{"id":17919,"date":"2018-12-14T01:00:09","date_gmt":"2018-12-14T09:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=17919"},"modified":"2021-05-31T10:04:50","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T17:04:50","slug":"pistanthrophobia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pistanthrophobia\/","title":{"rendered":"Pistanthrophobia: What It Is and How to Get Past It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you constantly worry what your partner is doing and who they\u2019re with? Do you often assume they\u2019re being unfaithful and find yourself jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst case scenario? Do you naturally doubt potential dates in general and believe people are virtually incapable of being trustworthy anymore? If you\u2019ve answered yes to the above, then chances are you might have pistanthrophobia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pistanthrophobia is defined as the, \u201cfear of trusting people due to past experience and relationships gone wrong.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re probably thinking, \u201cYeah, no kidding,\u201d because if you\u2019ve ever suffered from a broken heart then it makes sense that you might be gun shy when entering a new relationship. While it\u2019s normal and healthy to be a little cautious when getting to know someone, pistanthrophobia brings mistrust to a whole different level, and can possibly interfere, and also sabotage, your relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pistanthrophobia replaces caution with obsession and an insane amount of distrust, which incites insecurity, jealousy, and an exaggerated sense of cynicism. From demanding commitment too quickly in relationships to assuming people are out to hurt you, pistantrophobia makes it practically impossible to have a healthy and happy relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think you have pistanthrophobia, or can relate to the mistrust behind it, here are some suggestions on how you can overcome it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Start each connection with a fresh mindset.<\/strong>
\nIt\u2019s important to remember that not everyone is like your ex. While it\u2019s easy to bring in past baggage and issues into new connections, if you\u2019re looking to start fresh with someone new then you really must do exactly that. If you\u2019ve been hurt by one person, or a number of people, assuming you\u2019ll encounter the same result is a programmed knee-jerk reaction that probably feels safe to you. If you keep thinking someone will ultimately hurt you, then you can\u2019t really be hurt, right? But that mentality doesn\u2019t serve you or any potential new relationship. Projections only end up poisoning relationships. Your new connection deserves to be given a chance to prove themselves to you. Close the book on your past, and allow this new person to show up for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Change your patterning.<\/strong>
\nIn order to allow someone to show up for you, it\u2019s key to change your patterning. For example, if you tend to think of the worst case scenario, like, \u201cMy boyfriend didn\u2019t text back because he\u2019s lost interest in me,\u201d switch that with a positive thought, like, \u201cMy boyfriend didn\u2019t text back because he\u2019s busy at work. I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll text back when he can.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reprogramming your mindset is hard, but it\u2019s worth it. Not only does it breathe new and positive energy into your relationship but it also lessens your own anxiety. At the end of the day, people are going to do what they\u2019re going to do anyway. While you can\u2019t control others, you can control your own responses. Allowing yourself to feel peaceful and positive about your relationship allows you to put more energy into yourself than your partner, which is always a good thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Learn your lessons.
\n<\/strong>Often when we’re betrayed by others there were a number of red flags that popped up that we chose to ignore. While it\u2019s easy to blame the other party for their transgressions, it serves you to take responsibility for your part in the breakdown of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking back, was there something that you would\u2019ve done differently? Was it trusting your instincts? Communicating your needs or desires to your partner? Asking more questions? Take those lessons and move forward with them so you can make better decisions in your new relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Give yourself time to heal.<\/strong>
\nAfter a traumatic breakup, it\u2019s important to take a timeout from dating and heal from your pain. Otherwise you run the risk of rushing into a new relationship and causing more pain, and then more distrust. Everyone\u2019s processing timeline is different. Honor yours and start dating again when you feel like you\u2019ve arrived at the place where you\u2019re ready to meet and accept someone new.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Go to therapy.<\/strong>
\nIf you still feel like trusting another person is an impossible feat, then you might want to seek therapy. Therapy can help you get to the root of the issue and provide you with tools and insights on how to overcome what\u2019s hindering you from trusting someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a bad breakup, the natural reaction is to put up barriers and try to protect yourself from ever opening up to someone new again and trusting them with your precious heart. But in doing so you could miss out on the bliss of spending your life with someone who\u2019s not only amazing, but who would never misuse your trust. Don\u2019t let the ghosts of your past prevent you from finding love again. They might\u2019ve disrupted your trust, but they don\u2019t have to disrupt your happy ending.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you have a fear of trusting people due to past relationships, there’s a name for it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":17920,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17919","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nPistanthrophobia: What It Is and How to Get Past It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Pistanthrophobia is defined as the, \u201cfear of trusting people due to past experience and relationships gone wrong.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/pistanthrophobia\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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