{"id":17803,"date":"2018-11-29T01:00:37","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T09:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17803"},"modified":"2021-05-31T10:42:08","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T17:42:08","slug":"fear-of-relationships-after-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/fear-of-relationships-after-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Is It Normal to Have a Fear of Relationships After Divorce?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In one word\u2014Yes, of course it\u2019s normal to be fearful of a relationship after having a divorce. <\/span>Even the most amicable of divorces can still be painful. You\u2019re breaking up with someone, and ending a relationship that you probably imagined would last <\/span>forever.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a big thing to get your head around, and recover from. So don\u2019t be hard on yourself if you do have a fear of entering into a new relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And maybe the divorce was a bad one. Maybe you were lied to or cheated on. Maybe someone abused you emotionally, or even physically; and you\u2019re having a difficult time trusting again.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s okay. Be patient and loving with yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some of the most common fears you might have of relationships after divorce, and how to overcome them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re afraid you won\u2019t be able to spot the red flags soon enough.
\n<\/b>Usually, red flags are pretty clear early on with people, the trouble is we choose to ignore them because we only want to see and acknowledge the good things we’re looking for. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If someone does something that goes against your values, then call them out on it just to be clear you didn\u2019t misunderstand them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when you see the red flags, let them be a vital warning for you this time. For example, someone telling you white little lies, someone who’s flaky and bailing on plans, someone scrimping money off you, someone who’s cheated in the past, or someone who drinks too much. These are all things you can notice early on, but you have to pay attention to them and act on them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Watch the other person\u2019s actions carefully the next time you\u2019re on a date, and you\u2019ll be fine.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re afraid you\u2019re not worthy of love.
\n<\/b>You are worthy of love. We all are. But if you don\u2019t believe that, you need to spend some time loving and dating yourself before you think about a new relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your past may have left you feeling like you\u2019re undateable, or damaged goods, but this is simply fear talking. You\u2019re staying focused on the negative experiences you\u2019ve had, and thinking all your future experiences are going to be the same. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what has happened in your past, you are worthy of love. And there is someone out there who is going to love you. While you\u2019re waiting for them to show up, choose to love yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re afraid there aren\u2019t any good people to date.
\n<\/b>Unfortunately, you\u2019ve met a handful of bad eggs. The reality is, most people are good, and there are billions of awesome single people out there. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not meeting any?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, are you actively seeking them out? Are you dating online? Are you asking friends to set you up? Are you open to meeting new people, and having new experiences? Are you getting out of your comfort zone and increasing your chances of meeting new people? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re not, then quit complaining! <\/span>There are a ton of good people out there to date. Go find them, and believe they\u2019re out there.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re afraid you won\u2019t get your confidence back again.
\n<\/b>Your previous relationship might\u2019ve given your confidence a proper bashing, and left you feeling all kinds of not good enough. You might feel like a shadow of the person you used to be, and feel like it\u2019s impossible to get back to the real you, but it\u2019s not. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your light has simply dimmed a little, but it will never go out. It\u2019s up to you to get it shining again. Getting out there and dating again (when you\u2019re ready) will help a ton. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re afraid you\u2019ll get hurt again.
\n<\/b>You know what? Yes, you might get hurt again. That\u2019s always a possibility when it comes to love. That\u2019s the risk we take every day when we put our hearts out there. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what\u2019s the alternative?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You keep those walls up, your heart closed off, and you don\u2019t fall in love again. <\/span>What would you prefer? <\/span>Anything worth having is worth taking a risk for. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This whole love thing is a journey of learning and practice. The more you do it, the better you get at it. So put your fears aside, and take a chance on love. This is how you\u2019ll live your best life\u2014<\/span>not<\/span> by sitting on the sofa downing ice cream. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fears are normal\u2014so don\u2019t be hard on yourself.
\n<\/b>We\u2019ve already spoken a lot about fear, but it deserves its own section here because of how big of a role it plays in all our lives. Here\u2019s the truth\u2014nobody is fearless. We all have fears, and no matter how many we face, new fears just end up replacing the ones we overcome. <\/span>Sounds great, doesn\u2019t it?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the moral of the story is, don\u2019t judge yourself for those fears, because we all have them. The important thing is that you don\u2019t allow them to stop you from living the life you came here to live. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In one word\u2014Yes. But here’s how to address it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":17804,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,988,973,891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-divorce","category-moving-on","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIs It Normal to Have a Fear of Relationships After Divorce?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here are some of the most common fears you might have of relationships after divorce, and how to overcome them.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/fear-of-relationships-after-divorce\/\" \/>\n<meta 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