I\u2019m a relationship coach now, but way back when\u2026 boy did I struggle in the love department. I sit here writing this while going through my laundry list of poor dating choices in my life. I can\u2019t help to think about how many of the men I dated could fall into the \u201cplayer\u201d category.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s not hash out all the dreary details but one of my biggest weaknesses was believing every word these players would say. Call me na\u00efve but I just saw the best in people and each time I did, I\u2019d end up devastated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, I\u2019m not going to advice anyone to become a bitter, angry, single person who doesn\u2019t trust anyone. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but to get there you have to learn how to date more consciously and be mindful about how to approach dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are five ways to stop attracting those annoying players:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Make sure their actions match their words. <\/strong> There\u2019s a very simple test you can use to weed out these pesky players\u2014test their actions against their words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, if he tells you he can\u2019t wait to introduce you to his friends\/family and weeks later he hasn\u2019t set up any dates\u2026 Words: 1, Actions: 0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then if he says he says family is super-important to him, but he never engages with your family or his family\u2026 Words: 2, Actions: 0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The idea is to hold him accountable for the things he says. If you do this, it won\u2019t take you long to figure out if you\u2019re dating a player or someone who truly deserves your love and trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Open your eyes and trust your gut.<\/strong> Well, when it comes to dating players almost all of them have a certain look\/style. That\u2019s because they\u2019re well aware of the things that attract women. That\u2019s how they\u2019re able to play the game so well. But, the thing is, so many women see these obvious signs that a womanizer is standing before them, then convince themselves this one is different or that they can change him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bottom line is that when it comes to weeding out players, trusting your gut feeling that something it wrong and then trusting the choices you make after that are key.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Drop chemistry and study biology.<\/strong> Here\u2019s the thing about chemistry; it\u2019s great, but did you know in the early stages of dating that incredible joyous feeling of connection to someone is your brain pumping out dopamine? Which is the same chemical that\u2019s released when a person uses cocaine? That\u2019s right, cocaine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you find a player and suddenly find yourself supremely addicted to them in a way that makes no sense to you, chances are it\u2019s biology not chemistry that you\u2019re feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So smart daters know that the best way to avoid getting caught dating players is to date with your head and not your heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Know your relationship non-negotiables.<\/strong> What kryptonite is to Superman, non-negotiables are to players. That\u2019s because when you\u2019re armed with your non-negotiables, it\u2019s easy to see when someone you\u2019re dating doesn\u2019t meet one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And when it comes to non-negotiables, even if one of them isn\u2019t met, the relationship will fail every time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Having that knowledge of whether the person across from you is right for you or not, is so powerful. It\u2019s like having a player detector on you at all times. So, before you make your next dating move, make sure that all your relationship non-negotiables are met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Slow down so you can speed up.<\/strong> One thing about most players is that they tend to be very impatient. I mean, why would you invest weeks or months into a woman you may not even win over, when woman number two or three throws herself at your feet. So, when it comes to avoiding players it\u2019s really important for you to take your time so you know what you have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now you\u2019re armed with the dating tools that help you make more conscious choices when it comes to dating. At the end of the day, even when they choose you… it\u2019s your choice to date them or not, so be smart!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Amie is certified as a Master Relationship Coach and published Author. Her mission is to help singles find lasting love by <\/em>Conscious Dating<\/em><\/a>. Her dedication has led Amie to be named one of LA\u2019s Best Dating Coaches by Dating Advice. Amie has been featured in a variety of media outlets including the CBS Network, Fox 5 News, People Entertainment Weekly Channel, HelloGiggles TV, ATTN:, LiveStrong, and Martha Stewart Weddings. <\/em>She invites you to grab her free copy of \u201c5 Dating Traps Keeping You Single<\/a>\u201d. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Learn how to date more consciously and be mindful about how you approach dating.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":168,"featured_media":17855,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,886],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-dating-advice-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nEvery player I ever dated was a master of words. It\u2019s like they went to some college for players, came back and knew exactly what to say to me to suck me in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nYou know the old saying that if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, then guess what\u2026 it\u2019s a duck?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIf I had a nickel for every person who told me how much chemistry she had with Player #1, or Player #2, or #3, I could hang up my dating coaching shoes and retire. When it comes to finding long lasting love, chemistry isn\u2019t worth much if you don\u2019t have deeper aligned values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nI often write about non-negotiables not only because they\u2019re an important part of conscious dating, but also because they\u2019re important while you\u2019re weeding out people who aren\u2019t worth your time (aka players).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhen I first started dating my husband, it was five dates before I let him come and pick me up at my home. Did he like it? He most certainly did not. In fact, he voiced that numerous times, but I stuck to my guns. It wasn\u2019t really that I didn\u2019t trust him so much as I wanted to take things slow and make sure I did things at a speed that I was comfortable with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n