, once and for all.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Figure out what isn\u2019t good for you.
\n<\/b>Sometimes you can be really aware that you\u2019re in a toxic relationship. This might show up in the form of emotional or even physical abuse\u2014which is never okay. But there are a lot of times when we make excuses in our head for someone\u2019s actions, because we love them, which means we fail to see the ways in which they\u2019re treating us poorly. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for you to get over someone who\u2019s not good for you, you have to recognize what that actually means, and how it\u2019s showing up for you. Someone who isn\u2019t good for you means someone who doesn\u2019t respect you, or puts your health (emotional or physical) in danger. It also applies to someone who betrays your trust, uses you for their own gain, or creates a life for you that\u2019s worse than if you were on your own. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even if it\u2019s as small as someone not responding to your texts, or bailing on plans with you, these would still fall into the \u201cnot good for you\u201d category if you feel disrespected or upset as a result. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Focus on those parts of the relationship.
\n<\/b>Once you\u2019ve figured out the toxic parts of the relationship and the guy in question, you can use these as tools on your journey to get over him. Focus on the reasons why it wasn\u2019t working, and the ways in which you felt like you weren\u2019t being treated the way you\u2019d hoped to be. This will help you see that while it may hurt now, this is what\u2019s best for both of you long term. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you need to lean on your friends or family during this time while you\u2019re working through things\u2014do. That\u2019s what they\u2019re there for. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember, you can\u2019t change someone.
\n<\/b>If someone wants to make some big changes in their life, it\u2019s possible, but they have to be making those changes for themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is why when a girl attempts to change a guy who\u2019s not ready to, it always fails. You can\u2019t change someone, so if there\u2019s a part of you hoping this guy will change so you can be together, think again. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he hasn\u2019t made those changes already, he\u2019s unlikely to. All that\u2019s left is for you to respect that, and continue building a life without them in the picture. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love yourself.
\n<\/b>An important step in getting over someone is to give extra care to yourself than you usually would. That might mean eating well, moving your body each day, getting more sleep, sprucing your house up with a beautiful bunch of flowers, or getting a new haircut. All these little things will really help to lift your mood, shift your mindset, and focus your attention on something other than <\/span>him<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple of things that feel good in the moment, but<\/span> not<\/span> so good after include: eating a tub of ice cream on your own, and watching movies like The Notebook on Netflix.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quit cold turkey.
\n<\/b>This means unfollowing him on social media, deleting him from your phone, and not hanging out in places where you know you might run into him. Keeping that connection alive is only going to draw you closer to him.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know what you\u2019ve got to do: cut the cord. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just keep on reminding yourself of all the times he disappointed or hurt you, and all the times you put up with way less than you deserve.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Know what you are willing to accept, and be honest with yourself about it.
\n<\/b>If you\u2019re okay with someone continually letting you down in a relationship, then you might choose to stay in it. But if you know you want and deserve more, then you\u2019re only going to make yourself miserable by staying. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think about what you really want. Is this guy giving you that? <\/span>If the honest answer is no, you\u2019re doing yourself a disservice by keeping him in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Move forward.
\n<\/b>Sometimes things are worth fighting for, while other times there\u2019s nothing <\/span>to<\/span> fight for. <\/span>Knowing someone\u2019s not good for you means this is a time to cut your losses and walk away. At first it\u2019ll be hard, but once you\u2019re over that initial period you\u2019ll realize you\u2019re much better off without him. You won\u2019t be able to get to this point unless you make a commitment to move forward in your life\u2014so make one today.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s really hard to stop thinking about someone you really like, no matter how poorly they treat you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":17794,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17793","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Get Over a Guy You Know Isn't Good for You<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It\u2019s really hard to stop thinking about someone you really like, no matter how poorly they treat you or if you know they\u2019re not right for you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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